Prison yoga: stories and photos, and local prison work

I read this Elephant Journal article, Yoga at San Quentin: Prisoner Interviews and Photos, liked it, discovered it had a Part 1 (Do Prisoners Deserve Yoga?) and a Part 2 (Know about yoga & meditation for at-risk and incarcerated youth? Serving where it matters most), and liked those articles as well.

At its best, prison is a place that transforms lives.

I’ve had an opportunity several times to go into the state prison at Lockhart and take part in the graduation ceremonies of Truth Be Told, which works with women behind and beyond bars. They have been the most moving, heart-opening, compassion-building experiences I’ve ever had. 

Please note on Truth Be Told’s website that a couple of upcoming opportunities to witness graduation ceremonies in both Lockhart and Gatesville are happening later this month. Respond quickly if you’re interested. I just got confirmation for attending the May 26 graduation in Gatesville’s Hilltop unit, my first time there.

I don’t know if there’s still space or if the deadline has passed. You have to be pre-approved by the Texas Department of Criminal Justice.

If you are interested in waking up to more of the world we live in, being moved, and finding a way to be of service (even if just witnessing), I recommend connecting with Truth Be Told and attending one of these ceremonies.

If you can’t go, at least get on their mailing list and make a contribution however you can.

Does anyone know if yoga is being taught in the Travis County State Jail, the GEO prison in Lockhart, the prison in Burnet, or in any of the Gatesville prisons? I’d love to know.

A reader asks about self-actualizing

I received an email from a reader who found my blog inspirational and shared her story about the pull of coming alive. I in turn feel very inspired and want to share publicly
and answer some questions she poses, because if she is wondering, others are too. (I replied personally as well.)

This is the path of self-actualization. It’s the same thing as coming alive.

Dear MaryAnn,

About a year and a half ago, I felt like I was coming alive at last. I had been laid off from corporate America, had my mornings free to be physically active, and my afternoons free to write and volunteer. I spent a summer/fall in Chile to volunteer at a non-profit, where the highlight of my time was to befriend children at a school and teach them a lesson about the “red alimentaria”… the food web… in Spanish!  I then taught kids outdoor environmental education, and then spent the summer doing labwork in Alaska (I trained as a biochemist).  But after being away from my “field” for so long, fear kicked in, and I started worrying about income source, a “career”, and so on… and as you probably already know, feeding the wolf of fear leads one down paths that don’t contribute to feeling alive!
So, thank you for your inspirational blog, which reminded me that YES, I am OK to NOT want to stay in a new job (albeit it pays $65K/year) if selling life science research projects does not make me come alive!  And NO, I’m not “wrong” to feel this way. And YES, I AM grateful for all that I have, but at the same time, I don’t need to continue doing something that I think is draining me of life versus filling me with life.
My question that I hope you can provide some insight into is, what helped you determine what type of new work and income source you could pursue that is both life-inspiring and supports your needs?  I noticed the image of the trailer… when I taught kids for 5 months in Redding, CA, I learned that a trailer costs $8000, which would pay for itself in a year vs the $750/mo I am now spending in rent in the SF Bay Area.  Did you find a solution to reducing living expenses so that you were free to pursue work and activities that truly fulfilled you?

Thank you again for your inspiring words, and may you continue to live courageously! : )
-B
PS  Btw, I’m 33 soon to be 34 in June, no debt, some savings, and a bit on the conservative side…. though that is all relative b/c none of my friends have taken career breaks to travel and live/work non-career jobs like I did this past almost 2 yrs. But at the same time, I have not picked up and relocated to a new city jobless the way some folks whom I’ve met in my travels have.  Thanks again!  I’m thinking about training to be an environmental science teacher…. or a Breema practitioner (I actually only just learned about Breema but it sounds great!).

Well, I feel flattered and honored to hear from such an amazing person who received some inspiration from my blog. I have no doubt that B is on the path of really coming alive!

The path of self-actualization isn’t for everyone. Most people find it easier and much more comfortable to take that “path of least resistance” and stick with the corporate job, the 8-5, the insurance and benefits, the known.

