Tag Archives: meditation

Interested in enlightenment?

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Recently I listened twice to Martha Beck’s bestseller, The Way of Integrity: The Path to Your True Self, on my drives between my office in West Lake and my home in Wimberley, TX.

I’d recently seen Martha on a Huberman Lab podcast, remembered she used to write an advice column for O (the Oprah magazine), and generally had a good impression of her as funny and sharp and compassionate. I downloaded her book.

What compels me to write about it here is this: she discovered in Western literature a tale about a man’s path to enlightenment — another name for the way of integrity.

Before reading this book, everything I had read about enlightenment came out of Hindu and Buddhist traditions, which have their own cultural spins.

I’ve been interested in enlightenment since I first encountered the concept in my early twenties. Just the word — enlightenment — had a charge to it!

My understanding of it has evolved over time, from misunderstanding to mystery to moments.

I loved the book so much, I bought a paperback version, because the book includes exercises that I couldn’t do while driving.

The Way of Integrity draws on Dante’s Divine Comedy, published around 1320 AD in Italy, in which Dante (the main character as well as the author) finds himself lost in the woods, meets a guide (the ghost of the poet Virgil), and goes on a journey through hell (the inferno), purgatory, and paradise. It’s considered a great work of Western literature.

Beck believes that Dante, the writer, himself went through an enlightenment process. She refers to Dante’s journey while bringing it into context for us moderns by discussing the everyday lives of her life coaching clients, her friends, and her own path. Believe me, she did go through hell!

Martha reads the audio version herself. Her version of enlightenment is that it’s a path, we can deepen our integrity (wholeness), and it’s available. There are tasks and markers along the way.

Some of my current practices help me on the path, I’m sure: I do yoga, I meditate, and I practice craniosacral therapy, which is mostly practiced in an expanded state of awareness. These practices have made a difference…and there’s more to explore.

I’m going to read the paperback, do the exercises, and report back.

Also, I’m on BlueSky as “wellnessing” if you want to connect there.

Recovering from PTSD

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Decades ago, I’d been told I had PTSD stemming from a tragic trauma that happened when I was a child, and I read up on it…enough to learn that there is no “cure”.

I found out, over time, that it’s not a life sentence.

I did a lot of processing of the trauma both with and without a therapist, recovering some forgotten memories, piecing together more about what happened way back then, talking to others who were there, having dreams that encouraged me to continuing investigating.

Experientially, I learned that I could be triggered — when something similar to my original traumatized state of shock and horror and overwhelm was reactivated, when a present-day event had some emotional resonance to an aspect of this long-ago trauma.

My whole self responded as if I was in acute danger in the present moment — when actually, I wasn’t.

The mind is powerful. Something like neurons firing together, wiring together happens with PTSD that causes this reactivation, in my understanding. It affects physiology. The present is hijacked by the past.

When triggered, I felt intense anxiety. My system became flooded with stress hormones.

I learned to ask myself if I was in actual danger. My mind deceived me. But it felt so real!

The first time after therapy that I was aware of being triggered, it took three months to fully recover. I isolated myself and focused on self-care. I still went to work, but I stayed home most of the rest of the time, seeking ways to soothe my nervous system, like listening to soothing music and guided meditations, journaling, practicing yoga and breathwork, taking Epsom salt baths, reading positive things, eating nourishing food, watching comedies, gardening, taking naps, taking supplements for adrenal fatigue.

After three months, I felt good enough to be more social again.

Each subsequent time I was triggered, I recovered more quickly. One month, then two weeks.

One night as I was falling asleep, I felt my nervous system slowly starting to go into a triggered state by some memory from the time of the traumatic event.

I pulled myself out of it by changing my focus to the safety and tranquility of the present moment before those stress hormones flooded my system.

My attention was on knowing I was safe at home in my bed, feeling the weight of my body pressing into the mattress, the warmth of being under the covers, the texture of the sheets, sleeping with my favorite pillow.

It took maybe 10 minutes.

Well done, MaryAnn. That was a major milestone in my recovery from PTSD.

I don’t know whether I’ll ever be triggered again, but I have a lot more resources now for preventing that full-blown download of stress hormones that make me feel like unfit company for anyone.

I’ve posted on this blog for nearly 14 years now, and trauma recovery was a major focus early on. I wrote about the trauma releasing exercises, shaking medicine, reading Waking the Tiger, Somatic Experiencing, and more.

I thought I would share my experience here in case it can help anyone trying to recover from PTSD. If it’s possible for me, it’s possible for you.

New offering: Biodynamic Meditation

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Besides this blog, I also have a WordPress website for my bodywork business, in which I practice Craniosacral Biodynamics and TMJ Relief in West Lake Hills (Austin) and Wimberley, Texas.

This is a cross-post to let a wider audience know what’s new. Biodynamic Meditation is a way to learn to experience awareness of the healing currents of life force energy within your own system, without having to become a Craniosacral Biodynamics practitioner.

