When I was in my 40s, I was diagnosed with PTSD. It was news to me, but as I learned more about it from my therapist and reading books (notably Waking the Tiger by Peter A. Levine), it was a no-brainer. Of course I had PTSD.
My family had suffered the tragic, violent loss of my charming younger sister when I was a child. In those days, PTSD did not exist as a diagnosis. The prevailing attitude was “just get on with your life”. There were no psychologists in the schools, and no one suggested counseling.
And yet, my experiences in the days surrounding her death wired some neurons together in my brain that affected me in the ensuing years. I sometimes reacted in ways that I didn’t understand. My self-esteem was low. I was hypervigilant, depressed, grieving, and tense. I felt like the rug had been pulled out from under my feet, and there was no longer anything solid to stand on. I lost my sense of being safe in the world.
Any kind of traumatic event like that is an obstacle in life. When I was young, it seemed insurmountable.
Getting the diagnosis was the beginning of my trauma recovery. Even though part of me really did not want to revisit that tragic time, my dreams were encouraging: finding a dusty playroom in my house that I didn’t know existed, seeing a stream of clear water running over a golden stream bed, swan-diving from a cliff into the sea to catch a fish with my bare hands to give to the king and queen.
I did a lot of processing for a couple of years, speaking with my brothers, former neighbors, and old family friends to get a broader understanding of those tragic days, to help put them in perspective. I had a timeline now, a narrative of what happened, whereas before, my memories were jumbled, with holes.
I was wondering what was next in my life when a thought occurred to me: I’d had a stress disorder for decades, and…
I really wanted to experience what it was like to be relaxed, awake, and substance-free.
That was the real beginning of my trauma-recovery journey, when obstacle became challenge. I began exploring meditation and breathwork. I noticed my own state more. I studied NLP, worked on other health issues, got craniosacral therapy and acupuncture, and decided to go into bodywork.
I experienced a few trauma reactivations, where I was convinced I was in imminent danger and my body responded by flooding me with stress hormones, which was not pleasant and made me isolate myself until it passed, as much as possible.
But I learned from experience that when I started to go into that state, I needed to check whether I was actually safe and my mind was just playing tricks on me. That’s always been the case, so far. I could use breathwork, grounding, and presence (feeling my feet on the ground) to counter it.
This was not the life I had planned to have, but it’s turning out to be even better. I’ve become more myself.
I’ve been a fan of Tim Ferriss for years now. I’ve watched him change from a sort of driven tech bro type into someone who’s really working on himself. We have something in common: childhood trauma that came to light many years later.
It’s never easy, but so much better to face it and find helpful resources to learn and grow than to ignore it. Post-traumatic growth is real.
Anyway, I get his 5-Bullet Friday emails, and I want to share something that was in the most recent one, dated August 9, 2024.
Here’s Tim:
Question I’m asking myself frequently
“How do you feel when you wake up and when you get into bed at night, and how easily do you fall asleep?” The time in bed in the morning and at night tells you all you need to know. It’s not purely intellectual reasoning. It’s not a pro-and-con list. It’s not a spreadsheet. It’s not a Venn diagram. How do you feel? Are you even aware of how you’re feeling? How much energy have you spent blocking out certain feelings because you don’t want to feel certain things? To borrow from Tara Brach: “There was a wise old sage who said, ‘There’s really only one question worth considering, and that is: What are you unwilling to feel?’” Do you wake up with a sense of foreboding and anxiety and a desire to stay in bed? When you go to bed, are you full of anxiety and worries and preoccupation about what happened, or what could happen the next day? I use this question as a systems check-in for identifying things I should stop, lessen, or double down on.
~~~
This is meaningful to me, something I practice, checking in with myself, in bed and at times during the day.
I notice so much more now, like how anxiety shows up in my body and mind, how peace feels, what’s the difference between active monkey mind and no inner monologue, how grief feels, how vitality can fill me up and overflow with positive energy when all is well, and when my system is struggling with something.