There’s nothing wrong with that if that’s what is right for you right now. It’s just that throughout history, some people have listened within to an urge to seek more life out of their life — to see the world, to pioneer something, to take a risk, to call their time their own, to be of service, to express themselves, to be their own boss, to listen to their body, to get to know themselves at a deeper level.

B’s first question asks what helped me determine the type of new work and income source I could pursue that is life-inspiring and can support my needs.

My answer is that I’m still figuring that out, but my new criteria for work is no longer just a paycheck, benefits, the potential for advancement. I want to do the kind of work that is so aligned with who I am and what I love doing that I would do it even if I didn’t get paid (and actually getting paid and making a decent living is icing on the cake).

I want to spend my time doing what I want to do, not what someone else wants me to do. I want to follow my interests, fascinations, and passions. Or else why did God give them to me???

That seems to pretty much translate into becoming self-employed and to practicing some kind of profession. It’s starting to take shape and will combine several of my interests and allow me to pursue others. What I can tell you now is that it involves me working with others on improving their well-being, and getting results.

I should also mention that having my hand analyzed by Richard Unger of the International Institute of Hand Analysis helped me open my mind years ago to the possibility of living my life differently. Darn, I forgot to tell B that.

B, hope you’re reading this. He’s based in San Francisco. Go see him.

Also, I paid attention to my dreams and discussed them with friends.

Notice what you love doing. Notice what you are attracted to. Notice what fascinates you. What do you do now that makes you happy? What are you passionate about? Love, attraction, fascination, happiness, passion — these are about emotion, energy, direction, feeling alive, satisfaction, fulfillment. 

That’s where to start. And then if you like, start thinking about how you can combine what you love in a unique way.

B’s second question is whether I found a solution to reduced living expenses so I could be free to pursue work and activities that truly fulfill me.

Yes, I did find a solution based on my situation. I sold my home of 10 years in February. I loved it, but it was too much for me to keep up with, and the mortgage obligation had become an albatross. I wanted to free up some capital to pursue a big improvement in work and lifestyle even though I didn’t know what shape it would take. 

Maybe it was the fantasy of hitting the open road and exploring this beautiful country that first got me interested in trailers. I discovered Spartan trailers and discovered a rare Carousel for sale. I hoped it would still be for sale when I closed on my house. It was, and I bought it. It felt like the Universe really wanted me to have it!

It is big enough to live in year-round, like a one-bedroom apartment that you can move, and trailer park leases run month-to-month. I began freeing myself of stuff, and without planning to, I quit my “permanent” job when my gut told me it was the only course to take. I took a contract job doing the same kind of work for 3 months, and I can do that again if I need to.

I found a nice trailer park and will soon have it moved here. Then I’ll update it and move in. My monthly housing and utility costs will be one-third of what they were. That makes a difference — I can pursue the training I want, and I can do some work from my new home.

I know that I am very, very lucky to be able to do this. At the same time, I bought my house in 2000 with an eye to charm, location, and appreciation, so in a way, I created this option before I knew my life would take this turn.

Not everyone has a house to sell. I think reducing one’s living expenses is about being creative and knowing yourself, which are other aspects of coming alive. Usually housing is one’s biggest expense. You can rent a room in a house, share a house or apartment with roommates, couch surf, house-sit, buy a trailer, take work that includes room and board. You always have more resources than you think you do. If you feel stuck, seek a resourceful friend or a coach. Like you did, B, by emailing me!

Work is the area of life that can create the most happiness. See my recent post about right livelihood. We spend more waking time working than anything else, and work can have a sense of purpose and meaning to it.

Imagine what work/lifestyle is ideal for you. Dream big. Put no conditions on it. Then look at how you can get there incrementally. It’s a direction, not a destination. At each fork in the road, ask yourself, “Which is the happier choice? Which will take me closer to living the life I’m meant to live?” 

Good luck, B, and all you self-actualizers out there. I’d love to hear from you.

I’m ending this post with a quote from the Dalai Lama that helps put everything in perspective:

The Dalai Lama when asked what surprised him most about humanity, answered, “Man…. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”

Coming in June: The Austin Centre for Happy, Healthy Breasts

I posted last week about how much I like Pomegranate Breast Oil, and Sunny sent me an update on where you can buy it in Austin. More local stores are now offering it.

