21-day gratitude challenge starts tomorrow

A recent NLP explorer wanted to experience more gratitude in his life. That’s been inspiring to me, too. Who among us doesn’t want that? Gratitude feels good!

So I’ve been reading about gratitude. According to Wikipedia, gratitude is:

a positive emotion or attitude in acknowledgment of a benefit that one has received or will receive

People feel the emotion of gratitude after they have received help when the help is perceived as valuable to them, costly to the benefactor, and well-intended by the benefactor. However, people who experience more gratitude in life habitually interpret help as more valuable, costly, and well-intended.

Therefore, gratitude is a habitual bias. And you know what that means. You can develop habits. It takes three weeks to cultivate a new habit.

And so… ta da! I am inspired to cultivate more gratitude in my life. Starting tomorrow, January 12, and ending on February 1, every day I will write down three things I’m grateful for that day and why I’m grateful for them.

You are welcome to join me in this challenge — for all of it or any days you want to participate. Feel free to use the Comments feature on this blog or to respond on Facebook — whatever works for you.

Each day, I’ll also include links to good stuff I find on the Interwebs about gratitude.

If you need more motivation, consider this, from Wikipedia:

A large body of recent work has suggested that people who are more grateful have higher levels of well-being. Grateful people are happier, less depressed, less stressed, and more satisfied with their lives and social relationships. Grateful people also have higher levels of control of their environments, personal growth, purpose in life, and self acceptance. Grateful people have more positive ways of coping with the difficulties they experience in life, being more likely to seek support from other people, reinterpreted and grow from the experience, and spend more time planning how to deal with the problem.  Grateful people also have less negative coping strategies, being less likely to try to avoid the problem, deny there is a problem, blame themselves, or cope through substance use. Grateful people sleep better, and this seems to be because they think less negative and more positive thoughts just before going to sleep.

Could you use some more of that in your life? If so, join me!

Shiva Rea and the Krishnamacharya lineages

I attended a yoga workshop yesterday led by Shiva Rea. Even if you don’t do yoga, you may have seen her videos. She’s definitely a rock star in American yoga! She’s studied yoga in India, and she’s incorporated music and dance into yoga, in effect making it a larger part of American popular culture. She’s learned, excellent, and a lot of fun!

Even before I took yoga teacher training, I was aware that two major styles of yoga, Ashtanga and Iyengar, were developed by men who studied with the same yoga teacher. I was curious about how that came to be. I wanted to know more about T. Krishnamacharya, the teacher of both K. Pattabhi Jois and B.K.S. Iyengar.

I read The Heart of Yoga: Developing a Personal Practice, by Krishnamacharya’s son, T.K.V. Desikachar, and Krishnamacharya: His Life and Teachings, by A.G. Mohan with Ganesh Mohan, both of which shed light on Krishnamacharya’s life, especially his later years when they were studying with him. (Krishnamacharya was over 100 when he died in 1989.)

I also got The Complete Book of Vinyasa Yoga, by Srivatsa Ramaswami, another one of Krishnamacharya’s late-in-life students. I intend to start practicing vinyasa kramas.

It’s my understanding that Shiva Rea has gone to India and studied yoga with each of these men who studied yoga with Krishnamacharya during his later years, when his teaching and philosophy had matured from life experience. Her yoga is about the fluid body, and she incorporates a lot of Sanskrit (the original language of yoga) concepts into her teachings. I’m grateful to Shiva for this; makes me want to dive deeper.

Here’s a brief summary of Krishnamacharya’s life and his early and late lineages. Even if you’re not interested in yoga, he was an extraordinary person who led an extraordinary life.

Krishnamacharya was interested in yoga from childhood and had an ancestor who had written about yoga. This was when India was a British colony, and some parts of Indian culture, including yoga (asanas) were in danger of being lost.

Krishnamacharya learned asanas from his father and from an early age began “collecting” asanas, which were only practiced in obscure places because the practice of yoga was dying out. He eventually traveled all over India, even into Afghanistan, collecting asanas, and after university (where he studied all the Indian philosophies), he went to Tibet and lived for seven years with a yoga teacher. This teacher, Brahmachari,  about whom little is known, taught Krishnmacharya yoga (all eight limbs, not just asana) and how to use it therapeutically, and then told him to return to India, marry, and teach yoga.

Krishnamacharya was primarily responsible for the revival of yoga in India and its subsequent spread around the world.

Krishnamacharya taught yoga to Iyengar and Jois when they were adolescents at his yoga school in Mysore. Krishnamacharya was known for adapting yoga to the student’s needs, so he taught them yoga for young, flexible bodies. These two teachers come from the early Krishnamacharya lineage.

