Category Archives: spirit

Byron Katie. Life as it is. 5,000 blog views.

Posted on by
Reply

On this 19th day of my 21-day gratitude challenge, I am very grateful that Friday and Saturday, I got to spend hours in an auditorium with Byron Katie and my friends Thomas and Val and a whole bunch of other people, watching Katie, as she’s called, working with several people who were troubled about something.

Katie’s technique is called The Work, and the way we worked was to fill out a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet (available online for free along with a lot of other resources) about a recurring stressful situation, something that reliably pushes our buttons. She encouraged us to be our meanest, pettiest selves when we filled out the worksheet.

Then she asks, or has us ask ourselves, four questions:

  1. Is it true? (yes or no)
  2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (yes or no)
  3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
  4. Who would you be without the thought?

Then you turn the thought around three ways and find three specific examples of how each turnaround is true for you in that situation. For example, if my thought is “I hate him,” the turnarounds would work like this:

  1. The first turnaround is to the self. “I hate me.” How do I treat myself hatefully?
  2. The second turnaround is to the other. “He hates me.” List ways he hates me.
  3. The third turnaround is the opposite. “I love him.” How do I love him?

So from an NLP perspective, she’s working at the belief level, and she’s helping people reframe their experiences and emotions and beliefs and even identities. She refers a lot to people’s internal images (but not voices). On an energy level, she’s helping people move from contraction to expansion.

On Saturday, her first guest onstage was an attractive, polished woman who had flown here from San Francisco. Her husband of 30 years cheated on her with “a 27-year-old Brazilian whore” while she (the wronged wife) was undergoing treatment for breast cancer.

Katie took this woman through the process. She realized that she had stopped loving her husband but was willing to live a charade, she knew he was lying to her, et cetera. It took her out of her victim story. She also got huge applause for getting here with her frequent flyer miles since her husband had denied her access to all of their bank accounts. This woman is resourceful!

In the turnaround, Katie asked the woman to say, “I’m a whore,” and the woman couldn’t get the word “whore” out.

The unflappable Katie said, “What the heck. I’m enlightened. I can say it for you. ‘I’m a whore.’ There.” Big laughs and applause.

Later she worked with a woman who was so distraught because her husband, a diabetic, wouldn’t take his meds that she herself was on medication.

Once again, I’m grateful I got to see Byron Katie do The Work in person. If anyone wants to play with me, ping me.

~~~

In this moment, I’m grateful for life as it is. That’s what enlightenment is. That’s what Zen teaches. That’s what we practice when sitting in meditation.

~~~

I’m grateful to those who read my blog. Today it looks like I will cross the threshold of 5,000 views! Thank you for reading my posts. Thanks for connecting. Thanks for commenting.

Day 18: The Work, moving with Mango, T-Mobile

Posted on by
Reply

Last night I saw a demonstration of Byron Katie doing The Work, which is basically a set of four questions designed to help people move away from the suffering of  the ego and toward openness of life as it is.

I am grateful for the opportunity to witness a master at work, in person.

She worked with two people last night. The first was a man who had driven 12 hours with his younger son because he believed his older son was no good and was destroying the family. He blamed his high blood pressure and other health issues on all the trouble this son had caused.

Yet from the inquiry process, we learn that although this son moved out right before high school graduation, he graduated with honors. We hear that he tells people with no idea it would get back to his dad how great his upbringing was. He kisses his father on the head when his father extends his hand for a shake. This young man is responsible — he works and takes care of his bride.

So this father underwent a transformation, understanding that his thinking distorted reality. He had a fine son. It was him who needed to respect himself and respect his son. That’s the turnaround.

The other demo subject was a woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness, ALS (Lou Gehrig’s Disease). She felt afraid and panicky sometimes. Byron Katie just laughed and said, “Haven’t we all? Isn’t life a terminal illness?” She proceeded to illustrate that even being paralyzed and unable to move a muscle, it’s still thoughts that make one unhappy.

