Wow. I just got up off the floor after the most abandoned TRE experience yet.
I wasn’t paying that much attention as I did the exercises. I’ve learned them pretty well by now and was doing them by rote. I actually was watching, and then just listening to, a crazy Werner Herzog video called Even Dwarves Started Small, which is in German (with English subtitles), and the cast — as far as I can tell — is entirely composed of dwarves. Boisterous, noisy, German-speaking, laughing, cackling, yelling dwarves.
So the theme tonight was chaos, and chaos I got.
The real releasing started with the last step of Exercise 7, when I placed my feet flat on the floor. It started out with my usual leg shaking. Then pelvic rocking.
Then my left hand started quivering, then my left arm was shaking, then it was wildly flapping like a crazy bird! My left shoulder got involved and at times was pounding into the floor.
It just went on and on and on. Two separate times I went through wildly chaotic lengthy releases of my left shoulder and arm.
My whole body released in a way it hadn’t before. I was not only rocking vertically, but I began to roll horizontally as well! I had some big neck releases.
Tonight as soon as I slowed and one movement ended, another one started up elsewhere in my body.
My legs got wild again, knees slamming into each other.
Now, as I type this, my whole left arm feels different, buzzing with a kind of energy I don’t ever remember feeling there.
Left shoulder. What is that? I had a rotator cuff injury several years ago that didn’t go away until months later when I finally got treatment for it. Maybe living with that pain was trauma I stored, and even though my injury healed, my energy didn’t. And now, through these exercises, my energy body is healing itself.
Then again, I’ve had many issues that these exercises could be helping me recover from: birth injury to a sacral nerve, scoliosis, PTSD.
Who knows? It’s a mystery. We’re a mystery.
I just know it’s good to release tension.
And…it’s very sexual without being sexual at all. It’s pure tension release, with that same element of abandonment and surrender to the body’s processes that really good passionate sex has.
I have a feeling that doing these exercises for a couple of months may add passion to my sex life when I have a lover again!
I wonder if distracting my conscious mind with the crazy video helped my unconscious mind let go even more.
My left hand just wanted to do some more releasing.
Okay. That’s better.