Iyengar, even though he was Krishnamacharya’s nephew, received less instruction than Jois did. He had moved in with his aunt and uncle as a sickly teenager and hung around the yoga classes and did chores. When a star student who was supposed to demonstrate some advanced poses in public failed to show up, Krishnamacharya had Iyengar do the demo. Iyengar did well — doing yoga had improved his health.

Before long, Krishnamacharya sent him out on his own to teach yoga — but not before pushing him into hanumanasana (splits), which Iyengar had never done before, tearing his hamstrings. From this, it seems apparent that in his early years of teaching, Krishnamacharya was quite demanding, tough, and arrogant. (I’ve heard that Iyengar has injured students as well. I’m happy to see yoga teaching evolve completely away from using force.)

Cut off from his teacher, Iyengar continued to teach himself yoga as he was developing his teaching practice. He focusing more on holding poses in alignment, whereas Jois taught what Krishnamacharya had taught him and called it Ashtanga. This is how the fluid Ashtanga and the more static Iyengar styles of yoga came into the world through two students of the same teacher.

When India became independent, the yoga school in Mysore shut down, and Krishnamacharya moved his family to Chennai and taught yoga there. In this later period of his yoga teaching career, while still teaching the vinyasa style of doing asanas, he put more emphasis on using yoga therapeutically and indeed was known more as a healer than as a yoga teacher in Chennai. He no longer taught large classes of students. He preferred to work with students one on one. He taught asanas, pranayama, various Hindu and Vedic philosophies and texts, and chanting and other devotional practices, but only if students were sincere.

This is where he taught A.G. Mohan, Srivatsa Ramaswami, and his own son, Desikachar. Krishnamacharya had lost some of his arrogance with age. He himself was a very disciplined, serious, competent person. In his early career, he expected his students and family to practice as he did. In his later career, he let them go their own way. He still expected his students to be dedicated and to do a high quality of work.

Sadly, Krishnamacharya did not live to see that millions of people have benefitted from his life’s work. He was a highly devoted spiritual practitioner, and that was the primary focus of his life. Yoga was the vehicle. He was highly educated, acquiring six university degrees, attesting to his brilliance. He studied the yoga philosophy, but unlike his teachers, he went to the Himalayas in search of a practice. He didn’t just practice yoga or teach, he was yoga.

How not working ain’t what I thought it would be

Stress is the perversion of time. ~ John O’Donohue

Since leaving full-time employment at the beginning of December, I’ve struggled with how to structure my days. This is the first post on how that’s going for me.

Every full-time employee dreams of being able to call her time her own rather than trying to squeeze her life into and around the 40-hour, Monday through Friday workweek.

When I was working, I dreamed of owning my time, of getting up when my body was ready to get up instead of when the alarm woke me. I dreamed of doing yoga and meditation each morning before a leisurely breakfast and then working productively on my writing, meeting friends for lunch, going for walks, taking or teaching the occasional yoga class, taking my laptop to a coffeehouse for a chai and wi-fi just to get out of the house. In the evenings I’d read or watch movies, cook, have friends over, and occasionally go out.

Well. That was the ideal, not what was real. It’s been more of a struggle than I anticipated.

I had just put my house on the market before leaving my job, so I’d already done a lot of downsizing and cleaning. My goal was to get the house listed by the end of November, which happened. Yay, I reached my goal!

But to reach it, I had stuffed a large pile of papers (mail, bills, receipts, papers I had no idea what to do with but couldn’t just recycle) into a cardboard box and stuck it on a shelf in my study to make the house look tidy for prospective buyers.

(I feel compelled to explain that I am messy by nature. I like being able to see things, having them out in full view. Staging is the antithesis of that. You make your house look impersonal. You take down all your photos and get rid of your clutter. You start living in a house that doesn’t feel like your house. It feels like somebody else’s house — somebody who lives in a magazine.)

It took a few days to get around to that box of papers after my job ended. The first weekend I spent as an assistant at NLP training. The second weekend I participated in an Evolutionary NLP workshop. In between, I’m happy to say, I did get that pile of papers sorted and filed.

And there was the excitement of being contacted about possibly being on a TV show, Sell This House. Ultimately, my house wasn’t chosen, and I don’t know whether to feel sorry or relieved about that. All this during December, with holiday events and parties and activities galore.

For Sale

The other thing that brought my dream schedule down to earth was showing the house. Realtors would call about showing it to prospective buyers either later that day or the next, and I would need to clean up and leave, usually right before they arrived.

I’ve got this down to a quick routine 5 weeks later, but it took awhile to learn to tidy one room at a time.

