Category Archives: gratitude

Day 18: The Work, moving with Mango, T-Mobile

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Last night I saw a demonstration of Byron Katie doing The Work, which is basically a set of four questions designed to help people move away from the suffering of  the ego and toward openness of life as it is.

I am grateful for the opportunity to witness a master at work, in person.

She worked with two people last night. The first was a man who had driven 12 hours with his younger son because he believed his older son was no good and was destroying the family. He blamed his high blood pressure and other health issues on all the trouble this son had caused.

Yet from the inquiry process, we learn that although this son moved out right before high school graduation, he graduated with honors. We hear that he tells people with no idea it would get back to his dad how great his upbringing was. He kisses his father on the head when his father extends his hand for a shake. This young man is responsible — he works and takes care of his bride.

So this father underwent a transformation, understanding that his thinking distorted reality. He had a fine son. It was him who needed to respect himself and respect his son. That’s the turnaround.

The other demo subject was a woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness, ALS (Lou Gehrig’s Disease). She felt afraid and panicky sometimes. Byron Katie just laughed and said, “Haven’t we all? Isn’t life a terminal illness?” She proceeded to illustrate that even being paralyzed and unable to move a muscle, it’s still thoughts that make one unhappy.

I’m looking forward to more today — from 10 to 5.

~~~

I’m grateful to Val at dinner last night for giving me some advice about moving Mango, my cat. He’s accustomed to this neighborhood and the cats on my block. The move will take him from what he knows, except for me and some of my stuff. His world is small and personal. He doesn’t have the internet or a cell phone to stay in touch with his friend Stinky next door (even though they fight).

I’ll need to keep him inside for a while after I move, so he’ll be safe and secure, and I can start now getting him used to being in and sleeping in the cat carrier.

~~~

I am grateful to T-Mobile for letting me change my cell phone plan and apply it retroactively. Because of all the calls from realtors and calls about work and in general an increase in call volume since I have not been working, I had gone way over my allotment of minutes. Snapped to when I saw how much had been drafted from my checking account to auto-pay the bill…

I found it very kind and flexible of them to allow me to switch to a plan with more minutes and to make the change retroactive for this billing period. I was facing a bill of over $400! Now it will be more like $60.

Thank you, T-Mobile.

Ordinary gratitudes: car, house, friends

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Today’s three gratitudes are pretty ordinary. My car, my house, my friends.

I’m grateful to have my car back. It’s been disabled or out of my possession since December 22 and has been at three different mechanic shops.

I took it back once because the dashboard warning light for the electric battery (it’s a Honda Civic Hybrid) was on. It  wasn’t on before the accident.

I did not get that issue resolved satisfactorily. The light is still on. However, the electric battery appears to be working just fine.

All Honda has said is that because of the age and mileage, I need to replace the battery. I get that State Farm really wants it to be my problem, not theirs, because those batteries are expensive.

I feel frustrated because I don’t believe that any of these mechanics actually laid eyes on the wiring and cabling from the engine compartment, which overheated, to the electric battery behind the back seat. All repairs are based on electronic testing and what’s in the database. If it’s not in the database, they’re not going out of their way.

Anyway, I am grateful to have my car back, to have the collision damage fixed, and to (so far) have it running well.

I’m grateful to have learned something about the way insurance companies work, when a car is a hybrid and they don’t have a ton of information in their database about what can go wrong and how to fix it.

This is the dark side of owning a hybrid.

~~~

The option period on my house contract expires today.

Yesterday the buyer tried to get me to come down $10 grand because of a ridiculously high overestimate on foundation work. My realtor told his realtor that I refused.

I’ve had two people express interest in being backup buyers, but they never put it in writing. If this deal had fallen through, I feel certain I could have gotten my asking price.

Today I agreed to come down $2600. That’s reasonable. A bird in hand is worth two in the bush — sometimes. In this process, several people have advised me to take low offers and to cave.

My realtor says we’re about eighty percent of the way to closing. Next, an appraiser has to state that the buyer is not paying more than the house is worth. Once that’s done, we’ll be ninety-five percent ready to close on Feb. 18.

Although I had no idea there would be so much drama involved in selling my house, today I’m grateful for the progress.

~~~

I had lunch today with my friend Katie, and my friend Thomas called and wants to go a weekend workshop that Byron Katie is doing in Austin tonight and tomorrow. I bought a ticket from someone who had an extra one, and it’s even more of a pleasure to be sharing this workshop experience with Thomas.

