Finding your inner bigness. Jedi master Keith Fail. Awareness.

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Today I’m grateful for finding inner bigness — hope, recovery, resiliency, growth — for those energies that move a contraction into expansion, that move a loss into new possibilities.

If you have experienced a recent contraction — a disappointment or loss, say — know that if you give it some space, some energy within you will find a way to expand. To give it some space means to accept that what you planned has been replaced by the unknown. To allow the unknown to come into awareness — and not fight it or run from it with distractions or denial — is to open to possibility.

That moment may be uncomfortable, though. Breathe into it.

Expansion may come in the form of you learning a new and needed skill that gives you more confidence about managing your life.

Or it may come in the form of a new recognition about who you really are and what your life’s purpose is.

Today I recognize this pattern in my life, and I share it with those who need it.

~~~

Today I’m grateful for people who inspire, and I want to call one out in particular. Keith Fail presented last night at the Austin NLP meetup on the topic Living a Meaningful Life in 2011. Keith has studied NLP for 25 years with some of the best masters available. He coaches, teaches, and trains people with NLP. He is the most widely read person in the field that I’ve met, with a very inclusive yet discerning mindset. NLP is his life’s work.

Plus, he’s secretly a Jedi master. I’m convinced! Meet him and see for yourself.

Basing his presentation on the assumption that people want to be happy, and using current research on what makes people happy, Keith asked key questions to elicit in each attendee more clarity about what gives meaning to their lives and therefore brings happiness.

I recognize that I am undergoing a sea change in my life purpose and values, and my conscious mind is the last to know! These changes start deep within the unconscious, and are really just starting to take shape consciously about living my life’s purpose. I’ll be writing more as it becomes clear to me.

Thank you, Keith, for the value you’ve added to my life, and for being a friend and Jedi master.

~~~

I’m grateful for awareness. The faculty of awareness, and specific instances of awareness. Awareness allows me to recognize gratitude.

After I meditate, I get up and then bow to my empty zafu. It serves as a symbol and location for my experience of awareness.

Thank you.

Day 14: Being a mad scientist, having a wise realtor, leaving home

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We’re two-thirds of the way through the 21-day gratitude challenge!

I’m grateful for the “mad scientist” aspect of my personality.

I’m happily dreaming up and promoting the next challenge, a two-month experiment in doing the trauma releasing exercises.

I’m an Aquarius, born Feb. 7. That sign suits me. (If the “new astrology” is real, I’d be a Capricorn, which doesn’t suit me.) I like experimenting and learning!

I have no idea if anyone will follow me, but I’m willing to be the “lone nut”. (Most Aquarians are.)

That lone nut reference is to a video about leadership lessons from dancing, which you can view here. Are you willing to be a first follower?

I’m grateful for the wise advice of my realtor, who told me not to meet with the buyer of my house until closing. Yesterday I did meet him, but we didn’t converse. His realtor, his inspector, a foundation repairman, and he all came by yesterday to move ahead with his plans for buying and remodeling the house.

I wondered about that advice, and then I realized how emotional it is to sell my home in which I’ve lived 10 years of my life.

It’s the end of an era, not just of the house, but in my life.

The buyer and I will close and I hope we’ll spend some time hanging out. I can tell him about the plants and what I would have done if I had remodeled.

I’m grateful for the 10 years in which this house has provided me a home. So much has happened in those 10 years: The jobs I’ve had that paid the mortgage and bills, the times I’ve been unemployed, the people who have lived or stayed here with me at various times, the work I’ve done and have had others do, the heartbreaks and disappointments, the fun, the moments of joy, the moments of incredible stillness and peace and bliss…

The me of 10 years ago didn’t know herself (or like herself) nearly as much as I do now.

This house is where I recovered from my major childhood trauma, and where I got present in my life and truly acknowledged from the depths of my being how lucky I am to have a community of friends and family.

The guests I’ve had!!!

The yoga I’ve done!!!

The meals I’ve cooked!!!

I’ll be blogging more about my gratitude for this house and the past 10 years over the next week.

