Category Archives: media

Byron Katie’s website and books

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If you’re interested in learning more about Byron Katie and The Work, please check out her website.

She mentioned several times yesterday that she makes her worksheets and other resources available for free on her website. They’re on the Do The Work page.

She also helps people find certified facilitators in The Work, some of whom work for free or on a sliding scale, or use Skype so that location isn’t a problem.

I see that there is also a helpline.

Her first book, Loving What Is: Four Questions that Can Change Your Life, came out in 2002. This book covers applying The Work in all kinds of situations: couples and family life, work and money, self-judgment, underlying beliefs, children, the body and addiction.

There’s even a chapter on trauma, Making Friends with the Worst That Can Happen.

She’s also written:

Most recently, she and Eckhardt Tolle have contributed to a gift book, Peace in the Present Moment, which consists of selected quotations from them with photographs of flowers.

There are also Byron Katie audiobooks available on Amazon.com.

Byron Katie. Life as it is. 5,000 blog views.

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On this 19th day of my 21-day gratitude challenge, I am very grateful that Friday and Saturday, I got to spend hours in an auditorium with Byron Katie and my friends Thomas and Val and a whole bunch of other people, watching Katie, as she’s called, working with several people who were troubled about something.

Katie’s technique is called The Work, and the way we worked was to fill out a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet (available online for free along with a lot of other resources) about a recurring stressful situation, something that reliably pushes our buttons. She encouraged us to be our meanest, pettiest selves when we filled out the worksheet.

Then she asks, or has us ask ourselves, four questions:

  1. Is it true? (yes or no)
  2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (yes or no)
  3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
  4. Who would you be without the thought?

Then you turn the thought around three ways and find three specific examples of how each turnaround is true for you in that situation. For example, if my thought is “I hate him,” the turnarounds would work like this:

  1. The first turnaround is to the self. “I hate me.” How do I treat myself hatefully?
  2. The second turnaround is to the other. “He hates me.” List ways he hates me.
  3. The third turnaround is the opposite. “I love him.” How do I love him?

So from an NLP perspective, she’s working at the belief level, and she’s helping people reframe their experiences and emotions and beliefs and even identities. She refers a lot to people’s internal images (but not voices). On an energy level, she’s helping people move from contraction to expansion.

On Saturday, her first guest onstage was an attractive, polished woman who had flown here from San Francisco. Her husband of 30 years cheated on her with “a 27-year-old Brazilian whore” while she (the wronged wife) was undergoing treatment for breast cancer.

Katie took this woman through the process. She realized that she had stopped loving her husband but was willing to live a charade, she knew he was lying to her, et cetera. It took her out of her victim story. She also got huge applause for getting here with her frequent flyer miles since her husband had denied her access to all of their bank accounts. This woman is resourceful!

In the turnaround, Katie asked the woman to say, “I’m a whore,” and the woman couldn’t get the word “whore” out.

The unflappable Katie said, “What the heck. I’m enlightened. I can say it for you. ‘I’m a whore.’ There.” Big laughs and applause.

Later she worked with a woman who was so distraught because her husband, a diabetic, wouldn’t take his meds that she herself was on medication.

Once again, I’m grateful I got to see Byron Katie do The Work in person. If anyone wants to play with me, ping me.

~~~

In this moment, I’m grateful for life as it is. That’s what enlightenment is. That’s what Zen teaches. That’s what we practice when sitting in meditation.

~~~

I’m grateful to those who read my blog. Today it looks like I will cross the threshold of 5,000 views! Thank you for reading my posts. Thanks for connecting. Thanks for commenting.

New findings on how meditation changes the brain

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Peg Syverson, Zen priest and my meditation coach at the Appamada zendo, sent out an email with a link to a New York Times article on meditation, saying “We told you!”

The article, How Meditation May Change the Brain, is by a writer whose husband went on a 10-day vipassana meditation retreat. He came back so energized and enthusiastic that he vowed to meditate for two hours a day through the end of March.

She wrote:

He’s running an experiment to determine whether and how meditation actually improves the quality of his life.

Sound familiar, those of you who followed this blog last year???

The writer admits she’s a skeptic — and then cites studies and researchers on how meditation changes the brain. The latest research shows measurable changes in gray matter that affect memory, learning, anxiety, and stress in a group that meditated for 30 minutes a day for eight weeks, compared to a control group not meditating that had no such changes.

Other studies have shown meditation increasing empathy and compassion.

