Experiencing loss on a larger scale

To recap where I left off, I lost my keys on Saturday. I shifted states to find them, first shifting from being upset to playing with Trickster, and also shifting time perception from mainland time to island time. I shifted behavior from frantic, frustrated searching to tossing a ball from hand to hand with eyes looking up.

I then followed an impulse that showed me where my keys were. Problem solved.

On Sunday, I returned from the workshop to discover a bigger loss. My house had been burglarized while I was away, and the thieves took my laptop, wifi router, cable modem, and computer accessories, my DVD/VCR player, my old flute, and (I discovered today) a sports watch.

Other human beings entered my personal living space and took things that belonged to me! It’s Friday, and I still feel a little bit of outrage about that.

Yet I recognize that losing keys, and losing stuff, are minor losses compared to losing one’s health, loved ones, a home or livelihood with no replacement, life. Perspective is important.

They were thoughtless about it, too. For instance, they took the remote to the TV but not the big 27″ Sony TV — too big and heavy. They took the cable modem that I lease from my ISP — useless without an ISP enabling it, and it has an ID. They took the cable to my digital camera, which was dangling out of a USB port — no good to anyone without a camera and software. Stupid, you know?

Mostly they grabbed things that were easy to pawn. I reported it to the police, and they’ll be on the lookout for the items for which I had a serial number.

That’s a lot of inconvenience. Luckily, I have good homeowner’s insurance, albeit with a $500 deductible. I’ll be filling out forms soon and eventually get a check to buy replacements with. But I didn’t have anything backed up, a serious error on my part. I’d been meaning to do that but didn’t have a clear idea of which method to use, so I procrastinated. Now I know — external hard drive, kept separately.

I wanted to spend Sunday night away from home, due to feeling discomfort in my own home, but didn’t. I’d already been away Saturday night, and I missed my kitty Mango. He was my first clue that something was amiss. I had asked my daughter to let him in Saturday night because of the cold. When I pulled into the driveway on Sunday, he was outside. The burglars must have let him out.

Monday morning, I smudged my house with palo santo (fragrant holy wood), brought to me recently from Peru, to clear the negative energy. Moving on through this experience, shifting states.

The burglar of my imagination is a young man between 17 and 21 whose frontal lobes are not finished developing, who therefore lacks the ability to foresee consequences. His ability to empathize with others is also lacking. I imagine, but do not know, that he will eventually get caught and spend time in prison. Not many people who engage in this kind of behavior turn their lives around before going to prison. It would take exceptional awareness of consequences and strong intent to change one’s path. It could happen, though. Those frontal lobes will kick in at some point.

I feel sad and disappointed that humans behave like this and that someone did this to me. It’s personal, yet I know it happens to a lot of people. It’s not the first time I’ve had things taken. Last year in Maui, thieves broke into the car and took my large duffel bag crammed full of stuff.

Because I was on Maui, how upset could I be? Who wants to ruin a perfectly blissful vacation getting bent out of shape over some stuff? I was on Maui, with friends. Perspective.

There’s also recognizing the reality of economic disparity. People judge themselves to be poor or rich in comparison to others and have stories about that. I don’t actually know that I am poorer or richer than these burglars. I am a freelance yoga teacher at present. They probably are freelance burglars, who wouldn’t do this if they had a job.

Like the Kathy Bates character in Fried Green Tomatoes, I’m older and have good insurance!

On a different note, I have seriously been downsizing my possessions, taking stuff to Goodwill, selling it to Half Price Books and on Craigslist, and giving it away. My house has become clean, spare, and spacious, and I like that.

This burglary was an extension of downsizing energy, even though it came from someone else liberating me from my stuff. I’ve decided to donate the remoteless TV to Goodwill and go without. I can watch DVDs, movies, and TV shows on my replacement laptop (and will get a backup system at the same time). I’ll rebuild iTunes and can recreate documents as needed.

So. It’s not something I’m moping about. I secured the window and use the alarm consistently. Just one of those things, a more serious contraction than losing the keys, but still, a momentary blip in the big picture.

Universe, if you’re listening, please hold off on the downsizing and boundary violations for a bit, okay?

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