An open invitation to join an experiment in well-being

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A reader, Martie in South Africa, commented on an older post, Holotropic breathwork compared to trauma releasing exercises, and said:

I first heard about TRE last year Sept. Since then I have bought the book “The Revolutionary Trauma Release Process: Transcend Your Toughest Times” by David Berceli; spend hours and weeks on the internet reading up as much as I can (actually the info is few and far between and quite hard to find!). I have met up with other people who have done the course, and we have swapped some stories and experiences. I would like to learn as much as I can about this process ;-) . Sadly I think the course prices are way over priced (for my budget anyway), so I am going the DIY route.

I invited Martie to participate in the Chronic Stress and Trauma Recovery Challenge that starts Feb. 2, which I announced yesterday on this blog.

And now I’m inviting you. Here are the criteria for participating:

  • you want to enhance your well-being
  • you’ve been under prolonged stress at some point in your life
  • you’ve experienced trauma at some point in your life
  • you like discovering what really works
  • you’d like to contribute to the body of knowledge about a technique designed to help people recover from trauma by releasing it from their bodies
  • you’re interested in finding out if this technique works for releasing chronic stress

If any of those criteria inspire you, please consider participating for any or all of this challenge. You can’t do it wrong! I’m doing it a certain way, but anyone who does these exercises even once is welcome to participate and comment on your experience.

I’m trying to build a body of knowledge here, because as Martie and many others and I have found, there’s not a lot of anecdotal information available in one place about using this technique to release trauma and stress and improve well-being. It holds great promise, if you can imagine a world where no one is overly or chronically stressed or traumatized.

All it costs is the price of the book or video, you doing the exercises at least once (but hopefully several times or even as often as I do) in February and March, and reporting on your experience in the comments on this blog.

When it’s over, I’ll compile all our experiences into one long, organized blog post (or maybe a page) that anyone can find when they google “trauma releasing exercises”.

Announcing the Chronic Stress and Trauma Recovery Challenge

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On February 2, after completing the 21-day gratitude challenge, I am starting a new challenge, the Chronic Stress and Trauma Recovery Challenge.

One topic that consistently draws people to this blog is David Berceli’s trauma releasing exercises, as described in his book, The Revolutionary Trauma Release Process: Transcend Your Toughest Times, and seen in his video, Trauma Releasing Exercises Step by Step Video Instruction and Demonstration.

I’ve posted about them several times and done them at least a dozen times.They aren’t hard to learn or do — you just have to be able-bodied.

Although I have experienced trauma in my distant past, my take on these exercises is that they are very helpful for releasing chronic stress, which is much more common than trauma in today’s world.

It’s been estimated that as many as 90 percent of doctor’s visits are for problems related to stress. So let’s do something to decrease stress!

Besides, I need to do these exercises consistently, and I want to make it fun and useful for others, so I’m inviting you to join me in creating an online resource of anecdotal reports about the effects of doing these exercises. I would love to have your input!

  • Ever had a job you disliked or got burned out on and couldn’t just leave because of your mortgage/insurance/retirement? That’s chronic stress.
  • Ever had a difficult colleague/customer/boss/partner who seemingly loved to make your life miserable, whom you couldn’t just tell off because you’d get fired/dumped? That’s chronic stress.
  • Ever tried to work and take care of your spouse, kids, and aging parents, putting yourself last? And throw in a difficult commute or special-needs family member? That’s chronic stress.
  • Ever been consumed with worry, so that your health suffered? That’s chronic stress.

Ask yourself this:

How relaxed am I?

Is relaxation a distant memory?

Is relaxation something I only experience with alcohol or an expensive vacation or pharmaceuticals?

What can I do to release tension from my body in a healthy way?

Do I do this often enough to experience life for most of every day in a relaxed state?

If any of these questions hit home, please consider participating in this challenge. Your participation doesn’t have to exactly match mine. Do what you can, and I’d love to hear about your experience.

Trauma recovery experimenters are welcome to take part and report too. That is what this process is designed for.