I have a website for my private bodywork practice. It’s a big and important part of my life. I haven’t posted much here on this blog about my work (although I posted a lot about Biodynamic Meditation), so I’m going to do that occasionally, keeping my clients’ identities private but letting readers know something about what this work is like.
I had a good week last week. On Monday, I first talked to a young woman who had signed up for a free 15-minute discovery call. Her father had seen me as a bodywork client and had asked if she could get in touch with me since she was going to be a massage student. I said yes. Keep reading to learn about our session.
Also on Monday, I worked on a regular, twice-a-month client in her late 70s, who’s in the early stages of Alzheimer’s, has been a friend for years, and is one of the most conscious, loving, contemplative people I know. She loves receiving craniosacral biodynamics, and I love hearing about her experience afterwards.
When she came in for her first session a few years ago, she was feeling very anxious about her prospects with Alzheimer’s, which runs in her family. She was noticing some memory issues that were a little more serious than age-related forgetfulness.
When she came back for her second session, she said her anxiety had disappeared and she was able to find her inner peace again and accept and be grateful people who would help her.
Now, she is still quite functional and gets top-notch care from her doctors and her husband.
Our biodynamics sessions are usually about going deep into a whole-system healing state unless she has a specific issue she wants me to work with.
It’s never too late to find more health and well-being.
Then I worked with a newer client who is in her 30s and is working through issues from having a very impaired parent and its impact in her adult relationships. I’ve already seen her a couple of times. She has very good body awareness, and we talk a lot during her sessions. She has vibrant energy and has already done a lot of healing/integrating/growing using many modalities. She found me through my professional association, BCTA/NA.
Tuesday is my day off, as well as weekends.
On Wednesday, I had three new clients. The first was a fellow bodyworker, trained in Structural Integration, who drove in from a few counties away. She found me online. We worked on several issues including releasing some grief, and she had a most light-hearted beautiful response! She recommended me on Google afterward, which was a lovely surprise.
The second new client that day was referred to me by a renowned bodywork teacher that I studied with starting back in 2011. She’s a current student of his and was curious about craniosacral biodynamics. I felt honored by the referral. She also had some grief issues along with some cranial issues. She liked the experience and expressed an interest in possibly training in it should a teacher be interested in teaching in Austin.
My third new client Wednesday was a young professional man, athletic, who had been working with another biodynamic craniosacral therapist who moved away from Austin and referred him to me. I asked him to do a body scan, and he said his chest area is where most of his inertia was, stemming from a major loss in childhood and residual grief, so that’s where I focused. He said he felt a lot of energy moving in the heart area afterwards.
Wednesday turned out to be a grief day, which is a bit unusual. For grief, I work with the pericardium, the “heart protector” organ in Chinese medicine, and also the lungs, diaphragm, and thoracic inlet if time permits.
I invite the body’s palpable-to-me intelligent awareness there, and it does what will most contribute to the overall health and well-being of that person in the present moment. It takes stock, gets a reading, somehow that I don’t understand but trust. After all, it knows that person’s health/life from the inside out every moment of their life from conception.
On Thursday, I worked with a woman recently diagnosed with ALS, which impairs motor neurons and has no cure. We worked with grief and on the areas where she’s noticing the most impairment in muscle movement. She recommended a documentary, For Life and Love, about strides being made in treating ALS, and I will watch it today.
On Friday, besides the young massage student I mentioned at the start of this post, I worked with a young woman who wanted some relief from her TMJ issues. Over time, I developed an integrative protocol for working with jaw issues that stem from clenching and/or grinding the teeth or bracing the jaw muscles.
She takes meds that have jaw pain as a possible side effect. I asked her if the prescribing doctor had asked her about previous jaw issues before prescribing these, and she said they didn’t. She has tooth damage from bruxism.
There’s gotta be a better way, but I don’t know what that is.
