Category Archives: connecting

Letting the light in

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Christmas morning, 2012. I’m house- and pet-sitting Mango. It’s going to be a quiet day of solitude — I accidentally left my phone at my trailer last night. So be it. Today it can wait.

My family is gathering on the 27th, when more of us are able to gather. Hospitals are open every day of the year and someone has to care for those sick people, and children of divorced parents usually split their holidays, and sometimes people move over the holidays. I am grateful to have a family to connect with at all.

Last night I attended a warm, lovely Christmas Eve potluck and jam session in a friend’s magical backyard. Sitting outside watching the waxing, near-full moon behind a big, ever-changing, cloud-studded sky, a few stars playing peekaboo, was quite enjoyable.

So much of this season is about darkness and light. It must have been a mystery to our ancestors, especially in the far northern latitudes of Europe where mine lived for so long, to observe the days growing shorter and shorter, the life-giving light and heat of the sun retreating while the cold and dark established themselves firmly. Would the sun return? Was this the end? The warmth of family and community gathering in spite of the backdrop of long, cold nights must have been especially meaningful in the face of this big cold mystery. It was to me, last night.

This must have been mysterious enough that ancient investigators began to measure changes in day length and discovered a pattern that included the winter solstice, the turning point in which the days begin to grow long again, that happened year after year. The predictability must have lent considerable order to chaos and thus been worthy of great celebrations, once they figured it out.

No wonder this time of year is celebrated by so many cultures, that the birth of God’s son was moved to this powerful time of year.

I had an urge this Christmas morning to open all the blinds at the house where I’m staying, to let as much light in as possible.

Today the skies are partly cloudy, here in Austin, TX, where winter exists but only in spurts. Today the sunshine comes and goes. The bare branches of the deciduous trees appear silhouetted against that sky.

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I’ve always appreciated winter for the way it strips away the leaves, exposing the bone structure of trees. Perhaps that’s a reason I’m drawn to giving massage — to feel through the soft tissues to the solid bone within — or to investigating and appreciating the power of the season.

The wind is blowing. The branches are waving, the remaining leaves fluttering and quivering. Hello.

I’m having a breakfast of cooked quinoa with currants, a little ghee, and honey, along with a new favorite, a delicious three-ginger tea (ginger, galangal, and turmeric from Pukka, a British purveyor of organic and Ayurvedic herbal products), a clementine and grapefruit juice. I forgot to buy special food for Christmas morning, and I’m not missing it. Oh, I’ll indulge in tamales and eggnog and sweets for a few more days and then gladly clean up my diet again. January is good for that.

Mango has been offered a bit of sockeye salmon roasted in butter, which he turned down in favor of cat treats. Go figure. Maybe we’ll sit in the sun or snuggle in a Christmas nap together later. And later I will go out, to offer chair massage to the staff at the hospital where my daughter is working, then off to another potluck and jam session with friends.

I enjoy the connections and celebrations of the season, but the most special part of this holiday to me is waking up knowing it’s Christmas, knowing it’s a holy day, a special day unlike any other, and feeling the joy of that.

Even without a gift given or received, without the feasting, without the camaraderie of my beloved family and friends, without church, music, lights, and all the traditions of the season, it’s truly just a day to be awake and to marvel in this big mystery, to be filled with gratitude and wonder for this amazing life.

As is every day!

Leaning into 2013: how to make meditation a near-daily pleasure.

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I’ve been thinking a lot this December about what changes I’d like to make in 2013.

In the past, I usually didn’t think much about it at all, and when I did, my thoughts on the matter all took place in the last week of the year, after Christmas.

Unfortunately, my New Year resolutions were usually short-lived.

I’d like to change that. I’d like to become more disciplined, and I’d like to be realistic about what that means so I can actually make lasting changes in my life.

The problem is, I like to rebel against “the rules”, so when I set up strict rules for myself, I am setting myself up to break them. It’s counterproductive.

I spent a year meditating for 30 minutes nearly every day, and when that year was up, I rebelled and didn’t meditate every day any more. My sitting practice became sporadic.

I’d like to figure out a way to make meditation a pleasure.

One possibility: Instead of creating a rule to meditate for 30 minutes every day, I can meditate for at least 15 minutes 5 out of 7 days.

I like that flexibility. However, it still sounds like a chore. Why am I making meditation such a joyless task to be done somewhat regularly and checked off a list?

Looking at what keeps me from meditating: I often allow myself to get sucked into reading email and checking Facebook, my online massage booking site, Twitter, Tumblr, blog stats, and so on in the morning, and before I know it, it’s time to get ready for work, and I haven’t meditated.