I’m looking forward to more today — from 10 to 5.

~~~

I’m grateful to Val at dinner last night for giving me some advice about moving Mango, my cat. He’s accustomed to this neighborhood and the cats on my block. The move will take him from what he knows, except for me and some of my stuff. His world is small and personal. He doesn’t have the internet or a cell phone to stay in touch with his friend Stinky next door (even though they fight).

I’ll need to keep him inside for a while after I move, so he’ll be safe and secure, and I can start now getting him used to being in and sleeping in the cat carrier.

~~~

I am grateful to T-Mobile for letting me change my cell phone plan and apply it retroactively. Because of all the calls from realtors and calls about work and in general an increase in call volume since I have not been working, I had gone way over my allotment of minutes. Snapped to when I saw how much had been drafted from my checking account to auto-pay the bill…

I found it very kind and flexible of them to allow me to switch to a plan with more minutes and to make the change retroactive for this billing period. I was facing a bill of over $400! Now it will be more like $60.

Thank you, T-Mobile.

Job interview. Insights. Shared dreams.

Posted on by
Reply

Today I am feeling grateful for the job interview I had yesterday. I interviewed for a three-month contract job at a big technology company yesterday.

The feedback I got from the placement agency connection afterward was that (1) I was the last person they talked to (always a good thing when interviewing because you’re fresh in their memory when they are making the hiring decision) and (2) they really liked me and my writing sample, concluding that I was capable of doing the work and would be a pleasure to work with. Apparently others they interviewed had the skills but not the attitude.

I hope to be offered this job.

My strategy during the interview was to understand their point of view and how I can do what they need to have done. I grasped it well: a custom software provider didn’t provide them with a user manual, and they needed this manual three months ago. This happens more often than it should, but that creates nice lucrative short-term job opportunities for technical writers like me.

So I step in, document what they’ve been able to figure out so far, and working with this big company’s IT department and the software developers in California, figure out and write procedures for how to do everything else.

This is how a Maximizer thinks:

  • I suggested that the user manual I write could be desirable to the software provider, and that they use that in future negotiations with the software provider.
  • This software provider might consider hiring me to work remotely and produce user manuals for their custom software solutions.
  • I might get a gig at this big technology company teaching lunchtime or after-work yoga. It’s a lot more fun than technical writing!

Will let you know what I hear!

~~~

I am grateful for insights, those little snippets of emerging knowledge that help me evolve. I’ve been thinking a lot recently about my future work, refining my ideas about what I’ll do and the training I need.

Last night two alliterative words came to mind about the work I want to do with people. Blockages and beliefs.

You know the beautiful energy that infants, toddlers, and young children have, so open-hearted, present, playful, engaged, and full of life? We lose that — in essence, life teaches us that it’s not okay to be like that. We make painful trade-offs and then suppress the memories. These unconscious beliefs and blockages keep us in bondage, keep us from REALizing that our true nature is full of light, just like those beaming babies

I would like to help people recover that beautiful life-affirming energy in two ways: by learning the bodywork skills to help people release their blockages (because blockages are in the bodymind and often more accessible via the body) and working with people at the belief level to let go of beliefs that keep them in darkness and help them open up to life itself.

These two words, blockages and beliefs, are helping me identify the training I need to do the bodymindheartspirit work I want to do.

I’m thanking my bodymindheartspirit for letting those two words bubble up into my conscious mind.

~~~

I’m grateful for shared dreams. Yesterday I was introduced by a mutual friend to someone on Facebook who shares my interest in vintage trailers. I have ogled them online for months now. My new friend goes to the same websites I do and ogles the same trailers, plus ones I hadn’t considered!

A couple of days ago, I did an NLP session with a new friend, again someone I met on Facebook and looked forward to meeting in person. We had a nice long session over tea, with my cat curling up with each of us in turn.

From my perspective, we hit it off well. The rapport was good. I like this person and am learning a lot from working with him. I believe that I am helping him refine his thinking and hone his positive energy for moving in a whole new direction career-wise.

Here’s to two new friendships! Salud!

Finding your inner bigness. Jedi master Keith Fail. Awareness.

Posted on by
Reply

Today I’m grateful for finding inner bigness — hope, recovery, resiliency, growth — for those energies that move a contraction into expansion, that move a loss into new possibilities.