She does a lot for herself already, but the jaw pain and tension had gotten unbearable. Her neck was very tight, and she had a knot — very hard, very old — next to her C2 spinous process on the right. I’ve seen this before in maybe 15-20% of my TMJ clients. It will take a few sessions to release.
Her lateral pterygoids were the biggest culprit. They were almost the last thing I worked on, and that made the biggest difference. She immediately felt it.
People don’t know they have jaw muscles inside their mouths.
The young woman who called me on Monday was my last client of the week. She wanted some support and guidance on her career path and a sample of my bodywork, so I acted as a kind of mentor.
I saw her on Friday. I’m glad I got to talk to her. She’s a lot younger than I am, but also on the tiny side, under 5’, not that common among bodyworkers. I shared my strategies for dealing with not being tall enough or strong enough to give people a lot of pressure when giving massage. I learned Ashiatsu (barefoot massage) to be able to do that, using my body weight. I also learned reflexology and dove into working on people’s necks, all the while I was taking classes and starting to practice craniosacral therapy.
I shared more about my evolution in bodywork, eventually finding my niche. With some inspiration, I believe she will find her own way.
My favorite tip about getting through massage school had to do with being intimidated about learning the anatomy required for massage therapy, which I had never studied before.
I told her that I convinced myself that I had been a doctor in a previous life, that I already knew all the anatomy and I was just reviewing it, refreshing my memory, in this lifetime. I savored learning every new term and image, also associating with where that muscle or bone was in my body. I am now an anatomy geek.
I thought that by posting this here on my blog, anyone interested in receiving or studying craniosacral biodynamics (here or anywhere else) would have a better idea of the kinds of issues we address.
I have a website for my central Texas practice, maryannreynolds.com, if you’re interested or want to refer someone. You can also search for Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapy Association/North America to find a biodynamic practitioner near you. The Upledger Institute offers the same referral service.
Decades ago, I’d been told I had PTSD stemming from a tragic trauma that happened when I was a child, and I read up on it…enough to learn that there is no “cure”.
I found out, over time, that it’s not a life sentence.
I did a lot of processing of the trauma both with and without a therapist, recovering some forgotten memories, piecing together more about what happened way back then, talking to others who were there, having dreams that encouraged me to continuing investigating.
Experientially, I learned that I could be triggered — when something similar to my original traumatized state of shock and horror and overwhelm was reactivated, when a present-day event had some emotional resonance to an aspect of this long-ago trauma.
My whole self responded as if I was in acute danger in the present moment — when actually, I wasn’t.
The mind is powerful. Something like neurons firing together, wiring together happens with PTSD that causes this reactivation, in my understanding. It affects physiology. The present is hijacked by the past.
When triggered, I felt intense anxiety. My system became flooded with stress hormones.
I learned to ask myself if I was in actual danger. My mind deceived me. But it felt so real!
The first time after therapy that I was aware of being triggered, it took three months to fully recover. I isolated myself and focused on self-care. I still went to work, but I stayed home most of the rest of the time, seeking ways to soothe my nervous system, like listening to soothing music and guided meditations, journaling, practicing yoga and breathwork, taking Epsom salt baths, reading positive things, eating nourishing food, watching comedies, gardening, taking naps, taking supplements for adrenal fatigue.
After three months, I felt good enough to be more social again.
Each subsequent time I was triggered, I recovered more quickly. One month, then two weeks.
One night as I was falling asleep, I felt my nervous system slowly starting to go into a triggered state by some memory from the time of the traumatic event.
I pulled myself out of it by changing my focus to the safety and tranquility of the present moment before those stress hormones flooded my system.
My attention was on knowing I was safe at home in my bed, feeling the weight of my body pressing into the mattress, the warmth of being under the covers, the texture of the sheets, sleeping with my favorite pillow.
It took maybe 10 minutes.
Well done, MaryAnn. That was a major milestone in my recovery from PTSD.
I don’t know whether I’ll ever be triggered again, but I have a lot more resources now for preventing that full-blown download of stress hormones that make me feel like unfit company for anyone.
