Slowing down, freaking out

I have several topics to address. First, I am feeling behind in this busy life — with taxes, gardening, housework, projects, plans — and also spring has sprung in Austin, Texas, USA. I desire to be outdoors enjoying it when I can, because it doesn’t last very long.

So I am not going to be blogging as often for a while.

Sitting daily for 3o minutes is still a very high priority. I will probably blog at least twice a week, maybe more if so moved, but not daily like I was doing for awhile.

Peg says that the practice of meditation tends to follow a pattern of breakthrough followed by a plateau as you integrate. I imagine you all probably like to read more about the breakthroughs and aren’t all that interested in the integration part. I’m the same way.

After awhile, integrating a breakthrough becomes harder to write about. You know it is still affecting your body-mind system. You sense that it’s still happening but at a subtler level, more sporadic. I figure it’s getting down into synapses and cells and molecules and atoms. Not much to say there.


Today I saw a new health care practitioner who works with energy. My internal jury is still out, giving a technique that’s brand new to me a fair chance, so I’m not going to say too much about it yet.

She shared some information with me that was alarming. About my energy. It seems possible that it could be true. Yet something about her communication with me rubbed me the wrong way, and I haven’t been able to put my finger on it until I began having this imaginary one-sided conversation (internal rant) that lets me know one of my buttons has been pushed:

You may think  you know all about my energy system, more than I do, and perhaps you’re right. But you don’t know me. I am not broken. I’ve made 57 circles around the sun so far, and that’s a lot of life.

If your words imply that I’m broken or that only you can fix me, I’m not sure I want to work with you. I don’t like being in that position. I’ve been getting along without you all these years. I allow you to help me. Respect that.

I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt because you’re young, someone I respect recommended you, it is possible that what you say is at least partly true, and I am curious whether what you do is effective.

Just please, don’t be a drama queen, okay? You freaking out makes me feel like a freak, and you know what? I don’t need it.

I go back in two weeks. If there’s anything more to write about this, I will!


2 thoughts on “Slowing down, freaking out

  1. I really get what you’re talking about. I’m feint similarly about a health care person I’ve been seeing for quite a while. Hmmmm… To go back or just shine it on. Rubbed me the wrong way big time.


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