If you have experienced a recent contraction — a disappointment or loss, say — know that if you give it some space, some energy within you will find a way to expand. To give it some space means to accept that what you planned has been replaced by the unknown. To allow the unknown to come into awareness — and not fight it or run from it with distractions or denial — is to open to possibility.

That moment may be uncomfortable, though. Breathe into it.

Expansion may come in the form of you learning a new and needed skill that gives you more confidence about managing your life.

Or it may come in the form of a new recognition about who you really are and what your life’s purpose is.

Today I recognize this pattern in my life, and I share it with those who need it.

~~~

Today I’m grateful for people who inspire, and I want to call one out in particular. Keith Fail presented last night at the Austin NLP meetup on the topic Living a Meaningful Life in 2011. Keith has studied NLP for 25 years with some of the best masters available. He coaches, teaches, and trains people with NLP. He is the most widely read person in the field that I’ve met, with a very inclusive yet discerning mindset. NLP is his life’s work.

Plus, he’s secretly a Jedi master. I’m convinced! Meet him and see for yourself.

Basing his presentation on the assumption that people want to be happy, and using current research on what makes people happy, Keith asked key questions to elicit in each attendee more clarity about what gives meaning to their lives and therefore brings happiness.

I recognize that I am undergoing a sea change in my life purpose and values, and my conscious mind is the last to know! These changes start deep within the unconscious, and are really just starting to take shape consciously about living my life’s purpose. I’ll be writing more as it becomes clear to me.

Thank you, Keith, for the value you’ve added to my life, and for being a friend and Jedi master.

~~~

I’m grateful for awareness. The faculty of awareness, and specific instances of awareness. Awareness allows me to recognize gratitude.

After I meditate, I get up and then bow to my empty zafu. It serves as a symbol and location for my experience of awareness.

Thank you.

Day 14: Being a mad scientist, having a wise realtor, leaving home

Posted on by
Reply

We’re two-thirds of the way through the 21-day gratitude challenge!

I’m grateful for the “mad scientist” aspect of my personality.

I’m happily dreaming up and promoting the next challenge, a two-month experiment in doing the trauma releasing exercises.

I’m an Aquarius, born Feb. 7. That sign suits me. (If the “new astrology” is real, I’d be a Capricorn, which doesn’t suit me.) I like experimenting and learning!

I have no idea if anyone will follow me, but I’m willing to be the “lone nut”. (Most Aquarians are.)

That lone nut reference is to a video about leadership lessons from dancing, which you can view here. Are you willing to be a first follower?

I’m grateful for the wise advice of my realtor, who told me not to meet with the buyer of my house until closing. Yesterday I did meet him, but we didn’t converse. His realtor, his inspector, a foundation repairman, and he all came by yesterday to move ahead with his plans for buying and remodeling the house.

I wondered about that advice, and then I realized how emotional it is to sell my home in which I’ve lived 10 years of my life.

It’s the end of an era, not just of the house, but in my life.

The buyer and I will close and I hope we’ll spend some time hanging out. I can tell him about the plants and what I would have done if I had remodeled.

I’m grateful for the 10 years in which this house has provided me a home. So much has happened in those 10 years: The jobs I’ve had that paid the mortgage and bills, the times I’ve been unemployed, the people who have lived or stayed here with me at various times, the work I’ve done and have had others do, the heartbreaks and disappointments, the fun, the moments of joy, the moments of incredible stillness and peace and bliss…

The me of 10 years ago didn’t know herself (or like herself) nearly as much as I do now.

This house is where I recovered from my major childhood trauma, and where I got present in my life and truly acknowledged from the depths of my being how lucky I am to have a community of friends and family.

The guests I’ve had!!!

The yoga I’ve done!!!

The meals I’ve cooked!!!

I’ll be blogging more about my gratitude for this house and the past 10 years over the next week.

An open invitation to join an experiment in well-being

Posted on by
Reply

A reader, Martie in South Africa, commented on an older post, Holotropic breathwork compared to trauma releasing exercises, and said:

I first heard about TRE last year Sept. Since then I have bought the book “The Revolutionary Trauma Release Process: Transcend Your Toughest Times” by David Berceli; spend hours and weeks on the internet reading up as much as I can (actually the info is few and far between and quite hard to find!). I have met up with other people who have done the course, and we have swapped some stories and experiences. I would like to learn as much as I can about this process ;-) . Sadly I think the course prices are way over priced (for my budget anyway), so I am going the DIY route.