I’ve posted on this blog for nearly 14 years now, and trauma recovery was a major focus early on. I wrote about the trauma releasing exercises, shaking medicine, reading Waking the Tiger, Somatic Experiencing, and more.
I thought I would share my experience here in case it can help anyone trying to recover from PTSD. If it’s possible for me, it’s possible for you.
In my years of doing bodywork, I have encountered three clients who didn’t respond well to my work.
Each one of them had chronic pain.
Keeping up with the current understanding of chronic pain, it appears that when the tissues from the original injury have healed but pain continues, or re-emerges later, the pain has become based in the brain, not in the tissues, even though that’s where people feel it. It’s called neuroplastic pain (neuro = nervous system, plastic = able to change).
Brain-based doesn’t mean “it’s all in your head,” as in “you’re imagining it.” Nope. If you feel pain, and it hurts, it’s real.
In my own understanding, when an injury is accompanied by, or occurs with or near, a trauma (stress, overwhelm, lack of resources or support), neurons in the brain can wire together and start firing together, sending pain signals long past the healing of the injured tissues.
Similar to PTSD, chronic pain can be triggered by memories and/or emotions in the present that the brain associates with the original injury and trauma.
Effective treatment of chronic pain often responds to a mind-body approach to rewire those neurons. Fortunately, the brain has plasticity. With help, people who suffer can learn to rewire those neurons and eliminate the pain.
It’s not that bodywork can’t help. It certainly can. Over the years, I’ve helped numerous people in pain feel a lot better, and often their pain has been longstanding. Sometimes one session does wonders. Sometimes it returns, less severely than before, and we keep working until it resolves.
Sometimes a client with neuroplastic pain finally gets enough relief to resolve the residue of the trauma at the core of their pain, and it never returns.
It’s beautiful when that happens!
We know some things about chronic pain now, and there’s still a lot that’s unknown. Curiosity, inquiry, belief, and patience seem to help.
There are pain coaches who can help. I met one who gets regular craniosacral biodynamics and came in for a session when she was visiting Austin from Colorado. She works remotely. If you want a referral, please let me know. I’m sure there are many others around the country.
This past Saturday, I provided the “ofrenda” at the monthly gathering of women dancing the 5 Rhythms (Step Into Yes) in Austin, facilitated by Lisa DeLand (dancingfirelizards.com).
Lisa and I are old friends. We met at Sweat Your Prayers, an ecstatic dance, in 1995. We have similar paths of recovery from adverse childhood experiences, and now, having worked a lot with our selves, by ourselves and with the help of others, we are in the primes of our lives in terms of creating and offering paths to wholeness and wellness for those in search.
Our paths have some overlap. We both are acquainted with the vast amount of suffering in the world, including our own, and feel moved to offer paths that liberate us and those we work with from conditioning that limits us.
My ofrenda was called Bringing Us Home To Our Existence, and I had 20 minutes between waves of dancing to teach the 28 or so women present about their inner rhythms: breath, heartbeat, and tide.
Background: In late 2022, I began posting on Instagram daily — for 100 days — my experience of what I was then calling Biodynamic Meditation. I’d actually begun practicing it many years previously, in 2013, after I took my first class in Craniosacral Biodynamics and wanted to explore how the concepts of the breath of life, primary respiration, potency, and the tides actually manifested in my own embodied existence.
I sat and sat and noticed more and more. It helped to have some direction from my training, and I could go to my teacher, describe my experience, and have him verify whether I was on track.
That’s one way of learning.
I had planned to start teaching Biodynamic Meditation in 2023, and then I learned I was going to have to move from my home of 12 years, which disrupted my plans.
The move is complete. My foundation training in Craniosacral Biodynamics (and certification) is complete. I’m spending this year learning how best to teach Biodynamic Meditation, and I dipped into in-person teaching of a large group for the first time on Saturday. It was too brief, but they got a taste of it. My take is that some people (who all gathered primarily to dance) were not deeply interested, and others came up afterward and thanked me.