What the writer believes is that through meditation, her husband became empathetic enough that he now takes out the trash and puts gas in the car because he knows she doesn’t like to do those chores.

She can go with that.

Oh, and here’s a link to the abstract of the findings about gray matter.

Day 14: Being a mad scientist, having a wise realtor, leaving home

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We’re two-thirds of the way through the 21-day gratitude challenge!

I’m grateful for the “mad scientist” aspect of my personality.

I’m happily dreaming up and promoting the next challenge, a two-month experiment in doing the trauma releasing exercises.

I’m an Aquarius, born Feb. 7. That sign suits me. (If the “new astrology” is real, I’d be a Capricorn, which doesn’t suit me.) I like experimenting and learning!

I have no idea if anyone will follow me, but I’m willing to be the “lone nut”. (Most Aquarians are.)

That lone nut reference is to a video about leadership lessons from dancing, which you can view here. Are you willing to be a first follower?

I’m grateful for the wise advice of my realtor, who told me not to meet with the buyer of my house until closing. Yesterday I did meet him, but we didn’t converse. His realtor, his inspector, a foundation repairman, and he all came by yesterday to move ahead with his plans for buying and remodeling the house.

I wondered about that advice, and then I realized how emotional it is to sell my home in which I’ve lived 10 years of my life.

It’s the end of an era, not just of the house, but in my life.

The buyer and I will close and I hope we’ll spend some time hanging out. I can tell him about the plants and what I would have done if I had remodeled.

I’m grateful for the 10 years in which this house has provided me a home. So much has happened in those 10 years: The jobs I’ve had that paid the mortgage and bills, the times I’ve been unemployed, the people who have lived or stayed here with me at various times, the work I’ve done and have had others do, the heartbreaks and disappointments, the fun, the moments of joy, the moments of incredible stillness and peace and bliss…

The me of 10 years ago didn’t know herself (or like herself) nearly as much as I do now.

This house is where I recovered from my major childhood trauma, and where I got present in my life and truly acknowledged from the depths of my being how lucky I am to have a community of friends and family.

The guests I’ve had!!!

The yoga I’ve done!!!

The meals I’ve cooked!!!

I’ll be blogging more about my gratitude for this house and the past 10 years over the next week.

Announcing the Chronic Stress and Trauma Recovery Challenge

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On February 2, after completing the 21-day gratitude challenge, I am starting a new challenge, the Chronic Stress and Trauma Recovery Challenge.

One topic that consistently draws people to this blog is David Berceli’s trauma releasing exercises, as described in his book, The Revolutionary Trauma Release Process: Transcend Your Toughest Times, and seen in his video, Trauma Releasing Exercises Step by Step Video Instruction and Demonstration.

I’ve posted about them several times and done them at least a dozen times.They aren’t hard to learn or do — you just have to be able-bodied.

Although I have experienced trauma in my distant past, my take on these exercises is that they are very helpful for releasing chronic stress, which is much more common than trauma in today’s world.

It’s been estimated that as many as 90 percent of doctor’s visits are for problems related to stress. So let’s do something to decrease stress!

Besides, I need to do these exercises consistently, and I want to make it fun and useful for others, so I’m inviting you to join me in creating an online resource of anecdotal reports about the effects of doing these exercises. I would love to have your input!

  • Ever had a job you disliked or got burned out on and couldn’t just leave because of your mortgage/insurance/retirement? That’s chronic stress.
  • Ever had a difficult colleague/customer/boss/partner who seemingly loved to make your life miserable, whom you couldn’t just tell off because you’d get fired/dumped? That’s chronic stress.
  • Ever tried to work and take care of your spouse, kids, and aging parents, putting yourself last? And throw in a difficult commute or special-needs family member? That’s chronic stress.
  • Ever been consumed with worry, so that your health suffered? That’s chronic stress.

Ask yourself this:

How relaxed am I?

Is relaxation a distant memory?

Is relaxation something I only experience with alcohol or an expensive vacation or pharmaceuticals?

What can I do to release tension from my body in a healthy way?

Do I do this often enough to experience life for most of every day in a relaxed state?

If any of these questions hit home, please consider participating in this challenge. Your participation doesn’t have to exactly match mine. Do what you can, and I’d love to hear about your experience.

Trauma recovery experimenters are welcome to take part and report too. That is what this process is designed for.