I’m very grateful for my friends.

Job interview. Insights. Shared dreams.

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Today I am feeling grateful for the job interview I had yesterday. I interviewed for a three-month contract job at a big technology company yesterday.

The feedback I got from the placement agency connection afterward was that (1) I was the last person they talked to (always a good thing when interviewing because you’re fresh in their memory when they are making the hiring decision) and (2) they really liked me and my writing sample, concluding that I was capable of doing the work and would be a pleasure to work with. Apparently others they interviewed had the skills but not the attitude.

I hope to be offered this job.

My strategy during the interview was to understand their point of view and how I can do what they need to have done. I grasped it well: a custom software provider didn’t provide them with a user manual, and they needed this manual three months ago. This happens more often than it should, but that creates nice lucrative short-term job opportunities for technical writers like me.

So I step in, document what they’ve been able to figure out so far, and working with this big company’s IT department and the software developers in California, figure out and write procedures for how to do everything else.

This is how a Maximizer thinks:

  • I suggested that the user manual I write could be desirable to the software provider, and that they use that in future negotiations with the software provider.
  • This software provider might consider hiring me to work remotely and produce user manuals for their custom software solutions.
  • I might get a gig at this big technology company teaching lunchtime or after-work yoga. It’s a lot more fun than technical writing!

Will let you know what I hear!

~~~

I am grateful for insights, those little snippets of emerging knowledge that help me evolve. I’ve been thinking a lot recently about my future work, refining my ideas about what I’ll do and the training I need.

Last night two alliterative words came to mind about the work I want to do with people. Blockages and beliefs.

You know the beautiful energy that infants, toddlers, and young children have, so open-hearted, present, playful, engaged, and full of life? We lose that — in essence, life teaches us that it’s not okay to be like that. We make painful trade-offs and then suppress the memories. These unconscious beliefs and blockages keep us in bondage, keep us from REALizing that our true nature is full of light, just like those beaming babies

I would like to help people recover that beautiful life-affirming energy in two ways: by learning the bodywork skills to help people release their blockages (because blockages are in the bodymind and often more accessible via the body) and working with people at the belief level to let go of beliefs that keep them in darkness and help them open up to life itself.

These two words, blockages and beliefs, are helping me identify the training I need to do the bodymindheartspirit work I want to do.

I’m thanking my bodymindheartspirit for letting those two words bubble up into my conscious mind.

~~~

I’m grateful for shared dreams. Yesterday I was introduced by a mutual friend to someone on Facebook who shares my interest in vintage trailers. I have ogled them online for months now. My new friend goes to the same websites I do and ogles the same trailers, plus ones I hadn’t considered!

A couple of days ago, I did an NLP session with a new friend, again someone I met on Facebook and looked forward to meeting in person. We had a nice long session over tea, with my cat curling up with each of us in turn.

From my perspective, we hit it off well. The rapport was good. I like this person and am learning a lot from working with him. I believe that I am helping him refine his thinking and hone his positive energy for moving in a whole new direction career-wise.

Here’s to two new friendships! Salud!

Finding your inner bigness. Jedi master Keith Fail. Awareness.

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Today I’m grateful for finding inner bigness — hope, recovery, resiliency, growth — for those energies that move a contraction into expansion, that move a loss into new possibilities.

If you have experienced a recent contraction — a disappointment or loss, say — know that if you give it some space, some energy within you will find a way to expand. To give it some space means to accept that what you planned has been replaced by the unknown. To allow the unknown to come into awareness — and not fight it or run from it with distractions or denial — is to open to possibility.

That moment may be uncomfortable, though. Breathe into it.

Expansion may come in the form of you learning a new and needed skill that gives you more confidence about managing your life.

Or it may come in the form of a new recognition about who you really are and what your life’s purpose is.