  • In the kitchen, wash the dishes, dry them, and put them away. Then clean the sinks, countertops, and stove top. Eyeball the room for anything out of place.
  • Take my caddy of toiletries out of my small bathroom and hide it in the laundry room. (This is so people can imagine their stuff in my bathroom!) Eyeball the room for anything out of place.
  • Shove my desktop-type clutter of calendars and bills and receipts and magazines into a basket and stick it on the shelf in my study. (See, I learned well and upgraded from a box to a basket!) Eyeball the room for anything out of place.
  • Check that my bed is neatly made and dirty clothes in the basket, preferably not with my underwear on top. Eyeball the room for anything out of place.
  • In the yoga/meditation studio (formerly the second bedroom), roll up my yoga mat and put my foam roller away. Eyeball the room for anything out of place — except I decided that people need to see that yoga mat and foam roller out and being used. Seeing these items out makes them (that is, me) feel good.
  • Make sure the house smells nice. Clean the cat’s litter box and sweep up around it. Take out the trash and recycling. Upend the fragrance sticks in the entry hall to diffuse the aroma.
  • Eyeball the entire house, porch, and yard for anything out of place.
  • Leave. Don’t come back for at least an hour.

Sometimes there are two or even three showings a day. I’ve done so much housekeeping in the last five weeks, I could become a maid.

The truth is, I appreciate my new habits very much. I enjoy living in a clean, tidy, spacious, decluttered house. It feels very Zen.

And now it’s January 8, and I still haven’t settled into the kind of structure I imagined. I go to bed later and get up later. When I do get up, why, sometimes I get sucked right into my laptop (Facebook, email, and blog stats are like crack) before I’ve done any yoga or meditation, and the next thing I know, it’s 10 am and I haven’t brushed my teeth yet. And then a realtor calls and wants to show it at 11….

I want to do better than this.

Finding your strengths = following your bliss

Since January is usually a time when people think about the coming year and what they’d like to change in their lives (or what they’d like to be experiencing by the end of this year), it seems like the perfect month to write about finding your strengths.

First, an aside about strategies to enjoy life and be successful. Some of us have learned that we need to develop our weaknesses in order to be successful.

You should be more whatever.

How do you feel when someone says that to you? What is presupposed here?

Now try this on:

Wow, you are really great at whatever!

How do you feel? What’s the difference?  Which statement is more motivating? Inspiring?

On the whole, it is more joyful and productive to build on your strengths. People who do what they’re good at and like doing are more engaged in their work and have a higher quality of life.

Last year I learned about a book called Strengths Finder 2.0 by Tom Rath. This book is a Wall Street Journal bestseller, but it has wide applications, not just business.

By the way, only buy the book new, not used, for reasons given below. It’s currently $10.61 on Amazon.com. Click the link above to view and order. The full retail price is $24.95.

Background in brief: For 40 years, the Gallup Poll people have studied human strengths. A couple of guys narrowed them down to 34 different strengths and developed an assessment to help people find their strengths. That’s the basis of Strengths Finder 2.0.

A new copy of the book has an access code at the back to take the assessment online. I took it and received a summary that lists my top five strengths in order, applications for each strength, and quotes from real people who share my top five strengths.

These are my top five strengths in order:

  1. Maximizer (by the way, this book appeals to Maximizers )
  2. Adaptability
  3. Relator
  4. Activator
  5. Futuristic

One note: On some of the questions, I felt that I might answer one way today, a different way tomorrow. I pretty much sped through it, which is encouraged. It would be interesting to take the assessment once a year for several years to see how much my top five strengths change or remain the same.

Now a little about my strengths:

  • Maximizer means I measure myself by excellence. I polish the pearl until it shines. Others see me as discriminating. I’m attracted to people who have found and cultivated their strengths [and who want to find and cultivate them].
  • Adaptability means I live in the present. The future isn’t fixed but a place I create out of choices I make now. I don’t resent sudden requests or unforeseen detours for long — I expect them and at some level look forward to them.
  • Relator means I’m attracted to people I already know and want to get to know them better. I don’t shy away from new people, but I do get a lot of pleasure from being around my friends. If you don’t know me, don’t let this scare you. Every friend was once a stranger who came into my life.
  • Activator is about doing. Only action makes things happen. Once a decision is made, I cannot not act. I believe that action is the best device for learning. I put myself out there and take the next step.
  • Futuristic is about seeing possibilities, which pulls me forward. I am fascinated by the direction of energy from the past through the present into the future. Futuristic initially seemed to conflict with Adaptability, but I think having these two in my top five strengths as well as Activator means I like manifesting, actualizing, realizing.

Based on these five strengths, my mission statement is:

I am passionate about manifesting excellence with my friends.

I like it!

    Wake up!

    Aside

    from East Side Art photos

    Let’s get this party started! Free NLP sessions to get you unstuck!

    I’ve been having a lot of fun lately doing NLP sessions with people I know. Since a lot of people are confused or intimidated about what NLP is, I’m offering a special, time-limited offer for the next week, until January 12, 2011.

    If you are feeling stuck in some aspect of your life — moving ahead with a project, making a decision — and you are ready for some movement or maybe even a breakthrough, email me at the address on the Contact page.