Here’s how the challenge works (and if I am the only one, I will happily be the lone nut curious enough to do this and learn something useful to share):

  1. If you don’t have the book or video, order them now. The links above will take you to Amazon.com.
  2. On February 2, do the exercises. They take 20-30 minutes. I’ll be doing them and reporting here, and you can share your experience in the comments.
  3. For the rest of February, do the exercises on even-numbered days. Report as needed.
  4. In March, do them twice a week on your own schedule. Report significant changes in the comments.
  5. At the end of March, notice what has changed in your body, attitude, sense of well-being, emotions, vices, and other aspects of your life that may be attributable to doing these exercises and letting go of stress. Share in the comments!
  6. Learn to recognize what your unstressed body feels like and what the signals are that you need to do the exercises. This is a skill.

That’s it! This is qualitative research, health and well-being improvement, and community service, folks. I’d love to receive and share your contributions. Maybe we can make the world a better place while benefitting ourselves!

Any questions before we start? Feel free to email me at mareynolds27 at gmail dot com.

Meta position. Metta Sutra. A good night’s sleep.

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Several friends of mine have been experiencing relationship troubles lately, and I’ve felt an impact myself. Surprise, anger, sorrow, disappointment, empathy, compassion for all. I am still feeling some heaviness about this.

I’ve struggled to comprehend, to see the situation from each person’s point of view, to see where I was attached to things as they were, to understand the differences in values that created the conflicts, to accept what happened, to advise well when asked, to let my emotions wash through me and move through it as cleanly and clearly as I know how.

From the NLP world comes the concept of meta position, which is a location outside a situation which enables you to see the situation from a broader perspective. Meta position has a degree of dissociation, of not taking it personally, but also extending compassion to all concerned. At least, that’s how I’ve learned it.

You can “go meta” with yourself on your own inner conflicts, processes, and interactions, and you can use it to see yourself and those you care about as you imagine God might perceive the situation in the fullness of time.

You know, the really big picture, using Big Mind.

Today I’m grateful for the concept and practice of meta position.

~~~

The Metta Sutra contains Buddha’s words on loving kindness, a quality cultivated by Buddhist practice. It’s not very long and it includes these well-known words:

May all beings be happy.

I’m grateful for the Buddha for giving us the Metta Sutra. Here’s the entire text.

The Metta Sutra

This is the work for those who are skilled and peaceful, who seek the good: May they be able and upright, straightforward, of gentle speech and not proud. May they be content and easily supported, unburdened with their senses calmed. May they be wise, not arrogant and without desire for the possessions of others. May they do nothing mean or that the wise would reprove.

May all beings be happy. May they live in safety and joy. All living beings, whether weak or strong, tall, stout, medium or short, seen or unseen, near or distant, born or to be born, may they all be happy.

Let no one deceive another or despise any being in any state, let none by anger or hatred wish harm to another. As a mother watches over her child, willing to risk her own life to protect her only child, so with a boundless heart should one cherish all living beings, suffusing the whole world with unobstructed loving-kindness.

Standing or walking, sitting or lying down, during all one’s waking hours, may one remain mindful of this heart and this way of living that is the best in the world. Unattached to speculations, views and sense desires, with clear vision, such a person will never be reborn in the cycles of suffering.

Click this link to view (and print, if you desire) this translation of the Metta Sutra.

~~~

I’ve spent many years of my life taking a good night’s sleep for granted. When you aren’t sleeping well, it affects your entire sense of well-being. I’ve gone through periods like that, and it was such a relief when I slept well again.

These days I occasionally have nights where my sleep is disturbed. Last night I slept soundly and woke feeling deeply rested and ready for the day, and for that, I am most grateful.

Father and infant daughter, a new watch, pigeon pose

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This will be a quick post after a long and busy day.

Today I’m grateful that I saw Brannen Temple holding his tiny, one-month-old daughter Najwa, who was sound asleep on his forearm this morning when I dropped Hannah off.

They made a beautiful picture together that just enchanted me — the big man and the tiny baby.

The photo above of Brannen’s hands and Najwa’s feet was taken by Sarah Temple. Love this photo, Sarah!

I found a watch at Target this evening that’s exactly like my description a week ago of what I desired in a watch but had never seen! It has a large round silver analog watch face, big numbers, a second hand, and a skinny black leather band. Found it for only $9.99!

For this I am grateful. They are very handy when teaching restorative yoga. Thanks to Mary Jean for suggesting Target.

