Finding your strengths = following your bliss

Since January is usually a time when people think about the coming year and what they’d like to change in their lives (or what they’d like to be experiencing by the end of this year), it seems like the perfect month to write about finding your strengths.

First, an aside about strategies to enjoy life and be successful. Some of us have learned that we need to develop our weaknesses in order to be successful.

You should be more whatever.

How do you feel when someone says that to you? What is presupposed here?

Now try this on:

Wow, you are really great at whatever!

How do you feel? What’s the difference?  Which statement is more motivating? Inspiring?

On the whole, it is more joyful and productive to build on your strengths. People who do what they’re good at and like doing are more engaged in their work and have a higher quality of life.

Last year I learned about a book called Strengths Finder 2.0 by Tom Rath. This book is a Wall Street Journal bestseller, but it has wide applications, not just business.

By the way, only buy the book new, not used, for reasons given below. It’s currently $10.61 on Amazon.com. Click the link above to view and order. The full retail price is $24.95.

Background in brief: For 40 years, the Gallup Poll people have studied human strengths. A couple of guys narrowed them down to 34 different strengths and developed an assessment to help people find their strengths. That’s the basis of Strengths Finder 2.0.

A new copy of the book has an access code at the back to take the assessment online. I took it and received a summary that lists my top five strengths in order, applications for each strength, and quotes from real people who share my top five strengths.

These are my top five strengths in order:

  1. Maximizer (by the way, this book appeals to Maximizers )
  2. Adaptability
  3. Relator
  4. Activator
  5. Futuristic

One note: On some of the questions, I felt that I might answer one way today, a different way tomorrow. I pretty much sped through it, which is encouraged. It would be interesting to take the assessment once a year for several years to see how much my top five strengths change or remain the same.

Now a little about my strengths:

  • Maximizer means I measure myself by excellence. I polish the pearl until it shines. Others see me as discriminating. I’m attracted to people who have found and cultivated their strengths [and who want to find and cultivate them].
  • Adaptability means I live in the present. The future isn’t fixed but a place I create out of choices I make now. I don’t resent sudden requests or unforeseen detours for long — I expect them and at some level look forward to them.
  • Relator means I’m attracted to people I already know and want to get to know them better. I don’t shy away from new people, but I do get a lot of pleasure from being around my friends. If you don’t know me, don’t let this scare you. Every friend was once a stranger who came into my life.
  • Activator is about doing. Only action makes things happen. Once a decision is made, I cannot not act. I believe that action is the best device for learning. I put myself out there and take the next step.
  • Futuristic is about seeing possibilities, which pulls me forward. I am fascinated by the direction of energy from the past through the present into the future. Futuristic initially seemed to conflict with Adaptability, but I think having these two in my top five strengths as well as Activator means I like manifesting, actualizing, realizing.

Based on these five strengths, my mission statement is:

I am passionate about manifesting excellence with my friends.

I like it!

    Read these books!

    I read a lot.

    Let me clarify that. I don’t read as much as a few other people read, or as much as I read in the past, but I am a reader. I’ve been an avid reader from a young age, at times indiscriminate but now much more discerning.

    It’s that Buddhist saying: “Don’t waste time.” If a book doesn’t hook me early on, I set it aside and try later. It doesn’t mean it’s not good. It just means it’s not relevant enough to what I need to learn in that moment to make the effort feel alive. Energy flows where attention goes. If there’s no energy there, why bother?

    The following is a list of books I read in 2010,  plan to read in 2011 (plan, not commit), read before 2010 (and mentioned on this blog) that have shaped my world, and reference books that I dip into but will probably not read cover to cover. Links are included to the books’ pages on Amazon.com; if you buy a book from clicking a link here, I’ll get a very small financial reward — which I appreciate, because blogging takes time.

    I’ve mentioned a few of the 2010 books prominently, namely, The Open-Focus Brain, A Symphony in the Brain, Buddha’s Brain, The Revolutionary Trauma Release Process, and What Really Matters. You can do a search for those posts and read what I wrote if you want.

    Books read in 2010

    Buddha, by Karen Armstrong

    Buddha’s Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love and Wisdom, by Rick Hanson

    The Heart of Yoga: Developing a Personal Practice, by T.K.V. Desikachar

    Krishnamacharya: His Life and Teachings, by A.G. Mohan with Ganesh Mohan

    The Open-Focus Brain: Harnessing the Power of Attention to Heal Mind and Body, by Les Fehmi and Jim Robbins

    Relax and Renew: Restful Yoga for Stressful Times, by Judith Lasater, Ph.D., P.T.

    The Revolutionary Trauma Release Process: Transcend Your Toughest Times, by David Bercelli

    Strengths Finder 2.0, by Tom Rath

    A Symphony in the Brain, by Jim Robbins

    The Web That Has No Weaver, by Ted J. Kaptchuk

    What Really Matters: Searching for Wisdom in America, by Tony Schwartz

    Yoga Sutras, translated by Kofi Busia (PDF file)

    2011 Reading List

    The 4-Hour Body, by Timothy Ferriss

    Access Your Brain’s Joy Center: The Free Soul Method, by Pete A. Sanders Jr.