    We’ll seek a time to meet for an hour for an NLP coaching session (which is really just help getting unstuck).

    The first session is on me, and sometimes that’s all it takes, just one session to get unstuck. You can take it from there.

    In exchange, I ask that you either write a testimonial (can be anonymous to preserve confidentiality, and kindly convey any negative feedback in private) or give my business card to three people you encounter who are stuck and tired of it.

    I don’t know the answer. You do. And by the way, the best definition of NLP is this:

    NLP is what works.

    Playful Joy

    Aside


    Playful Joy 

    Early Dec. 2010, behind Metz Elementary, Austin, TX

    How do you experience and cultivate gratitude in your life?

    When do you feel gratitude, and what happens before it?

    It seems to me that there are two kinds of gratitude: the you-should-feel-grateful kind (because you have food to eat while the starving children of X don’t) and the kind where you actually feel grateful to be alive.

    One is imposed and is tinged with guilt, while the other arises from inside. I’m more interested in the latter.

    I’m thinking of George Bailey in It’s a Wonderful Life. He goes through an ordeal where he sees life as if he had never been born. He sees the people he knows, but no one recognizes him. Clarence the Angel shows George how the people of his town are worse off for not having known him. George is so miserable, he’s about ready to do away with himself, when…

    Watch George’s gratitude in this YouTube video.

    That’s some gratitude, huh? What’s your favorite movie depiction of gratitude?

    Many many years ago, during a crisis, I thought I was having a nervous breakdown. It seemed that life was closing in on me, and I did not have the resources to handle it.

    Then one day I realized the pressure had lessened. I was handling it to the best of my ability, and I wasn’t alone. Some of the weight lifted, and I felt tremendous gratitude.

    That gratitude was not just an attitude, but a deep reconnection with life as it is (was) that permeated my whole being. It was like being smitten with the present moment, and with everything that crossed my path. That gratitude had a large measure of joy in it.

    Yeah. That kind of gratitude. If you could bottle it up and sell it, you’d make a fortune.

    Do you cultivate gratitude in your life? I do. I can close my eyes and ask myself:

    What if I didn’t exist?

    When I open my eyes, I feel grateful. I am in the right place at the right time. I am here now in this brand new moment.

    I also believe that another side effect of sitting is that I experience more gratitude/joy. (Really, could you have one without the other? I think probably not.) Since sitting is really about fully getting present with yourself, I guess it’s not surprising. I just didn’t know that’s what sitting was all about when I started.

    How do you experience and cultivate gratitude in your life?

    The left brain right brain crossover

    A question arose the other day that I’m researching. We’ve all heard that the left hemisphere of the brain controls the right side of the body, and the right brain controls the left side of the body.

    Somewhere there is a crossover mechanism.

    Assuming the crossover is located somewhere in the brain, where in the brain does this crossover take place?

    I wondered if it specifically affected our eyes and ears. Is the left eye connected to the right hemisphere or the left hemisphere? Eyes and ears are so close to the brain and intimately connected to brain centers for processing images and sounds, I wondered if they were affected. Perhaps the crossover occurred beneath these brain centers…

    So I googled left brain right brain crossover.

    I found a site that explains how the eyes cross over. James Crook points out that when looking straight ahead, light from the right side of the visual field hits the left side of the retina in both eyes.

    So it’s not like each eye corresponds to one hemisphere, either left or right. Both eyes feed visual information to both hemispheres. Our eyes are on the front of our heads, and we see stereoscopically.

    The information from each eye comes together in the optic chiasma a few centimeters behind the eyes, where nerve bundles from each eye converge and then separate, going to the occipital lobe, so named because it’s near the occiput, the plate in the skull with a large hole through which the brain narrows into the spinal cord.

    That bone at the back of your head that sticks out the most? That’s your occiput, and your occipital lobe is just inside.

    In the optic chiasma, 45 percent of the nerve fibers from each eye cross over to the other side.

    Crook states:

    The two nerve trunks which leave the optic chiasma carry respectively signals from the left of each eye to the left, and from the right of each eye to the right. Because the image on the retina was left-right reversed, the nerve trunk traveling to the left side of the brain carries information about the right field of view, and the nerve trunk to the right carries information about the left field of view.

    Click the link above to view the image, and all will be clear!

    Elsewhere I read that the crossover from the body to the brain occurs where the nerves enter the brain. In other words, at or near the occiput.

    So there’s a crossover for the eyes (the optic chiasma) and a crossover for the body (somewhere near the occiput). I hadn’t suspected there were multiple crossovers!

    Now my left brain is tired! To be continued…

    New year, new blog look, seeking feedback

    Okay, I’ve decided to get better at this blogging thing I do. Not only have I changed the name, but I’ve also changed the look.

    Please tell me if you like it and how it could be better. Thanks!