And…if I don’t meditate in the morning, it usually doesn’t happen.

I don’t know why this is, except perhaps that it takes more effort to do nothing than you’d think, to tear myself away from my laptop and sit myself down on the cushion.

Once I start sitting, I actually love meditation. I love getting really present with myself, breathing, hearing, seeing (if my eyes are open), feeling my body, witnessing my thoughts, noticing my chakras open, experiencing the silent stillness that contains everything, even just feeling the little aches, pains, and tensions as I sit.

To experience this is a joy that keeps on giving throughout the day, somehow connecting me with resources that help me meet life with more equanimity and love, including self-love, than I could otherwise summon.

How can I make this a pleasure? It’s so much more rewarding than being online in terms of enhancing my well-being and the quality of my life, relationships, activities, decisions!

What if…I stay offline until I’ve meditated, and I make it my goal to meditate no longer than an hour, except when I really want to (and have time) to go longer? I can set the timer for an hour, end it then or when it seems complete, and be happy about it all.

Now we’re cooking!

Mr. Rogers and 5 random acts of kindness for each person who died

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This has been quoted on Facebook about how to help young children who encounter scary things in the news:

When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” To this day, especially in times of “disaster,” I remember my mother’s words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world. ~ Fred Rogers

Here’s a link to the whole web page from which the quote came.

This is part of why I don’t own a television:

The way that news is presented on television can be quite confusing for a young child. The same video segment may be shown over and over again through the day, as if each showing was a different event. Someone who has died turns up alive and then dies again and again. Children often become very anxious since they don’t understand much about videotape replays, closeups, and camera angles. Any televised danger seems close to home to them because the tragic scenes are taking place on the TV set in their own living room. Children can’t tell the difference between what’s close and what’s far away, what’s real and what’s pretend, or what’s new and what’s re-run.

It’s not just children who become very anxious. Your consciousness is taking it in. Even though I’ve been an adult for a long time, and I’ve been conditioned about what “reality” is, watching the events of 9-11 really brought it home to me: the way “the news” televises tragedies is traumatizing. So many replays, so much repetition to get all “the facts” right, so much effort to keep people glued to their sets, feeling horrified and helpless, while taking in those images and words over and over again.

Turn off the news. Go for a walk. Pray and take care of yourself and your family. And look for solutions.

One Facebook friend (Ginger Webb, whom I’ve never met but whose fabulous herbal products I buy and recommend) proposed doing five random acts of kindness for each person who died.

I like that. I so wish that our government would enact gun control laws and make treatment for PTSD free and accessible for everyone. We do not need to be as highly armed as we are, and we’re not doing a very good job keeping guns out of the hands of the emotionally disturbed.

It will take time and effort for that to happen, and it may not, judging by the past. This time could be different, though. Please let your voice be heard.

Meanwhile, put some good into the world. You never know how stressed or hurting someone might really be, and how meaningful your unexpected kindness could be.

Give and save: Massage gift certificates and packets available

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Okay, friends, it’s time. I will be raising my rates starting January 1, 2013, to $65 per hour. You can still get in at the $60 per hour rate before then, and you can buy packets to save as well!

  • Buy three 60-minute sessions for $60 per hour.
  • Buy five 60-minute sessions for $55 per hour.
  • Buy seven 60-minute sessions for $50 per hour.
  • You can split your time up into half-hour segments, using 30 or 90 minutes as you prefer.
  • You can design your own session: you can mix and match Ashiatsu, Swedish, and reflexology to meet your body’s needs.
  • Best of all, you can purchase a packet at a discount, give some sessions away (I offer nice gift certificates), and use the rest yourself!

Massage makes a great gift. We all know stressed or aching people who would be incredibly grateful to receive one. I have gift certificates available in any denomination starting with $30.

I hope you will consider scheduling your next massage with me. To book an appointment online, go to http://thewell.fullslate.com.

To buy a packet or gift certificate, please call (512-507-4184) or email me (mareynolds27@gmail.com).

SOS holiday party, silent auction, gift certificates for massage….

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I am really feeling jazzed! I’ve been a supporter for many years of the Save Our Springs Alliance, a local environmental group dedicated to preserving the quality of “the soul of Austin,” Barton Springs.

bartonspringsIf you’re not familiar with Barton Springs, it’s a large spring-fed urban swimming hole with a natural bottom, populated with plants, fish, salamanders, crawdads, and other wildlife, including humans. It’s got a nice view of the downtown skyline and is a must-see stop for tourists.