I’m now considering calling it meditation for self-healing, meditation for healing, meditation for health, or simply, how to make friends with your body.
If this is a topic you are interested in, I’d love to hear from you! I’m open to working with individuals, small groups, in person, and online.
It’s a drizzly day here in Central Texas. I drove on wet country roads to get to a women’s silent retreat, because I needed a few hours to simply be with myself peacefully in a quiet environment and allow what wants to arise to arise.
On the last day of November, 2023, I completed a foundation training in Craniosacral Biodynamics that started in September 2021. Ten four-day seminars in Silver Spring MD near Washington DC, meeting and exceeding the requirements for giving and receiving sessions, reporting to and receiving supervision from teaching assistants, writing a research paper on the cranial nerves, taking a four-hour test…
I put a lot into it and got a lot out of it, and I’m pleased with the work that I did to embed doing this bodywork modality deeply into my system.
I’m healthier for it, I’m able to do so much more for my clients, and my practice has grown.
My desire to undertake this training arose during COVID. I didn’t work for the first six months after the initial lockdowns, and when I went back to work it was only one or two days a week until April 2021 when a lot of people had been vaxxed and felt comfortable coming in for (overdue) bodywork.
I had received unemployment benefits and stimulus checks, my expenses were low, and I had a lot of time on my hands when so many people were getting sick, some dying or getting long COVID.
It was a sobering time. I did my end-of-life paperwork and reflected on what I’d really like to do with my life, given the opportunity and capability to make a difference.
I knew my skills as a craniosacral therapist could deepen. I’d had training in both Upledger and Biodynamics styles of craniosacral therapy. I’d thought about getting more training in Biodynamics before, but it never seemed like the right time, affordable, convenient, so I kept blowing it off.
During COVID in spring 2021, I got clear: I wanted to study Craniosacral Biodynamics, doing a full foundation training with a seasoned teacher. I was pretty sure which teacher I wanted to work with, got confirmation on that from a more experienced therapist who’d met this teacher, applied for his next training (which happened to be in DC), and was accepted.
It was a good decision. The teacher was beyond excellent and had three experienced full-fledged Biodynamics teachers assisting him. I don’t know that I could have asked for anything more. Well, perhaps not having to travel.
I did as many Biodynamics sessions as I could, and my practice grew. In addition to my private practice, I began working in an integrative medical clinic.
I did as many trades with other Biodynamics grads as I could and received professional sessions as well, averaging 2 sessions a month over the course of the training. Fortunately, I had a highly experienced practitioner in the office next to mine to answer my practical questions.
I experienced several other challenges doing the training. We wore masks indoors for the first few seminars, and of course in airports and on planes.
I made the trip halfway across the country and back nine times, opting to do one of the middle seminars on video at home when my energy was depleted.
Unaccustomed to business travel and not a frequent leisure traveler by air, the crowded airports and planes were a shock at first. I got TSA Pre-Check and later took a fellow introvert’s advice about how to do business travel with the least amount of stress, and it helped a lot. I feel more ease with business travel now.
I stayed in various AirBnBs in the DC area. Most were okay, some barely tolerable, one felt haunted (or maybe I was more sensitive), one was excellent but only a one-time possibility. I stayed in a hostel midway through and in a hotel for the last two seminars. I used the Metro to get around at first and was fascinated by it, but later took ride-shares between Reagan airport and found lodging in walking distance of the training.
It was lonely, being so far away from home in a place I was unfamiliar with. I made friends with my classmates, but I was on my own after class and sometimes felt acutely lonely. I loved my time in the classroom and appreciated every bit of kindness and connection from those associated with the training, but sometimes the rest of it was really hard.
I’m definitely not an East Coast person, and I had a new appreciation for being embedded in my central Texas community — I know I’ll always have meaningful connections here.