She is also building Earthsong cottage where she will soon be creating this product, and she is planning a grand opening in June. Earthsong cottage will be the home of the Austin Centre for Healthy, Happy Breasts.

Don’t you just love it? I do!

And…she is offering a special price for buying in quantity!

I added these details at the bottom of the original post. Click here to learn more!

Interview with yoga crone Cora Wen

I only got connected with Cora Wen through Facebook. I forget exactly how. I’ve come to love her posts and her take on yoga.

Now The Magazine of Yoga has published a two-part interview with Cora. This link is to Part 1, where Cora discusses being a yoga crone (along with Angela Farmer, Indra Devi, and other older female yoga teachers), and how they’ve served as role models for how to age well.

As well as race/ethnicity and gender and body differences.

In Part 2 of the interview, Cora talks about being a yoga teacher, chi, and living a life touched by yoga.

Love this quote:

That seems to be the thing my students always say: “You’re just so you.” Well, I want you to be you. I want you to disagree with me. I don’t want you to do what I say. I want you to think for yourself. I want you to be curious. I want you to be playful. I don’t want you just to listen to me. I don’t want you to repeat what I say. I want you to be you. Maybe I can help you see that. Being you is okay.

Read on for Cora’s take on the most important of the Yoga Sutras, and why.

Starting the process of brainwave optimization

Yesterday I did something I’ve wanted to do ever since I learned about it. I had an assessment of how my brainwaves are working.

I learned that I still have traces of fight-or-flight activity stemming from PTSD. Forty something years after the trauma, after nearly 20 years of yoga, psychotherapy, releasing the traumatic energy block a la Waking the Tiger, over 5 years of meditation, learning NLP, and doing the trauma releasing exercises, this pattern (although much less than it was) is still present in my energy field. All of those healing modalities have helped and been completely worthwhile, to be sure.

Fight-or-flight is a wonderful instinct to have — when there’s something to fight or flee from. The problem is when there’s nothing in the environment to fear, but I am still tense or jumpy. It’s a brainwave pattern.

I’ve wondered how can I know I’ve completely recovered from trauma. The trauma happened when I was young, so I don’t have an adult baseline of well-being to compare to. I’d really like to know that I’m over it and don’t need to spend any more energy on it. Ever.

The aftereffects of a trauma can last a lifetime. I’d like to experience what it is like to be untraumatized. I can’t change the past, but I can change my brain wave patterns and therefore my life.  

Here’s how the process has gone so far. I made an appointment with Gigi Turner at NeuroBeginnings. That is one of three Austin affiliates offering brainwave optimization using the equipment and software and training provided by Brain State Technologies (BST).

The founder of BST, Lee Gerdes, has written a book, Limitless You: The Infinite Possibilities of a Balanced Brain. I have just gotten the book myself. One of the testimonials on the back cover mentions “restoring … humans to a joyful and highly functional state in their daily life.” Yeah.

All of these companies are staying busy, from what I hear, and I’m sure they are all very competent at doing what they do. I connected well with Gigi on the phone and identified with her as a working woman, so I chose her. She’s also the most highly trained BST certified technician in town.

At my first appointment, she had me fill out an extensive online questionnaire. I’m pretty sure they ask about so many issues because BST wants to collect as much data as it can. All in the name of compassionate science. This is a fascinating frontier that I’ve blogged about before.

At the end of the questionnaire, I identified my top reasons for wanting to do this. I listed well-being and happiness first. And, oh yeah, I wouldn’t mind having better spiritual development and meditation, cognitive improvement, social interactions, etc.

Gigi had me sit in a recliner. She put some electrodes on my earlobes and scalp. She then asked me to close my eyes for 2-3 minutes. Then she asked me to open my eyes partially. Then she asked me to open my eyes completely. With eyes open, she had me do an exercise like repeat strings of numbers.

