Back sliding

Last Wednesday I had a chiropractic adjustment that felt like “the one I’ve been waiting for.” I reported to Dr. Collins on how the exercises from last month went. He had asked me to place shoes — like wedges — under specific parts of my lower back and pelvis so my body could experience what it feels like to be untwisted, doing this 15 minutes 2x a week.

After the second time, my body went through a “crisis day” where it felt like all the adhesions in my left leg were screaming, and then the pain faded. I got a sense memory of two different ways of my muscul0-skeletal-nervous system being organized — the habitual dysfunctional way and the aligned new way. 

Last week, he did some muscle testing, then he positioned me and made an adjustment. I felt a quick pain in my left sacro-iliac (SI) joint.

And then nothing. Like being suspended in mid-air.

And then my body autonomically took a really deep, relaxing breath that told me this adjustment released a long-held pattern of tension.Sweet, blessed relief! This felt like the sweet spot I’ve been working so hard toward since February.

I noticed a need for silence and stillness and stayed home from work on Thursday. So far so good.

Friday night as part of yoga teacher training, we went to the Our Body exhibit — a display of human anatomy using real bodies that have been preserved, positioned, or cut open to reveal the structures inside.

And ironically, after being on my feet for over an hour filling up on anatomy, I began to feel the familiar old discomfort in my left SI joint.

By Saturday morning, my sacral ligament was inflamed. I attended yoga teacher training all day and took sublingual arnica, which helped some. Blood flow is good, but ligaments aren’t very vascular. When I got home, I reached for prescription anti-inflammatories.

Sunday was another crisis day. I took anti-inflammatories, sublingual arnica, arnica gel, and laid low, reading and resting and being still most of the day.

Today, less inflammation and pain, still have some stiffness.

I guess I wasn’t quite ready for the adjustment. I feel disappointed.

I noticed when my SI joints were aligned that the area between L5 and my sacrum felt tight. Also, after an adjustment, some walking is good, but standing is not. Valuable information.

Am I resisting change? Is there a part of me that doesn’t want to heal? I ask myself those questions and don’t get any clear answer. I imagine what it would feel like to be healed, and I realize I’ve held an expectation that once I get my lower back/sacrum/pelvis aligned, I will not only be pain free, but I will have rushes and beaucoups of energy.

Getting aligned (given my history of birth injury, PTSD, scoliosis, and car accident) is a two steps forward, one step back process.

At least I had a taste of it! That is so motivating. I can get aligned. I can learn how to hold the adjustment, just like I held the atlas adjustment that unwound scoliosis.


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