I invited Martie to participate in the Chronic Stress and Trauma Recovery Challenge that starts Feb. 2, which I announced yesterday on this blog.

And now I’m inviting you. Here are the criteria for participating:

  • you want to enhance your well-being
  • you’ve been under prolonged stress at some point in your life
  • you’ve experienced trauma at some point in your life
  • you like discovering what really works
  • you’d like to contribute to the body of knowledge about a technique designed to help people recover from trauma by releasing it from their bodies
  • you’re interested in finding out if this technique works for releasing chronic stress

If any of those criteria inspire you, please consider participating for any or all of this challenge. You can’t do it wrong! I’m doing it a certain way, but anyone who does these exercises even once is welcome to participate and comment on your experience.

I’m trying to build a body of knowledge here, because as Martie and many others and I have found, there’s not a lot of anecdotal information available in one place about using this technique to release trauma and stress and improve well-being. It holds great promise, if you can imagine a world where no one is overly or chronically stressed or traumatized.

All it costs is the price of the book or video, you doing the exercises at least once (but hopefully several times or even as often as I do) in February and March, and reporting on your experience in the comments on this blog.

When it’s over, I’ll compile all our experiences into one long, organized blog post (or maybe a page) that anyone can find when they google “trauma releasing exercises”.

Announcing the Chronic Stress and Trauma Recovery Challenge

Posted on by
1

On February 2, after completing the 21-day gratitude challenge, I am starting a new challenge, the Chronic Stress and Trauma Recovery Challenge.

One topic that consistently draws people to this blog is David Berceli’s trauma releasing exercises, as described in his book, The Revolutionary Trauma Release Process: Transcend Your Toughest Times, and seen in his video, Trauma Releasing Exercises Step by Step Video Instruction and Demonstration.

I’ve posted about them several times and done them at least a dozen times.They aren’t hard to learn or do — you just have to be able-bodied.

Although I have experienced trauma in my distant past, my take on these exercises is that they are very helpful for releasing chronic stress, which is much more common than trauma in today’s world.

It’s been estimated that as many as 90 percent of doctor’s visits are for problems related to stress. So let’s do something to decrease stress!

Besides, I need to do these exercises consistently, and I want to make it fun and useful for others, so I’m inviting you to join me in creating an online resource of anecdotal reports about the effects of doing these exercises. I would love to have your input!

  • Ever had a job you disliked or got burned out on and couldn’t just leave because of your mortgage/insurance/retirement? That’s chronic stress.
  • Ever had a difficult colleague/customer/boss/partner who seemingly loved to make your life miserable, whom you couldn’t just tell off because you’d get fired/dumped? That’s chronic stress.
  • Ever tried to work and take care of your spouse, kids, and aging parents, putting yourself last? And throw in a difficult commute or special-needs family member? That’s chronic stress.
  • Ever been consumed with worry, so that your health suffered? That’s chronic stress.

Ask yourself this:

How relaxed am I?

Is relaxation a distant memory?

Is relaxation something I only experience with alcohol or an expensive vacation or pharmaceuticals?

What can I do to release tension from my body in a healthy way?

Do I do this often enough to experience life for most of every day in a relaxed state?

If any of these questions hit home, please consider participating in this challenge. Your participation doesn’t have to exactly match mine. Do what you can, and I’d love to hear about your experience.

Trauma recovery experimenters are welcome to take part and report too. That is what this process is designed for.

Here’s how the challenge works (and if I am the only one, I will happily be the lone nut curious enough to do this and learn something useful to share):

  1. If you don’t have the book or video, order them now. The links above will take you to Amazon.com.
  2. On February 2, do the exercises. They take 20-30 minutes. I’ll be doing them and reporting here, and you can share your experience in the comments.
  3. For the rest of February, do the exercises on even-numbered days. Report as needed.
  4. In March, do them twice a week on your own schedule. Report significant changes in the comments.
  5. At the end of March, notice what has changed in your body, attitude, sense of well-being, emotions, vices, and other aspects of your life that may be attributable to doing these exercises and letting go of stress. Share in the comments!
  6. Learn to recognize what your unstressed body feels like and what the signals are that you need to do the exercises. This is a skill.