The water is unchlorinated and cold, and it feels fantastic! It takes courage to get in because it’s so cold (68-70 F. year-round). I am mostly a warm-weather swimmer/snorkeler there,though I’ll do the New Year’s Day polar bear dip if the weather is decent.

Keeping the springs clean and healthy is a challenge in an urban environment, and SOS does a good job.

Every year SOS holds a holiday party and silent auction. It’s one of the best nonprofit parties around, with good food, live music and dancing, an excellent silent auction, and lots of fun people.

This year for the first time, I had something to donate to the silent auction. I donated an Ashiatsu gift certificate for a 90-minute session. I stopped by the SOS office, my first time there, to drop it off and was warmly welcomed by Pat and Bill and recognized as a long-time member.

Wow, I wasn’t expecting that!

Anyway, if you’re interested, come to the party and bid on an Ashiatsu session with me and whatever else you like! It’s Thursday, Dec. 6, 6 pm-midnight, at Mercury Hall. Here are the details.

I also have massage and Ashiatsu gift certificates available for purchase. You choose the denomination — my sessions start at 30 minutes, and recipients can always upgrade to add more time.

Election, holidays: with respect for grace and sanity

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The election is over. This time it was different. I felt more detached, less prone to let others’ emotions affect me.

I don’t own a TV. I do listen to public radio in my car sometimes, and I sometimes check out the headlines online, so I’m not completely unfamiliar with current events. I check Facebook and Twitter almost daily, and I caught a lot of people’s posts/tweets about the candidates, issues, things the candidates ignored that should have been issues, spin, and so on.

I didn’t get wound up about it. I knew who I would vote for, and I followed through. The candidate I voted for won, which isn’t always the case. Now we’ll see how the nation and the world fare for the next four years.

It was surprisingly serene.

Thanksgiving was also very low-key this year. I cooked, and a couple of friends came over for potluck, talk, and play. Then we went to see The Life of Pi in 3D. I’d read the book and thought the film was well-done.

I went to another movie the next day with my family. Did not go shopping. Worked Saturday morning. Danced with my ecstatic community in our new space on Sunday morning. Worked Sunday evening.

We’re supposed to feel grateful at Thanksgiving. I have gotten leery of “supposed to” thinking. I could have posted a feel-good post about Thanksgiving, yet something inside made me hesitate.

Even better than feeling grateful because it’s Thanksgiving: Listening to how you really feel.

What if your highest purpose in life is to be yourself and to love yourself no matter what?

Anyway, my best wish for us all is to get through this holiday season with grace and sanity.

Building my massage practice

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I have not been posting here quite as often as I used to because I’m working on building my massage practice, which includes not just giving massage (which I enjoy and am good at) but also learning about business matters like marketing, bookkeeping, scheduling, pricing, and so on.

That kind of practical, down-to-earth stuff that doesn’t seem to fit well with the themes of this blog. You’re not here to learn whether to use Quicken or Quickbooks, read about using incentives to attract and retain clients, or sift through research on gift certificate law in Texas, but currently I am a sponge for all that.

I’d love to share some of my lovely experiences! I had fun on Friday morning doing something new: going to each business on the block where my studio is located, introducing myself as a new neighbor, and letting them know I’m available for massage just a short walk away.

My friend Keith came with me. We talked to people at 19 businesses and left a flyer for the bulletin board and business cards at each one. I was glad to have his company.

One of my pet peeves is that I work hard to get stressed people all nice and relaxed, and when their session is over, they get in their car and drive away, which can so easily undo the relaxed state.

I’ve begun suggesting that they enjoy their relaxed state as long as possible, just becoming alert enough to drive themselves safely home.