Meanwhile, a big computer monitor with a split screen is showing my left and right hemisphere activity as colors — blues, green, red, each color representing a range of brainwaves like beta, alpha, theta, delta — streaming by.

Pretty and fascinating. I wonder what this means.

Then she’d move the electrodes and repeat the process for a different area of my brain, getting readings for the frontal lobe, parietal, temporal, occipital, cingulate gyrus, and midline, if I remember accurately.

With my eyes open, I’d do a different exercise for each area. I solved math problems aloud, read to myself and answered a question, listened to Gigi reading and answered a question, and just looked around the room.

At the end, she removed the electrodes and showed me a summary on the computer of my assessment. (It’s proprietary, so I didn’t get a copy. Darn! I love looking at data, seeing what pops out.)

Basically for each area of the brain, there’s data about the left and right hemispheres, about each brainwave type, and about ratios between types (such as between beta and theta), as far as I could tell. I bet there’s also data about the brain’s flexibility in moving from eyes closed, partly open, to wide open, and how well it functions doing each assigned task.

From experience, the BST-trained technicians have come to recognize “brainwave signatures” for various conditions like PTSD, ADHD, and so on. But it’s really not meant as a diagnostic tool. It’s meant to be used to harmonize and balance the brain, and this is the starting place.

They also can tell what range the numbers “should” be in for optimal functioning. Not that there’s necessarily anything wrong with being out of range. I imagine some gifts and talents that people have developed (math prodigy, psychic) rely on being out of normal range while doing that activity. The question is, are they happy and healthy? Can their brainwaves change to meet the situation, or are they in a dysfunctional pattern?

Even if you don’t have anything like PTSD, you can probably benefit from tuning up your brain. The literature says it can help with addictions, anger, anxiety, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, compulsive behaviors, eating disorders, learning difficulties, obsessive thinking, panic attacks, poor memory, sleeping difficulties, stress, and a host of other issues.

So it is possible that with the training, I can completely retrain my brain to operate as if I never had PTSD.

I can be less jumpy and experience even more well-being. I’m looking forward to that.

I can also learn to focus better on reading material that is, ahem, less than compelling. Like textbooks and other dry material.

I’m a pretty good sleeper, but Gigi says that optimizing my brain waves will help me sleep even better, waking up even more refreshed. Wow. I’ve had insomnia before and have great compassion for people with sleep problems. I’m looking forward to sleeping more restfully.

BST affiliates can also do things like increase beta in the left hemisphere and increase alpha in the right hemisphere. Yeah, let those hemispheres specialize even more! I imagine this would make someone more cognitively adept when they need to be and happier the rest of the time. I’ll have some of that, too!

So I’m going to do it later this month, when my contract job is completely done. You need to be able to come in for a couple of hours a day every day, or even twice a day, which is why I’ve waited until now.

I understand the process uses sound, and that you actually “observe” your brain waves and optimize them yourself, creating the balance and harmony you desire, rather than matching an external norm.

I will report back here at Well:bodymindheartspirit.

Pomegranate Breast Oil, for women and those who love them

I don’t ordinarily plug things on this blog, but I found a product I really like and want to share information about. My dear friend Sunny Markham makes a wonderful product called Pomegranate Breast Oil.

The oil smells great and feels really amazing on your skin, and the ingredients (organic pomegranate rind, organic mustard seed oil, and essential oils of amber, frankincense, spikenard, sandalwood, and myrrh) promote beautiful, healthy breasts. It is an Ayurvedic formula, and Sunny decocts the pomegranate rind and mustard seed oil outside in two big pots for approximately 44 hours under the full moon. It’s a labor of love!

I’ve been using it for many months now, and I’m hooked. This is a great way to love myself, and for all women to love themselves. It smells and feels so good, I love taking the time to do this. I feel more loved and healthier, and my breasts are now naturally toned as a result of the frequent massage.

Giving loving attention to your breasts has gotta do something wonderful for ‘em! Your partner can do this for you, too, but it’s a practice you’ll want to keep up several times a week for optimal results.

This product also makes a wonderful gift to give a woman you love. I’m giving some to my daughter for Mother’s Day, and if my mother was still around, she’d be getting some too.