That’s it! This is qualitative research, health and well-being improvement, and community service, folks. I’d love to receive and share your contributions. Maybe we can make the world a better place while benefitting ourselves!

Any questions before we start? Feel free to email me at mareynolds27 at gmail dot com.

Meta position. Metta Sutra. A good night’s sleep.

Posted on by
Reply

Several friends of mine have been experiencing relationship troubles lately, and I’ve felt an impact myself. Surprise, anger, sorrow, disappointment, empathy, compassion for all. I am still feeling some heaviness about this.

I’ve struggled to comprehend, to see the situation from each person’s point of view, to see where I was attached to things as they were, to understand the differences in values that created the conflicts, to accept what happened, to advise well when asked, to let my emotions wash through me and move through it as cleanly and clearly as I know how.

From the NLP world comes the concept of meta position, which is a location outside a situation which enables you to see the situation from a broader perspective. Meta position has a degree of dissociation, of not taking it personally, but also extending compassion to all concerned. At least, that’s how I’ve learned it.

You can “go meta” with yourself on your own inner conflicts, processes, and interactions, and you can use it to see yourself and those you care about as you imagine God might perceive the situation in the fullness of time.

You know, the really big picture, using Big Mind.

Today I’m grateful for the concept and practice of meta position.

~~~

The Metta Sutra contains Buddha’s words on loving kindness, a quality cultivated by Buddhist practice. It’s not very long and it includes these well-known words:

May all beings be happy.

I’m grateful for the Buddha for giving us the Metta Sutra. Here’s the entire text.

The Metta Sutra

This is the work for those who are skilled and peaceful, who seek the good: May they be able and upright, straightforward, of gentle speech and not proud. May they be content and easily supported, unburdened with their senses calmed. May they be wise, not arrogant and without desire for the possessions of others. May they do nothing mean or that the wise would reprove.

May all beings be happy. May they live in safety and joy. All living beings, whether weak or strong, tall, stout, medium or short, seen or unseen, near or distant, born or to be born, may they all be happy.

Let no one deceive another or despise any being in any state, let none by anger or hatred wish harm to another. As a mother watches over her child, willing to risk her own life to protect her only child, so with a boundless heart should one cherish all living beings, suffusing the whole world with unobstructed loving-kindness.

Standing or walking, sitting or lying down, during all one’s waking hours, may one remain mindful of this heart and this way of living that is the best in the world. Unattached to speculations, views and sense desires, with clear vision, such a person will never be reborn in the cycles of suffering.

Click this link to view (and print, if you desire) this translation of the Metta Sutra.

~~~

I’ve spent many years of my life taking a good night’s sleep for granted. When you aren’t sleeping well, it affects your entire sense of well-being. I’ve gone through periods like that, and it was such a relief when I slept well again.

These days I occasionally have nights where my sleep is disturbed. Last night I slept soundly and woke feeling deeply rested and ready for the day, and for that, I am most grateful.

Day 10: Tim Ferriss and The 4-Hour Body. I love teaching yoga. YES!

Posted on by
Reply

The three things I’m grateful for today (day 10 of 21) are: Tim Ferriss, teaching yoga, and the word YES.

If you don’t know Tim Ferriss, you should. He wrote a groundbreaking book called The 4-Hour Work Week, which was a huge bestseller. He shared how people can get out of the rat race of working long hours for someone else and find a new lifestyle where the work is mostly remote and delegated.

Tim chose to travel, learn tango, compete in martial arts contests, and write a bestseller after setting up a health supplement company that practically ran on autopilot, which allowed him the time and income to do those things.

I haven’t followed his formula, but it inspired me to come up with a business idea that I could do anywhere I have access to a phone for a few hours a day, with fairly low start-up costs. I may do it yet, so it’s a secret!