Today I recognize this pattern in my life, and I share it with those who need it.

~~~

Today I’m grateful for people who inspire, and I want to call one out in particular. Keith Fail presented last night at the Austin NLP meetup on the topic Living a Meaningful Life in 2011. Keith has studied NLP for 25 years with some of the best masters available. He coaches, teaches, and trains people with NLP. He is the most widely read person in the field that I’ve met, with a very inclusive yet discerning mindset. NLP is his life’s work.

Plus, he’s secretly a Jedi master. I’m convinced! Meet him and see for yourself.

Basing his presentation on the assumption that people want to be happy, and using current research on what makes people happy, Keith asked key questions to elicit in each attendee more clarity about what gives meaning to their lives and therefore brings happiness.

I recognize that I am undergoing a sea change in my life purpose and values, and my conscious mind is the last to know! These changes start deep within the unconscious, and are really just starting to take shape consciously about living my life’s purpose. I’ll be writing more as it becomes clear to me.

Thank you, Keith, for the value you’ve added to my life, and for being a friend and Jedi master.

~~~

I’m grateful for awareness. The faculty of awareness, and specific instances of awareness. Awareness allows me to recognize gratitude.

After I meditate, I get up and then bow to my empty zafu. It serves as a symbol and location for my experience of awareness.

Thank you.

Day 14: Being a mad scientist, having a wise realtor, leaving home

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We’re two-thirds of the way through the 21-day gratitude challenge!

I’m grateful for the “mad scientist” aspect of my personality.

I’m happily dreaming up and promoting the next challenge, a two-month experiment in doing the trauma releasing exercises.

I’m an Aquarius, born Feb. 7. That sign suits me. (If the “new astrology” is real, I’d be a Capricorn, which doesn’t suit me.) I like experimenting and learning!

I have no idea if anyone will follow me, but I’m willing to be the “lone nut”. (Most Aquarians are.)

That lone nut reference is to a video about leadership lessons from dancing, which you can view here. Are you willing to be a first follower?

I’m grateful for the wise advice of my realtor, who told me not to meet with the buyer of my house until closing. Yesterday I did meet him, but we didn’t converse. His realtor, his inspector, a foundation repairman, and he all came by yesterday to move ahead with his plans for buying and remodeling the house.

I wondered about that advice, and then I realized how emotional it is to sell my home in which I’ve lived 10 years of my life.

It’s the end of an era, not just of the house, but in my life.

The buyer and I will close and I hope we’ll spend some time hanging out. I can tell him about the plants and what I would have done if I had remodeled.

I’m grateful for the 10 years in which this house has provided me a home. So much has happened in those 10 years: The jobs I’ve had that paid the mortgage and bills, the times I’ve been unemployed, the people who have lived or stayed here with me at various times, the work I’ve done and have had others do, the heartbreaks and disappointments, the fun, the moments of joy, the moments of incredible stillness and peace and bliss…

The me of 10 years ago didn’t know herself (or like herself) nearly as much as I do now.

This house is where I recovered from my major childhood trauma, and where I got present in my life and truly acknowledged from the depths of my being how lucky I am to have a community of friends and family.

The guests I’ve had!!!

The yoga I’ve done!!!

The meals I’ve cooked!!!

I’ll be blogging more about my gratitude for this house and the past 10 years over the next week.

Meta position. Metta Sutra. A good night’s sleep.

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Several friends of mine have been experiencing relationship troubles lately, and I’ve felt an impact myself. Surprise, anger, sorrow, disappointment, empathy, compassion for all. I am still feeling some heaviness about this.

I’ve struggled to comprehend, to see the situation from each person’s point of view, to see where I was attached to things as they were, to understand the differences in values that created the conflicts, to accept what happened, to advise well when asked, to let my emotions wash through me and move through it as cleanly and clearly as I know how.

From the NLP world comes the concept of meta position, which is a location outside a situation which enables you to see the situation from a broader perspective. Meta position has a degree of dissociation, of not taking it personally, but also extending compassion to all concerned. At least, that’s how I’ve learned it.

You can “go meta” with yourself on your own inner conflicts, processes, and interactions, and you can use it to see yourself and those you care about as you imagine God might perceive the situation in the fullness of time.

You know, the really big picture, using Big Mind.