Here’s how the challenge works (and if I am the only one, I will happily be the lone nut curious enough to do this and learn something useful to share):

  1. If you don’t have the book or video, order them now. The links above will take you to Amazon.com.
  2. On February 2, do the exercises. They take 20-30 minutes. I’ll be doing them and reporting here, and you can share your experience in the comments.
  3. For the rest of February, do the exercises on even-numbered days. Report as needed.
  4. In March, do them twice a week on your own schedule. Report significant changes in the comments.
  5. At the end of March, notice what has changed in your body, attitude, sense of well-being, emotions, vices, and other aspects of your life that may be attributable to doing these exercises and letting go of stress. Share in the comments!
  6. Learn to recognize what your unstressed body feels like and what the signals are that you need to do the exercises. This is a skill.

That’s it! This is qualitative research, health and well-being improvement, and community service, folks. I’d love to receive and share your contributions. Maybe we can make the world a better place while benefitting ourselves!

Any questions before we start? Feel free to email me at mareynolds27 at gmail dot com.

Father and infant daughter, a new watch, pigeon pose

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This will be a quick post after a long and busy day.

Today I’m grateful that I saw Brannen Temple holding his tiny, one-month-old daughter Najwa, who was sound asleep on his forearm this morning when I dropped Hannah off.

They made a beautiful picture together that just enchanted me — the big man and the tiny baby.

The photo above of Brannen’s hands and Najwa’s feet was taken by Sarah Temple. Love this photo, Sarah!

I found a watch at Target this evening that’s exactly like my description a week ago of what I desired in a watch but had never seen! It has a large round silver analog watch face, big numbers, a second hand, and a skinny black leather band. Found it for only $9.99!

For this I am grateful. They are very handy when teaching restorative yoga. Thanks to Mary Jean for suggesting Target.

I’m also grateful tonight for eka pada rajakapotasana, one-legged king pigeon pose. It just feels so good! It’s nice to use bolsters and blankets and hold it long with forehead on floor as a passive, resting, restorative pose. Ahhhhh!

Thanks to Yoga Journal for the borrowed photo below.

A contract on house, relationship woes, and 1950s housewife takes LSD

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I’m up very early today, which is going to be a long one full of NLP training for master practitioners. It’s metaphor weekend!

Yesterday I gratefully signed a contract on my house! It feels really, really good, seven and a half weeks after listing it. It looks like the couple who saw it Thursday night for the first time and came back Friday to see it in the daytime are offering a backup contract, if the first one falls through.

Also yesterday, several people I care about were experiencing relationship difficulties. Feelings of disappointment, betrayal, anger, hurt, sadness, disrespect; expressing feelings, finding support, creating distance, moving on in some way. (Don’t try to make sense of this — I’m talking about several conflicts and people here. I’m sure you have experienced something similar — a loved one’s pain.)

I’m especially grateful to my Facebook friend Fran who asked this key question:

What is the lesson? Therein lies the silver lining!

Great question! Thank you, Fran!

I thought about it for a while. I got how my energy had gone out into each person’s hurting heart, feeling their pain. I got clear that these difficulties belonged to them (even if some were of their own making — like, “Man, what did you expect would happen? Snap to! You’re hurting someone!”), and that I could just simply extend my heart to them.

The pain is in discovering that the world is not as we believe it to be, that people are not who we believe they are. It is as it is, they behave as they behave.

if you can’t trust ’em, move on with those you can trust. if you betrayed someone’s trust, know it will probably never be the same. forgiveness, compassion, good boundaries solve a lot of problems. i hold them in the light.

And finally, today I am grateful for the wonderful finds on the internet. Here’s an old film from the 1950s where a normal housewife is given LSD and interviewed by a scientist on camera. Back when Technicolor was new. ; ) Enjoy!

Day 10: Tim Ferriss and The 4-Hour Body. I love teaching yoga. YES!

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The three things I’m grateful for today (day 10 of 21) are: Tim Ferriss, teaching yoga, and the word YES.

If you don’t know Tim Ferriss, you should. He wrote a groundbreaking book called The 4-Hour Work Week, which was a huge bestseller. He shared how people can get out of the rat race of working long hours for someone else and find a new lifestyle where the work is mostly remote and delegated.

Tim chose to travel, learn tango, compete in martial arts contests, and write a bestseller after setting up a health supplement company that practically ran on autopilot, which allowed him the time and income to do those things.

I haven’t followed his formula, but it inspired me to come up with a business idea that I could do anywhere I have access to a phone for a few hours a day, with fairly low start-up costs. I may do it yet, so it’s a secret!