Being adventurous, I explored the wide variety of cuisines in downtown Silver Spring: Thai, Korean, Senegalese, Ethiopian, Vietnamese, Nepalese, Japanese, Spanish-influenced Mexican, something similar to Tex-Mex, diner, upscale American.
Air travel was easier and less expensive when I left and returned on Saturdays, and class was Monday through Thursday, so I had extra time to explore DC. I took the Metro to the Mall and visited art museums and admired the gardens. Another time, I saw the Phillips Collection. I went to the Lincoln Memorial during cherry blossom time.
Toward the end, I rented a car and took day trips to Annapolis and the Chesapeake Bay, and to Gettysburg and Harpers Ferry, just to see the countryside around DC.
A really difficult challenge happened in April 2022. I was in an automobile accident that totalled my car, and even though I wasn’t seriously injured, the effect on my nervous system was substantial.
I wondered why I couldn’t just get it together afterwards. Then I saw a post in an online Upledger group, wondering why people can have, say, shoulder surgery and be fine in a few months, but it can take 1-3 years to fully recover from an automobile accident.
Part of it is the shock. Surgeries are usually planned and can be life-saving. No one plans a car accident and you’re going to be worse off.
My autonomic nervous system experienced a dire threat. I could have lost control of my car and ended up seriously injured or dead. I could have seriously injured others, too — four cars were involved.
Humans are simply not meant to go from 65 mph to zero with impact in 5 seconds or less without repercussions. Every cell is affected. Not only did I feel stiff and unsettled, I felt buzzy electrical energy leaving my body for a few months after the accident.
It took my nervous system 11 months to recover energetically from the accident, and that’s with the help of physical therapy/yoga therapy exercises, giving and receiving Biodynamics sessions, and doing regular qi gong and meditation.
I know I did the best I could to protect myself and others from serious injury, but the person who failed to secure a ladder before driving at high speed in the middle lane of a freeway initiated the whole 4-car accident. They were never identified. My insurance went up, and someone is supposedly suing me, although I haven’t been served any papers yet. Thank goodness for the guard rail I slammed into.
The Supreme Court ruling overturning Roe v Wade also happened when I was in DC, not long after the accident, and I read about this far-right court’s desire to overturn gay and interracial marriage and outlaw birth control…a direct threat to the happiness of my family and countless others.
I experienced outrage…and depression. No government should have the right to make these decisions for individuals.
I met a man in person last November after messaging with him. He gave me a book I was interested in. We took it slowly, getting to know each other, and our friendship evolved into boyfriend-girlfriend status a few months later. It’s been a bright spot this year.
The last major challenge was learning I was going to have to move in February 2023. I felt settled in my trailer park. I didn’t want to move. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to find a new location or sell the trailer. After going back and forth on it several times, I ended up selling it and moving in with my sweet boyfriend in Wimberley in August. It’s going well.
Even the 35 mile commutes to work in Austin, driving on two-lane scenic Hill Country roads, are pleasant and restorative.
Being in the classroom and then employing new skills in my practice after each class were bright spots. I look forward to continuing to grow my skills and understanding and hopefully to contribute something to this field.
Doing this training was a true hero’s journey. I met allies, had mentors, encountered dragons, was a dragon, was tried and tested in several ways, and I came through it, completing my mission, transformed and changed.
Now, to enjoy some spaciousness as “what’s next” begins to show up.
I’ve been a yogi for a long time, and also at various times, I’ve danced, biked, swum, kayaked, walked, hiked, worked with a trainer in a fitness studio, done tai chi and/or qi gong, Pilates… I’m sure there are some activities I’ve forgotten at the moment.
I love it when my body moves well, when I have full range of motion in all my joints and can move with fluidity and enough energy and strength to do these activities and get through my days with a minimum of discomfort.
I practiced the MELT Method at home, subscribing to MELT On Demand, for a while a few years ago. It gave me online access to hundreds of videos focusing on rehydrating my body parts using soft foam rollers and balls and stretchy bands.