I’m also grateful tonight for eka pada rajakapotasana, one-legged king pigeon pose. It just feels so good! It’s nice to use bolsters and blankets and hold it long with forehead on floor as a passive, resting, restorative pose. Ahhhhh!

Thanks to Yoga Journal for the borrowed photo below.

A contract on house, relationship woes, and 1950s housewife takes LSD

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I’m up very early today, which is going to be a long one full of NLP training for master practitioners. It’s metaphor weekend!

Yesterday I gratefully signed a contract on my house! It feels really, really good, seven and a half weeks after listing it. It looks like the couple who saw it Thursday night for the first time and came back Friday to see it in the daytime are offering a backup contract, if the first one falls through.

Also yesterday, several people I care about were experiencing relationship difficulties. Feelings of disappointment, betrayal, anger, hurt, sadness, disrespect; expressing feelings, finding support, creating distance, moving on in some way. (Don’t try to make sense of this — I’m talking about several conflicts and people here. I’m sure you have experienced something similar — a loved one’s pain.)

I’m especially grateful to my Facebook friend Fran who asked this key question:

What is the lesson? Therein lies the silver lining!

Great question! Thank you, Fran!

I thought about it for a while. I got how my energy had gone out into each person’s hurting heart, feeling their pain. I got clear that these difficulties belonged to them (even if some were of their own making — like, “Man, what did you expect would happen? Snap to! You’re hurting someone!”), and that I could just simply extend my heart to them.

The pain is in discovering that the world is not as we believe it to be, that people are not who we believe they are. It is as it is, they behave as they behave.

if you can’t trust ’em, move on with those you can trust. if you betrayed someone’s trust, know it will probably never be the same. forgiveness, compassion, good boundaries solve a lot of problems. i hold them in the light.

And finally, today I am grateful for the wonderful finds on the internet. Here’s an old film from the 1950s where a normal housewife is given LSD and interviewed by a scientist on camera. Back when Technicolor was new. ; ) Enjoy!

Day 10: Tim Ferriss and The 4-Hour Body. I love teaching yoga. YES!

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The three things I’m grateful for today (day 10 of 21) are: Tim Ferriss, teaching yoga, and the word YES.

If you don’t know Tim Ferriss, you should. He wrote a groundbreaking book called The 4-Hour Work Week, which was a huge bestseller. He shared how people can get out of the rat race of working long hours for someone else and find a new lifestyle where the work is mostly remote and delegated.

Tim chose to travel, learn tango, compete in martial arts contests, and write a bestseller after setting up a health supplement company that practically ran on autopilot, which allowed him the time and income to do those things.

I haven’t followed his formula, but it inspired me to come up with a business idea that I could do anywhere I have access to a phone for a few hours a day, with fairly low start-up costs. I may do it yet, so it’s a secret!

What I love about Tim is his plain ol’ brashness. He’s incredibly curious and likes to find out for himself. He’s a pioneer, an explorer, an adventurer, a seeker, a finder, and a sharer. He’s got the energy of a barrel of laughing monkeys. What’s not to like?

He blogs about his experiments in lifestyle design, too.

Tim is back with a new book, The 4-Hour Body. I’ve just started reading it, and I can tell you now, I will learn a lot from it. With access to doctors, scientists, elite athletes, and state-of-the-art measuring equipment for his own personal experimentation, Tim has hacked the secrets to losing weight, gaining muscle, sleeping well, increasing testosterone and sperm count, running faster, reversing “permanent” injuries, and having 15-minute orgasms. So the cover says, anyway!

He shows you how to make tiny changes, starting from where you are now, that are the most effective changes. His key question is:

For all things physical, what are the tiniest changes that produce the biggest results?

(No wonder this appeals to me: It’s a Maximizer strategy. See my earlier post about finding your strengths.)

I love key questions and will blog about them in the future.

I peeked ahead to see how to lose 20 lbs in 30 days. His formula is:

  • Avoid “white” carbohydrates (or anything that can be white).
  • Eat the same few meals over and over again.
  • Don’t drink calories.
  • Don’t eat fruit.
  • Take one day off per week and go nuts.

And then he gives the fine points.

(Can’t wait until he hacks enlightenment in his next book, The 4-Hour Brain. You listening, Tim?)