    The Alphabet Versus the Goddess: The Conflict Between Word and Image, by Leonard Shlain

    Beliefs: Pathways to Health & Well-Being, by Robert Dilts, Tim Hallbom, and Suzi Smith

    Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking, by Malcolm Gladwell

    Chants of a Lifetime: Searching for a Heart of Gold, by Krishna Das

    The Complete Book of Vinyasa Yoga: The Authoritative Presentation Based on 30 Years of Direct Study Under the Legendary Yoga Teacher Krishnamacharya, by Srivatsa Ramaswami

    Effortless Wellbeing: The Missing Ingredients for Authentic Wellness, by Evan Finer

    Emotional Intelligence 2.0, by Travis Bradberry & Jean Greaves

    Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation, by Parker J. Palmer

    Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life, by Byron Katie and Stephen Mitchell

    Nourishing Destiny: The Inner Tradition of Chinese Medicine, by Lonny S. Jarrett

    Transforming #1, by Ron Smothermon, M.D.

    Waking Up to What You Do: A Zen Practice for Meeting Every Situation with Intelligence and Compassion, by Diane Eshin Rizzo

    Yoga Body: Origins of Modern Posture Yoga, by Mark Singleton

    Influential books from my past

    The complete works of Carlos Castaneda, starting with The Teachings of Don Juan: A Yaqui Way of Knowledge

    Dune, by Frank Herbert

    Emptiness Dancing, by Adyashanti

    The Spiritual Dimension of the Enneagram: Nine Faces of the Soul, by Sandra Maitri

    Stranger in a Strange Land, by Robert A. Heinlein

    My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist’s Personal Journey, by Jill Bolte Taylor

    Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma: The Innate Capacity to Transform Overwhelming Experiences, by Peter A. Levine

    The Healing Triad: Your Liver…Your Lifeline, by Jack Tips

    Reference books

    Light on Yoga, by B.K.S. Iyengar

    Poems New and Collected, by Wislawa Szymborska

    The Subtle Body: An Encyclopedia of Your Energetic Anatomy, by Cyndi Dale

    Yoga: The Path to Holistic Health, by B.K.S. Iyengar

    12 states of attention

    Update: This post was originally written in 2010, and it’s now 2023. Some things have changed. I’ve met and taken several trainings with Nelson. He’s a crusty, lovable curmudgeon and very, very smart.

    You can find Nelson’s archived Navaching website here.

    You can get a new or used copy of his book The Structure of Delight on Amazon.

    If you’re a fan of Nelson Zink and in particular his work on peripheral vision and nightwalking, you might be interested in attending a nightwalking training in Taos, New Mexico, with Katie Raver. Details here.

    ~~~

    My most recent post, Refining Awareness, includes some instructions about using your vision to focus down to the pixel level, and then to open your vision and let everything come into your field of vision.

    These activities are based on a set of exercises called the 12 states of attention that I learned about and practiced and taught, so that now I seem to have internalized them enough that I don’t consciously think about it.

    The three main senses we use are seeing, hearing, and feeling, or visual, auditory, and kinesthetic. NLP 101.

    Each of these senses can be experienced externally and internally. For example, I can see the computer in front of me, and I can close my eyes and remember the image or imagine the computer morphing into a piano. That’s Visual External and Visual Internal (remembered and constructed).

    You can further expand your sensory acuity by practicing using each sense as broadly and as narrowly as possible. Hence, look at a pixel, then let everything come in. Those states are Visual External Narrow (VEN) and Visual External Broad (VEB).

    You can do this with hearing as well. You can focus on one sound in your environment (or in your memory or imagination), and you can focus on all the sounds.

    Same with kinesthetic awareness. Internal, external, narrow, broad.

    A man I’ve never met but who has been a teacher for me came up with the 12 states of attention. His name is Nelson Zink, and he’s got a pretty amazing website, Navaching. Click here to read about the 12 states of attention. He’s got a lot to say and says it well. (And check out his other pages. It’s pretty fascinating. I also do nightwalking. And read his book, The Structure of Delight.)

    The point is that through our conditioning, most of us come to favor some states and neglect others. If you enjoy having more resources, you can practice these states and gain awareness skills. You never have to be bored again, and you will reach more of your potential!

    So when I meditate and do a body scan, I may bring to awareness my skin, starting with my head and slowly going down my body to my foot, bringing each area into awareness (Kinesthetic External Narrow).

    Or I may attend to how my head, chest, and belly feel (Kinesthetic Internal Somewhere-Between-Narrow-and-Broad).

    When I do whole body awareness, I am using the Kinesthetic Internal/External Broad state of attention, including my energy field.

    (The convention is that the skin is the boundary between external and internal for the kinesthetic sense. But because my energy body radiates through my skin, my skin is a permeable boundary, and I’m sensing internally and externally at the same time.)

    The kinesthetic sense may actually be a lot of senses, including balance, knowing where my foot is in space, temperature, tactile, muscular, and so on. Emotions are usually classified as kinesthetic as well, since we feel them in the body.

    Anyway.

    Wisdom is a broad state, no matter whether we’re seeing the big picture, hearing the cosmic OM, or feeling connected to Source. Big Mind is a broad state, and that’s a skill gained from meditation.

    Check out Zink’s website and practice the exercises given, if you like. It will bring you gifts of knowing yourself and experiencing more of your full potential.