Today I’m grateful for the concept and practice of meta position.

~~~

The Metta Sutra contains Buddha’s words on loving kindness, a quality cultivated by Buddhist practice. It’s not very long and it includes these well-known words:

May all beings be happy.

I’m grateful for the Buddha for giving us the Metta Sutra. Here’s the entire text.

The Metta Sutra

This is the work for those who are skilled and peaceful, who seek the good: May they be able and upright, straightforward, of gentle speech and not proud. May they be content and easily supported, unburdened with their senses calmed. May they be wise, not arrogant and without desire for the possessions of others. May they do nothing mean or that the wise would reprove.

May all beings be happy. May they live in safety and joy. All living beings, whether weak or strong, tall, stout, medium or short, seen or unseen, near or distant, born or to be born, may they all be happy.

Let no one deceive another or despise any being in any state, let none by anger or hatred wish harm to another. As a mother watches over her child, willing to risk her own life to protect her only child, so with a boundless heart should one cherish all living beings, suffusing the whole world with unobstructed loving-kindness.

Standing or walking, sitting or lying down, during all one’s waking hours, may one remain mindful of this heart and this way of living that is the best in the world. Unattached to speculations, views and sense desires, with clear vision, such a person will never be reborn in the cycles of suffering.

Click this link to view (and print, if you desire) this translation of the Metta Sutra.

~~~

I’ve spent many years of my life taking a good night’s sleep for granted. When you aren’t sleeping well, it affects your entire sense of well-being. I’ve gone through periods like that, and it was such a relief when I slept well again.

These days I occasionally have nights where my sleep is disturbed. Last night I slept soundly and woke feeling deeply rested and ready for the day, and for that, I am most grateful.

Father and infant daughter, a new watch, pigeon pose

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This will be a quick post after a long and busy day.

Today I’m grateful that I saw Brannen Temple holding his tiny, one-month-old daughter Najwa, who was sound asleep on his forearm this morning when I dropped Hannah off.

They made a beautiful picture together that just enchanted me — the big man and the tiny baby.

The photo above of Brannen’s hands and Najwa’s feet was taken by Sarah Temple. Love this photo, Sarah!

I found a watch at Target this evening that’s exactly like my description a week ago of what I desired in a watch but had never seen! It has a large round silver analog watch face, big numbers, a second hand, and a skinny black leather band. Found it for only $9.99!

For this I am grateful. They are very handy when teaching restorative yoga. Thanks to Mary Jean for suggesting Target.

I’m also grateful tonight for eka pada rajakapotasana, one-legged king pigeon pose. It just feels so good! It’s nice to use bolsters and blankets and hold it long with forehead on floor as a passive, resting, restorative pose. Ahhhhh!

Thanks to Yoga Journal for the borrowed photo below.

A contract on house, relationship woes, and 1950s housewife takes LSD

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I’m up very early today, which is going to be a long one full of NLP training for master practitioners. It’s metaphor weekend!

Yesterday I gratefully signed a contract on my house! It feels really, really good, seven and a half weeks after listing it. It looks like the couple who saw it Thursday night for the first time and came back Friday to see it in the daytime are offering a backup contract, if the first one falls through.

Also yesterday, several people I care about were experiencing relationship difficulties. Feelings of disappointment, betrayal, anger, hurt, sadness, disrespect; expressing feelings, finding support, creating distance, moving on in some way. (Don’t try to make sense of this — I’m talking about several conflicts and people here. I’m sure you have experienced something similar — a loved one’s pain.)

I’m especially grateful to my Facebook friend Fran who asked this key question:

What is the lesson? Therein lies the silver lining!

Great question! Thank you, Fran!

I thought about it for a while. I got how my energy had gone out into each person’s hurting heart, feeling their pain. I got clear that these difficulties belonged to them (even if some were of their own making — like, “Man, what did you expect would happen? Snap to! You’re hurting someone!”), and that I could just simply extend my heart to them.

The pain is in discovering that the world is not as we believe it to be, that people are not who we believe they are. It is as it is, they behave as they behave.

if you can’t trust ’em, move on with those you can trust. if you betrayed someone’s trust, know it will probably never be the same. forgiveness, compassion, good boundaries solve a lot of problems. i hold them in the light.

And finally, today I am grateful for the wonderful finds on the internet. Here’s an old film from the 1950s where a normal housewife is given LSD and interviewed by a scientist on camera. Back when Technicolor was new. ; ) Enjoy!

Day 10: Tim Ferriss and The 4-Hour Body. I love teaching yoga. YES!

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The three things I’m grateful for today (day 10 of 21) are: Tim Ferriss, teaching yoga, and the word YES.

If you don’t know Tim Ferriss, you should. He wrote a groundbreaking book called The 4-Hour Work Week, which was a huge bestseller. He shared how people can get out of the rat race of working long hours for someone else and find a new lifestyle where the work is mostly remote and delegated.

Tim chose to travel, learn tango, compete in martial arts contests, and write a bestseller after setting up a health supplement company that practically ran on autopilot, which allowed him the time and income to do those things.