Hydration. Rehydration. We are squishy beings. Infants are about 70 percent water, but it declines with age, to maybe 55 percent in the senior years, which is where I am now.
In other words, we kinda dry up with age, and this shows up as stiffness.
You know what? It is not inevitable! And it takes more than just consuming enough fluid.
You want those fluids to get into your soft tissues, into your muscles and fascia, bones and joints, tendons and ligaments.
You know how good you feel after you’ve received a full body massage? Well, the secret to that good feeling is the massage therapist gliding their hands with light or firm pressure on your skin. It redistributes your fluids, which relieves stiffness, aches, and pains.
The MELT Method is hands-OFF bodywork you can do by yourself, at home, with MELT equipment and videos. Sue Hitzmann, bodyworker and self-described gym rat, developed the MELT Method and continues to add to it.
Don’t underestimate Sue because she is in great shape, attractive, perky, and wears fashionable workout wear. She’s also disciplined and brainy. She has a master’s degree in exercise science from NYU. She’s participated in dissections of cadavers to learn more about fascia and belongs to the international Fascia Research Society. She’s worked with some big names in the field of fascia research: Tom Myers, Gil Hedley, Robert Scheip, Jean-Claude Guimberteau.
She is a somatic educator, bringing information and practices you can use to enhance your experience of well-being.
I stopped doing MELT for a while but just re-upped my subscription to MELT On Demand because I was feeling too stiff.
If this interests you, @MELTmethod is a YouTube channel with free material on MELT, no subscription needed.
Here is a link to a 10-minute foot treatment. You can do this treatment on one foot and then notice the difference between each side of your body — the side you treated and the one you didn’t.
You’ll get a clear understanding of what rehydration does for you in a way that words simply can’t convey.
In some ways, it’s like reflexology. The sole of the foot maps to the entire body.
As someone who sits still for long periods in my work as a biodynamic craniosacral therapist, I can’t recommend this enough. My work is oriented to fluids and energy in the body. I help my clients experience more ease in their bodies. If I could receive a session every day, I would!
Just back from 4 days in Big Bend National Park, with the big sky, desert, mountains, river, hot springs, ravens, Mexican jays, javelinas, and numerous trails.
And most of all, quality time spent with my beloved 22-year-old granddaughter, Hannah.
And…it’s great to be back home, in my own bed, with comfort, solitude, and time to sit.
After over 3 months of daily meditations, when I start sitting, things start happening…perceptions of radiance at my face, the motions of the Tide, the vitality of my life force swirling within.
I remember when I started doing yoga (asanas) 40 years ago. At some point after my practice became habit, I realized I didn’t just DO yoga, I WAS (and still AM) yoga. It was in me.
Same now. I AM the radiance, the Tide, the swirliness, the health. It’s in me, and it’s in you too, and I can help you find it, if that is your desire.
So…I will continue my practice but won’t be posting so much about it. I will be reviewing my posts (I started on 11/11/22), exploring ways of teaching it, as one-to-one private sessions now, and later as a guided meditation/yoga nidra, for small groups, and whatever else emerges.
Thank you for checking out my posts on this inquiry. Please stay in touch! Links are in my Instagram bio.
I did something different in my Biodynamic Meditation this morning.
I stayed with whole body awareness during my 45-minute session.
I didn’t put much effort into labeling what was happening.
I just felt my life force moving within my body and field, and it felt great.
And wow! So much life force moving within me!
I noticed how pleasurable it was to simply be aware of my life force energy for that entire period of time.
I clipped my HeartMath sensor to my earlobe and set up the Inner Balance app for a session again.
I was in high coherence 88 percent of the time today.
I could see on the report that HeartMath displays after completing a session how my coherence fluctuated. It’s never a straight line. It is always changing.
I just signed up for a HeartMath training called The Resilient Heart: Trauma-Sensitive HeartMath Certification. I so love learning how we can influence the autonomic nervous system since there’s just so much unhealthy stress in most of our lives.
The Well: bodymindheartspirit 