You can order it online in small quantities (or large for a great discount), and you can also buy it at The Herb Bar on W. Mary St. (just west of South Congress), Casa de Luz, and Victory Pharmacy in South Austin. It comes both with and without the essential oils.

Every bottle comes with a beautiful little booklet with six simple breast massage steps that are playful, sensual, and do healthy things like move lymph and drain toxins and increase circulation.

Your breasts will be toned and glowing with happiness! Go to http://www.thegatheringforhealth.com/ and http://www.pomegranatebreastoil.com.

 

Hope you enjoy it!

~~

Here’s a follow-up on May 5, 2011. I emailed Sunny to find out where all her oil was being sold in Austin. Here’s what she replied:

The building of the Austin Centre for Happy, Healthy Breasts will be completed in a few weeks! I’m planning the grand opening in June. The Centre will be the home of Earthsong Pomegranate Breast Oil and offer breast self-massage workshops.

If someone wants to purchase Earthsong Pomegranate Breast Oil prior to the opening, they are welcome to come to my home. I’m off Cuernavaca down Bee Caves Rd. towards Hwy 71. Call me at 512-203-9739 for details.

If it’s more convenient, they can purchase the oil from one of our local distributors:

  • The Herb Bar, 200 W Mary St., Austin, TX, 512-444-6251
  • People’s Pharmacy on N. Lamar, Austin, TX, 512-459-9090
  • People’s Pharmacy, 4201 Westbank Drive, Austin, TX (512-327-8877
  • Venus DeMarco’s Skin Care 4101 Medical Pkwy # 113, Austin, TX, 512-626-6141

I recommend they contact the store prior to going there, to check their stock and pricing. When they call, they want to make sure the supplier has the Essential Breast Massage brochure that comes with the oil.

If they purchase the oil from me, (1) 2 oz. Bottle of Earthsong Pomegranate Breast Oil is $30.00 + tax.

I’m pleased to include my simple 6-step Every Woman’s Guide to Essential Breast Massage. It’s so easy to follow and I’ll explain it to you if you want!

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Here’s a great price break from me!

Order (6) Bottles of Earthsong Pomegranate Breast Oil and pay just $16.99 per bottle.  That’s $101.94 + tax.

This would be such an elegant and caring gift to the beloved women in your life! 

I’ll include Every Woman’s Guide to Essential Breast Massage with every bottle ordered.

Restorative yoga: good for athletes and for healing

Happy Easter! This year I’m enjoying thinking of Jesus as a revolutionary corruption-fighter who also taught peace and love. Christ is risen!

I just came across this article, Yoga minus all that pesky effort, on restorative yoga for athletic recovery.

Legs up the wall is great for resting the legs after a run. Passive backbend opens the chest so you can breathe more deeply.

And every active person needs more rest.

Teaching my restorative class, Unwinding, tonight, 7-8:30, at Oak Hill Healing Arts, 7413 Bee Caves Road. I bring the props, you bring your mat and yourself, ready to enjoy some deep relaxation.

Namaste, y’all!

Resentment and poison, failure and feedback

Readers, I am processing something that happened this week, and I beg your indulgence as I move through my stuff. Maybe you find other people’s processing interesting. If not, skip reading this post.

Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die. – Malachy McCourt

Social work professor and authenticity researcher Brene Brown posted this quote on Facebook yesterday. (No, I don’t know her in person, but her work is pretty awesome, as are her TED Talks.) The timing for me to encounter this quote was perfect. On Monday night I had a meeting with someone who told me he has resented me for a year, since we both came onto the leadership team of a social and educational organization.

Suddenly I got insight into the tension I’d felt coming from him and how he related to me as if I were a bad employee to be corrected or micromanaged, his dissatisfaction and hypercritical attitude toward any mistakes I made, and a lack of support, gratitude, and appreciation for anything I did, even to the point of undermining me (which was why I wanted to meet with him, to tell him I didn’t like that a bit, you jerk).

It had the ring of truth to it. I also felt horrified. Frankly, it’s creepy to have someone tell you that they’ve resented you for a year. A year!