I haven’t followed his formula, but it inspired me to come up with a business idea that I could do anywhere I have access to a phone for a few hours a day, with fairly low start-up costs. I may do it yet, so it’s a secret!

What I love about Tim is his plain ol’ brashness. He’s incredibly curious and likes to find out for himself. He’s a pioneer, an explorer, an adventurer, a seeker, a finder, and a sharer. He’s got the energy of a barrel of laughing monkeys. What’s not to like?

He blogs about his experiments in lifestyle design, too.

Tim is back with a new book, The 4-Hour Body. I’ve just started reading it, and I can tell you now, I will learn a lot from it. With access to doctors, scientists, elite athletes, and state-of-the-art measuring equipment for his own personal experimentation, Tim has hacked the secrets to losing weight, gaining muscle, sleeping well, increasing testosterone and sperm count, running faster, reversing “permanent” injuries, and having 15-minute orgasms. So the cover says, anyway!

He shows you how to make tiny changes, starting from where you are now, that are the most effective changes. His key question is:

For all things physical, what are the tiniest changes that produce the biggest results?

(No wonder this appeals to me: It’s a Maximizer strategy. See my earlier post about finding your strengths.)

I love key questions and will blog about them in the future.

I peeked ahead to see how to lose 20 lbs in 30 days. His formula is:

  • Avoid “white” carbohydrates (or anything that can be white).
  • Eat the same few meals over and over again.
  • Don’t drink calories.
  • Don’t eat fruit.
  • Take one day off per week and go nuts.

And then he gives the fine points.

(Can’t wait until he hacks enlightenment in his next book, The 4-Hour Brain. You listening, Tim?)

Another thing I’m grateful for is that I finally took yoga teacher training and am teaching yoga. It is so gratifying to help motivated people find their way into yoga. Whether they are beginners who want one-on-one personal attention and instruction as they learn, or just want to unwind from stress and experience some deep relaxation, I’m enjoying teaching.

At present, I have one class on Sunday evenings, a restorative class in Oak Hill, and I have a private student who comes to my home after work one evening each week. (Bonus: My cat Mango curled up on top of her during savasana this week! He knows where the good juicy energy is.)

I’d like to teach more. My rates are very reasonable. Private classes are $25 an hour now, and group classes are $10 for 60 minutes, $15 for 90 minutes. If you want a trial session, call me.

You can read more on my Yoga offerings page on this blog.

I am grateful for the word YES. I’ve been getting some very nice YESes in my life lately. Two offers on my house this week, one of which I am getting ready to say YES to — and some folks who were looking at it last night loved it too. Affirmation!

Oh, and according to Patrice,

No is just another way of saying Yes.

So basically, it’s all Yes!

Having options is the antidote to anxiety, two offers on my house, three work possibilities

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Monday night I didn’t sleep well. My mind was restless with anxiety about selling my house (the fat lady only sings when you actually close), finances, transitioning to new work, the uncertainties of the future.

I discovered that coming up with options is a great antidote to anxiety, and I am full of gratitude for making that connection. The antidote to anxiety is having options. I realized I could seek contract work (and indeed felt some urgency about doing so), and I also realized I could get a roommate (or two) in this nice old East Austin house while it’s on the market.

Today, Thursday, I am grateful that I have two offers on my house. Both of them are in the ballpark of what I’m asking. I feel good that one of them will come through.

I’ve had to come down twice on my asking price. It’s a buyer’s market, and buyers are skittish about interest rates and the economy.

My net will be less than I expected, and I don’t want to deplete my savings. I fear being broke, and the antidote is…having options.

So…Tuesday and Wednesday I spent time updating my resume and getting it to recruiters. It’s been six years since I’ve looked for work as a technical writer. A lot has changed. Facebook, WordPress, LinkedIn, Twitter: the social media didn’t exist. Some software has gone away — PageMaker, anyone? I felt like I could benefit from a crash course in writing a resume for today’s job market.

I needn’t have worried.

It was gratifying to hear this morning from a recruiter that I come across as a solid writer, and that she has three good possibilities for me, working three or six month contracts at three well-known technology companies as a technical writer.

I think contracting is the way to go for me, to have a good income and be able to take the training I want in between contracts!

I continue to draw people and myself toward more well-being as I transition to offering this joyful service full time, earning more than enough to live on.