What I love about Tim is his plain ol’ brashness. He’s incredibly curious and likes to find out for himself. He’s a pioneer, an explorer, an adventurer, a seeker, a finder, and a sharer. He’s got the energy of a barrel of laughing monkeys. What’s not to like?

He blogs about his experiments in lifestyle design, too.

Tim is back with a new book, The 4-Hour Body. I’ve just started reading it, and I can tell you now, I will learn a lot from it. With access to doctors, scientists, elite athletes, and state-of-the-art measuring equipment for his own personal experimentation, Tim has hacked the secrets to losing weight, gaining muscle, sleeping well, increasing testosterone and sperm count, running faster, reversing “permanent” injuries, and having 15-minute orgasms. So the cover says, anyway!

He shows you how to make tiny changes, starting from where you are now, that are the most effective changes. His key question is:

For all things physical, what are the tiniest changes that produce the biggest results?

(No wonder this appeals to me: It’s a Maximizer strategy. See my earlier post about finding your strengths.)

I love key questions and will blog about them in the future.

I peeked ahead to see how to lose 20 lbs in 30 days. His formula is:

  • Avoid “white” carbohydrates (or anything that can be white).
  • Eat the same few meals over and over again.
  • Don’t drink calories.
  • Don’t eat fruit.
  • Take one day off per week and go nuts.

And then he gives the fine points.

(Can’t wait until he hacks enlightenment in his next book, The 4-Hour Brain. You listening, Tim?)

Another thing I’m grateful for is that I finally took yoga teacher training and am teaching yoga. It is so gratifying to help motivated people find their way into yoga. Whether they are beginners who want one-on-one personal attention and instruction as they learn, or just want to unwind from stress and experience some deep relaxation, I’m enjoying teaching.

At present, I have one class on Sunday evenings, a restorative class in Oak Hill, and I have a private student who comes to my home after work one evening each week. (Bonus: My cat Mango curled up on top of her during savasana this week! He knows where the good juicy energy is.)

I’d like to teach more. My rates are very reasonable. Private classes are $25 an hour now, and group classes are $10 for 60 minutes, $15 for 90 minutes. If you want a trial session, call me.

You can read more on my Yoga offerings page on this blog.

I am grateful for the word YES. I’ve been getting some very nice YESes in my life lately. Two offers on my house this week, one of which I am getting ready to say YES to — and some folks who were looking at it last night loved it too. Affirmation!

Oh, and according to Patrice,

No is just another way of saying Yes.

So basically, it’s all Yes!

Don’t fall asleep!

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Saw this sign backstage at the Jason Mraz concert at the Erwin Center.

Water falling from the sky, Mexican food, and saying no

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I am grateful for rainy days, specifically for today’s drizzle and forecast of rain for the rest of today and into tomorrow. After I post this, I’m going back to bed with a cup of tea and the wonderful novel I’m reading.

Isn’t it somewhat miraculous that we live on a planet where water falls out of the sky from shape-shifting beings called clouds? And that water soaks into the earth to nourish plant life, which feeds all the animals, including us, and also — by seeking the lowest place — that it runs off into streams and rivers and seas? And that water evaporates back into clouds to start the cycle over again?

(If it’s flooding now where you live, I hope you feel grateful for the evaporation and the gaps between rains.)

I feel gratitude for Mexican food. I just made myself some migas for breakfast. If you’re not familiar with migas, they’re scrambled eggs with salsa, grated cheese, and crumbled corn chips mixed in. Very popular in Texas!

I love the mouth-feel (the soft warm cage-free farm eggs and cheddar cheese contrasted with the crunch of the corn chips), the flavors (bland eggs, piquant salsa, sharp cheddar, salty chips), and the colors (especially if you use the baked blue corn chips). Migas made with high-quality, healthy, fresh ingredients are quite appetizing, and it’s a fun, creative way to gussy up scrambled eggs. (Try some smoked goat gouda sometimes in place of the cheddar. Yum!)

I feel gratitude for being able to say “no”. My friend Katie just called about meeting up with her and other dear friends today for an attractive adventure.

I declined, telling her of my plan to read in bed today.

She liked that I was doing that for myself, and I liked that she and Glenda and Vee were doing something they wanted to do. We left off agreeing that either I’ll call her when I’m ready for something else, or she’ll call me when they’re ready to do something else. Everyone is happy and fulfilled and flexible.

Easy peasy, huh? Not always, for me. I’ve learned how to say no without feeling like I need to apologize, and for that I feel very, very grateful.