What I love about Tim is his plain ol’ brashness. He’s incredibly curious and likes to find out for himself. He’s a pioneer, an explorer, an adventurer, a seeker, a finder, and a sharer. He’s got the energy of a barrel of laughing monkeys. What’s not to like?

He blogs about his experiments in lifestyle design, too.

Tim is back with a new book, The 4-Hour Body. I’ve just started reading it, and I can tell you now, I will learn a lot from it. With access to doctors, scientists, elite athletes, and state-of-the-art measuring equipment for his own personal experimentation, Tim has hacked the secrets to losing weight, gaining muscle, sleeping well, increasing testosterone and sperm count, running faster, reversing “permanent” injuries, and having 15-minute orgasms. So the cover says, anyway!

He shows you how to make tiny changes, starting from where you are now, that are the most effective changes. His key question is:

For all things physical, what are the tiniest changes that produce the biggest results?

(No wonder this appeals to me: It’s a Maximizer strategy. See my earlier post about finding your strengths.)

I love key questions and will blog about them in the future.

I peeked ahead to see how to lose 20 lbs in 30 days. His formula is:

  • Avoid “white” carbohydrates (or anything that can be white).
  • Eat the same few meals over and over again.
  • Don’t drink calories.
  • Don’t eat fruit.
  • Take one day off per week and go nuts.

And then he gives the fine points.

(Can’t wait until he hacks enlightenment in his next book, The 4-Hour Brain. You listening, Tim?)

Another thing I’m grateful for is that I finally took yoga teacher training and am teaching yoga. It is so gratifying to help motivated people find their way into yoga. Whether they are beginners who want one-on-one personal attention and instruction as they learn, or just want to unwind from stress and experience some deep relaxation, I’m enjoying teaching.

At present, I have one class on Sunday evenings, a restorative class in Oak Hill, and I have a private student who comes to my home after work one evening each week. (Bonus: My cat Mango curled up on top of her during savasana this week! He knows where the good juicy energy is.)

I’d like to teach more. My rates are very reasonable. Private classes are $25 an hour now, and group classes are $10 for 60 minutes, $15 for 90 minutes. If you want a trial session, call me.

You can read more on my Yoga offerings page on this blog.

I am grateful for the word YES. I’ve been getting some very nice YESes in my life lately. Two offers on my house this week, one of which I am getting ready to say YES to — and some folks who were looking at it last night loved it too. Affirmation!

Oh, and according to Patrice,

No is just another way of saying Yes.

So basically, it’s all Yes!

Having options is the antidote to anxiety, two offers on my house, three work possibilities

Posted on by
1

Monday night I didn’t sleep well. My mind was restless with anxiety about selling my house (the fat lady only sings when you actually close), finances, transitioning to new work, the uncertainties of the future.

I discovered that coming up with options is a great antidote to anxiety, and I am full of gratitude for making that connection. The antidote to anxiety is having options. I realized I could seek contract work (and indeed felt some urgency about doing so), and I also realized I could get a roommate (or two) in this nice old East Austin house while it’s on the market.

Today, Thursday, I am grateful that I have two offers on my house. Both of them are in the ballpark of what I’m asking. I feel good that one of them will come through.

I’ve had to come down twice on my asking price. It’s a buyer’s market, and buyers are skittish about interest rates and the economy.

My net will be less than I expected, and I don’t want to deplete my savings. I fear being broke, and the antidote is…having options.

So…Tuesday and Wednesday I spent time updating my resume and getting it to recruiters. It’s been six years since I’ve looked for work as a technical writer. A lot has changed. Facebook, WordPress, LinkedIn, Twitter: the social media didn’t exist. Some software has gone away — PageMaker, anyone? I felt like I could benefit from a crash course in writing a resume for today’s job market.

I needn’t have worried.

It was gratifying to hear this morning from a recruiter that I come across as a solid writer, and that she has three good possibilities for me, working three or six month contracts at three well-known technology companies as a technical writer.

I think contracting is the way to go for me, to have a good income and be able to take the training I want in between contracts!

I continue to draw people and myself toward more well-being as I transition to offering this joyful service full time, earning more than enough to live on.