Even better would be if people could walk to my studio, get a massage, and walk back. Walking anchors the relaxed state more deeply, and the neighborhood is old and lovely, a visual treat.

~~~

I’ll be sending off for my certification in Ashiatsu Oriental Bar Therapy today, having done the requisite 20 practice sessions with evaluations. I’ll take the test and get the paperwork in the mail. That feels good. I’m really grateful I can offer this modality.

I’ve just ordered a workbook on trigger points and am looking forward to learning how to work with them. I will be able to make even more of a difference when clients experience muscle pain.

I’ve been fortunate to have worked on some people who are themselves highly experienced bodyworkers, who have shared tips and wisdom with me. I feel immensely grateful for the support.

When I start each session, I like to be still for a moment, connecting my energy to earth and heaven and then connecting to my client’s energy. It feels appropriately responsible when someone has come to me with trust that I can help them feel better. I know it sounds like a cliche, but that moment feels sacred.

Also, all of my clients are really great clients!

Do you need a blessing? Check these brief videos out!

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I found these blessings from Glenda Blessing on YouTube endearing and enchanting, inspiring and unique, and after watching them all, I feel very blessed. It’s like she is talking to me! She blesses from her heart and means every word of each blessing.

Watch them, and you will feel blessed too! The longest ones are only 15 seconds.

What a wonderful use of the Internet!

Massage testimonial

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Just received a wonderful testimonial from someone who hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in three weeks. I worked on her for two hours yesterday doing an integrative massage, and something really shifted for her.

She wrote:

I sit here at my computer after the best night’s sleep I’ve had in weeks. I am so deeply grateful for your loving energy yesterday. Your integrity, touch, and presence were exactly what I needed to break open the clogged dam of emotions that’s been keeping me from sleep.

All throughout the massage, I could feel and take in your love and healing energy which is abundantly transferred through your hands. When you said ‘How you feel matters,’ my soul got the message that you cared enough to hear, see, and touch me. When you did the cranial-sacral hold, I felt like I was being cradled by my mother.

You had asked the question, ‘What happened three weeks ago?’ … My insomnia has been “waking me up” to the fact of unfinished business…. Your work allowed me to dive through the opening and swim the turbulent waters on top of a still well. I’m not quite at the still well yet, but I have faith that I’ll get there.

All I can say in response is that it was a real pleasure and an honor to work on her. I feel grateful that opportunities to make a difference like this are coming my way in this new livelihood of massage and bodywork.

A day in the life of a massage therapist

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I’ve been doing massage since June, but I haven’t posted very much about it on this blog. I’ve been getting my bearings, gaining hands-on experience. I also maintain the confidentiality of my clients.

I’d like to write about my work, as long as my clients remain anonymous. I would have liked to read about what it’s like to work as a massage therapist, so maybe me posting about it will serve that need for someone else.

I massaged a woman who had recently had jaw surgery. She was going to physical therapy, and the PT said her neck muscles were so tight, a massage was in order.

At her request, I just worked on her back, shoulders, and neck, and I persuaded her to let me spend some time working on her feet.

It is incredibly relaxing to have foot reflexology and/or foot massage. I gave her both. There are zones on the feet that correspond to the rest of the body, so working the feet softens tense areas before I even get to them.

If you ever just want to relax and don’t have time for a full body massage, foot massage and reflexology are wonderful.

I allowed plenty of time in our session to work on her neck both when she was face down and after she turned over. I did a combination of Swedish massage and deep massage (Lauterstein method) to work on her circulatory and lymphatic systems and her structure and energy.

She told me she was having difficulty sleeping. She said she had always slept on her stomach with no pillow. Post-surgery, she was having to sleep on her back, propped up on pillows. She found it awkward and uncomfortable.

I shared with her what had helped me after I had had some major chiropractic work on my neck and was told to sleep on my back: hugging a pillow against my body. The weight of it feels comforting to a stomach sleeper.

Afterwards, she said she felt much better.

That’s one of the things I love most about being a massage therapist. What I do makes a tangible difference in people’s quality of life.

I worked on another woman who had been on her feet all weekend at an outdoor music festival. She wanted a lot of attention to her feet and legs as part of her full body massage. She booked a 90 minute massage, which is twice as relaxing as a 60 minute massage!

Truthfully, I don’t know how to quantify how relaxing a massage is. That’s a subjective measure. I just know that when I give a 60 minute massage, if the person is larger than average or has an area that needs extra attention and still wants a full body Swedish massage, the massage feels rushed, to me.

I don’t know if it feels rushed to them. Maybe that’s all they’ve ever known, and they have no idea how much more relaxed they could feel if they had a longer session. It’s their choice — and I’m not beyond suggesting that a client book a longer session next time!

I did Swedish/deep massage and reflexology/foot massage on her and was able to work at a more relaxed and relaxing pace. IMO, she did herself a huge favor by booking 90 minutes. She relaxed very deeply and looked happy when I met with her after the session.

I like using aromatherapy. It adds a nice dimension to a massage both to the client and to me.

I often put the essential oil blend Valor (from Young Living) on the client’s feet before massaging them. The way I see it, everyone needs more valor to face life, and here’s a way to get some!

When clients turn over from being face down, their breathing is often congested. When that’s the case, I like to take a drop of Eucalyptus radiata oil, rub it between my hands, and then place my hands near the client’s nose. Their eyes are covered, so they don’t see it coming. They simply smell the eucalyptus, a pleasant surprise, and it clears their breathing passages.

At the end of a massage, especially when the client has gone into a deep trance or fallen asleep, I like to rub a drop of peppermint or rosemary oil between my palms and allow the scent to help wake the client up in a refreshing way.