Another thing I’m grateful for is that I finally took yoga teacher training and am teaching yoga. It is so gratifying to help motivated people find their way into yoga. Whether they are beginners who want one-on-one personal attention and instruction as they learn, or just want to unwind from stress and experience some deep relaxation, I’m enjoying teaching.

At present, I have one class on Sunday evenings, a restorative class in Oak Hill, and I have a private student who comes to my home after work one evening each week. (Bonus: My cat Mango curled up on top of her during savasana this week! He knows where the good juicy energy is.)

I’d like to teach more. My rates are very reasonable. Private classes are $25 an hour now, and group classes are $10 for 60 minutes, $15 for 90 minutes. If you want a trial session, call me.

You can read more on my Yoga offerings page on this blog.

I am grateful for the word YES. I’ve been getting some very nice YESes in my life lately. Two offers on my house this week, one of which I am getting ready to say YES to — and some folks who were looking at it last night loved it too. Affirmation!

Oh, and according to Patrice,

No is just another way of saying Yes.

So basically, it’s all Yes!

Having options is the antidote to anxiety, two offers on my house, three work possibilities

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Monday night I didn’t sleep well. My mind was restless with anxiety about selling my house (the fat lady only sings when you actually close), finances, transitioning to new work, the uncertainties of the future.

I discovered that coming up with options is a great antidote to anxiety, and I am full of gratitude for making that connection. The antidote to anxiety is having options. I realized I could seek contract work (and indeed felt some urgency about doing so), and I also realized I could get a roommate (or two) in this nice old East Austin house while it’s on the market.

Today, Thursday, I am grateful that I have two offers on my house. Both of them are in the ballpark of what I’m asking. I feel good that one of them will come through.

I’ve had to come down twice on my asking price. It’s a buyer’s market, and buyers are skittish about interest rates and the economy.

My net will be less than I expected, and I don’t want to deplete my savings. I fear being broke, and the antidote is…having options.

So…Tuesday and Wednesday I spent time updating my resume and getting it to recruiters. It’s been six years since I’ve looked for work as a technical writer. A lot has changed. Facebook, WordPress, LinkedIn, Twitter: the social media didn’t exist. Some software has gone away — PageMaker, anyone? I felt like I could benefit from a crash course in writing a resume for today’s job market.

I needn’t have worried.

It was gratifying to hear this morning from a recruiter that I come across as a solid writer, and that she has three good possibilities for me, working three or six month contracts at three well-known technology companies as a technical writer.

I think contracting is the way to go for me, to have a good income and be able to take the training I want in between contracts!

I continue to draw people and myself toward more well-being as I transition to offering this joyful service full time, earning more than enough to live on.

Asking for what you need, seeking work, and Integrative Chakra Breathwork

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On day 8 of the 21-day gratitude challenge, I am grateful for two dear friends who have asked me for love and support because they need it now.

I don’t know why, and I don’t need to know why. They will share when they’re ready. That’s beside the point.

These friends are people whom I’ve asked for support from when I’ve needed it, because they have an abundance of love for people.

I feel deeply honored that they can ask me when they need it, and that I have it to give. Blessings on you both, and may angels wrap their soft wings around you, carrying you in love, as I do.

***

I am grateful for my skills and abilities to make myself useful. Today, I will be asking for what I need in terms of a temporary/contract job. I do technical writing, editing, training, and a whole slew of other things.

Please ping me if you hear about anything. I’m also updating my LinkedIn profile. Please feel welcome to link to me if you like!

***

Today I’m grateful that I attended an Integrative Chakra Breathwork session last night. This is the creation of Ed Buresh, whom I just met in person last night, and it is a journey through the chakras with sound, breath, and movement.

Ed created the sound, which is marvelous: a heartbeat, a swirsh, and a tone for each chakra based on the earth’s vibrational frequency. I went into a deep theta trance during the 6th chakra and emerged as the sound was receding. It felt like I was working something out that was mostly unconscious.

I plan to return for more sessions.

(Another friend was teasing me about going to this, saying that “integrative chakra breathwork” hit all the New Age buzz words! Not quite. If you add “channel” and “angels” and “purple” and “bio-energetic”, then you’d be pretty close! That angel photo just makes this post complete, does it not?)