I left after about 20 minutes. Clear that I don’t want to work with him any more, I ended our “conversation” by resigning. I felt disappointed, but also that there was no real choice. Interest has tapered off. I don’t have hope that the organization will survive.

Later that evening, I found out another person on the leadership team had resigned that morning. And yet another person — also a supporter who has shared his gifts with this organization — soon decided after fruitless and frustrating conversations with this person to take his talents elsewhere. After learning this, I quit as a member.

I just wanna say this:

Hey, dude. Maybe it’s not me. Maybe it’s you.

Maybe members sensed your hidden resentment and decided not to come back. You probably think that’s too woo-woo. But maybe there’s a whole field of awareness that you’ve been blind to.

You were a real pill to work with, and as much as I loved doing my role, even imperfectly, I’m okay with severing our association. Relieved. Let me get away from your poison. I came away with many new relationships with people I do like. I even liked you sometimes, but not as a leader.

Here’s a beef: You don’t use the skills this organization promotes to resolve problems! When I asked you what the outcome was that you wanted, you avoided answering my question. Others have noticed that you have difficulty answering a clear, direct request with a clear, direct answer. The meaning of communication is the response you get.

You went off on a tangent but actually got the outcome I think you wanted — my resignation — without ever directly asking for it.

So, um, you could have just asked for my resignation at any time without all the drama, you know. So why didn’t you?

Dude, where’s your well-formedness?

I don’t even think this has much to do with me. It’s more about his ego.

I understand that he’s working out something karmic in his life. This is not about what he thinks it’s about. It’s about self-revelation. He doesn’t seem to know himself very well or be effective in a leadership role. If people don’t trust him or have confidence in him as a leader, then he’s not a leader, no matter what title he has.

I’ve been thinking a lot this week about what good leadership is. It seems clear to me that it’s situational. People talk about leadership style, but the style has to match the situation.

What works in an employer-employee relationship where you pay someone to fulfill your agenda will not work in an organization composed of volunteers. That is much more about relationship skills and consensus building, rapport and responsiveness, not command and control.

New awesomeness arises out of the ashes. I am free to pursue my best interests, and that’s already taking shape in a very satisfying way.

~~

Update a week later: Everything is perfect just the way it is. When this guy is my age and looks back on who he was at this current time in his life, he will have great perspective on how much richer his map of the world got. His identity, his role in creating this, his ability to be congruent, his skills in relating to people and in leading people will all be vastly more developed and nuanced.

Thank you, readers

At the end of January, this blog had gotten 5,000 views.

Today the count is up to 7,355 views. I also have several new subscribers. Welcome! I hope you find some value here.

Just want to say thanks to all of you. I appreciate you reading my posts and especially enjoy getting your comments.

This blog is an outlet for me to follow and pursue what interests me and share what I discover, both in myself and “out there” in the world. I imagine that not every post is everyone’s cup of tea, but to those who read my posts occasionally, or regularly, I really want you to know how grateful I am to have something to offer. And I’m glad you can pass up the ones that don’t resonate, too!

I feel like I’m on a journey, and I don’t know the destination yet, but getting there is a lot of fun. Thanks for being company on the road.

My cousin the dancing tree

Was driving to my temp job the other day when I noticed a tree violently shaking near the road.

This particular tree was dancing with such abandon, it seemed possessed by a spirit.

Then I realized it was very windy by noticing that all the trees were dancing. (You know, I woke, got ready for work, and walked a short distance to my car. It’s easy to miss how windy it is unless it knocks you over. The sight of this tree knocked me over.)

And still, this tree was dancing with more wildness than the others.

Who’s to say it was not possessed by a spirit? I couldn’t see a spirit, except in the extraordinary fervor of the tree, limbs whipping this way and that.

I connected energetically with that tree. I empathized because of my practice of shaking medicine. A fresh breath, a newness, an expansion, a connection…

Plants shake, animals shake, people shake (but sometimes have to be taught).

A day later, I bought a new metal water bottle. It was green, with a tree image on it.

I just now made that connection in my conscious mind.

Shaking, connection, expansion — it’s contagious! Are you catching it yet?