Day 2

I sat about 8:30 this morning. No need to stretch or do yoga–I was pretty fresh from bed. Just fed the cats, turned on the heater, wrapped myself in the blanket, turned on the timer, and sat.

So many ways to do the body scan. With energy, softening, with sensation on skin. Temperature differences, pressure of clothing and touch.

As for whole body awareness, I have experimented with how to do this. My coach asked me to do this. It was something I hadn’t tried before.

Hmm. I quickly noticed that it’s not my typical frame. My attention in meditation has moved from body part to body part, feeling a tightness here, a softening there, a blossoming here, a twinge there, interspersed with awareness of my monkey mind doing its thing.

Somehow I  needed to get bigger to attend to my whole body. Like Alice.

Feeling my energy body all at once is elusive, because the energy is in motion, surging and abating in various parts. Being aware of my field of active energy: I can do it for a few seconds at a time before my attention moves to a particular surge.

Then I create an image of myself sitting, as if looking in a mirror, only I’m dark and the background is dark. I fill it in with lights–chakras, nervous system, finally cells. I view my whole body in front of me. I notice my mirror inhaling and exhaling. My mirror gets up and sits down in my body, and we merge. That was fun!

Then monkey mind quiets. I breathe and feel physical and energetic expansion on each inhalation, and relaxation on the exhalation. Big me and little me. Expanded me and contracted me. Extraordinary me and ordinary me.

Another time I give up on trying to be aware of my whole body. Awareness diminishes to a place that seems to be in the center of my brain. It’s deep and dark and nothing is there. It’s very still. Time seems to slow. Just doing nothing.

That was the most restorative of all my experiments.

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