Meditation

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
There is a field. I’ll meet you there.Rumi

Meditation enhances my craniosacral biodynamics practice, and practicing craniosacral biodynamics influences my meditation experience.

The overlap between these practices is so great that I now call the way I meditate Biodynamic Meditation. 

Biodynamic Meditation is an awareness practice that develops around experiencing the life force moving in and through your own body, increasing your coherence and well-being.

I myself have found the experience to be centering and grounding and peaceful. It has increased my perception of being whole, of being connected to everything, and brought a deeper appreciation of my innate healing processes and vitality. 

I would love to teach this to others, working with one person at a time to start.

I’m looking for someone who would like to experience these benefits by learning Biodynamic Meditation — without needing to go through the process of first becoming a bodyworker, taking advanced classes, and developing a practice (although bodyworkers are welcome).

If you have some meditation experience, have received craniosacral biodynamics, and desire to explore this way to experience well-being, let’s connect. 

If you are interested, please schedule a free 15-minute discovery call so we can talk at a time that works for us both. I’m thinking at this time that a student doesn’t have to be local, that we can meet on Zoom: chat, practice, chat again about your practice, and so on.

If you’re interested but craniosacral biodynamics is new to you, I suggest first reading the book Craniosacral Therapy and the Energetic Body by Roger Gilchrist. 

Excerpts from the book:

How does meditation influence craniosacral biodynamics?

Deepening awareness of embodiment

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This past Saturday, I provided the “ofrenda” at the monthly gathering of women dancing the 5 Rhythms (Step Into Yes) in Austin, facilitated by Lisa DeLand (dancingfirelizards.com).

Lisa and I are old friends. We met at Sweat Your Prayers, an ecstatic dance, in 1995. We have similar paths of recovery from adverse childhood experiences, and now, having worked a lot with our selves, by ourselves and with the help of others, we are in the primes of our lives in terms of creating and offering paths to wholeness and wellness for those in search.

Our paths have some overlap. We both are acquainted with the vast amount of suffering in the world, including our own, and feel moved to offer paths that liberate us and those we work with from conditioning that limits us.

My ofrenda was called Bringing Us Home To Our Existence, and I had 20 minutes between waves of dancing to teach the 28 or so women present about their inner rhythms: breath, heartbeat, and tide.

Background: In late 2022, I began posting on Instagram daily — for 100 days — my experience of what I was then calling Biodynamic Meditation. I’d actually begun practicing it many years previously, in 2013, after I took my first class in Craniosacral Biodynamics and wanted to explore how the concepts of the breath of life, primary respiration, potency, and the tides actually manifested in my own embodied existence.

I sat and sat and noticed more and more. It helped to have some direction from my training, and I could go to my teacher, describe my experience, and have him verify whether I was on track.

That’s one way of learning.

I had planned to start teaching Biodynamic Meditation in 2023, and then I learned I was going to have to move from my home of 12 years, which disrupted my plans.

The move is complete. My foundation training in Craniosacral Biodynamics (and certification) is complete. I’m spending this year learning how best to teach Biodynamic Meditation, and I dipped into in-person teaching of a large group for the first time on Saturday. It was too brief, but they got a taste of it. My take is that some people (who all gathered primarily to dance) were not deeply interested, and others came up afterward and thanked me.

I’m now considering calling it meditation for self-healing, meditation for healing, meditation for health, or simply, how to make friends with your body.

If this is a topic you are interested in, I’d love to hear from you! I’m open to working with individuals, small groups, in person, and online.

100 posts — and what’s next

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This is my 100th post on Biodynamic Meditation!

Just back from 4 days in Big Bend National Park, with the big sky, desert, mountains, river, hot springs, ravens, Mexican jays, javelinas, and numerous trails.

And most of all, quality time spent with my beloved 22-year-old granddaughter, Hannah.

And…it’s great to be back home, in my own bed, with comfort, solitude, and time to sit.

After over 3 months of daily meditations, when I start sitting, things start happening…perceptions of radiance at my face, the motions of the Tide, the vitality of my life force swirling within.

I remember when I started doing yoga (asanas) 40 years ago. At some point after my practice became habit, I realized I didn’t just DO yoga, I WAS (and still AM) yoga. It was in me.

Same now. I AM the radiance, the Tide, the swirliness, the health. It’s in me, and it’s in you too, and I can help you find it, if that is your desire.

So…I will continue my practice but won’t be posting so much about it. I will be reviewing my posts (I started on 11/11/22), exploring ways of teaching it, as one-to-one private sessions now, and later as a guided meditation/yoga nidra, for small groups, and whatever else emerges.

Thank you for checking out my posts on this inquiry. Please stay in touch! Links are in my Instagram bio.

#biodynamicmeditation #craniosacralbiodynamics #craniosacraltherapy #craniosacral #biodynamiccraniosacraltherapy #bcst #radianceatmyface #tide #swirliness #perception #love #vitality #lifeforce #teaching #practice

Biodynamic Meditation deepens resilience

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Most of my Biodynamic Meditation this morning was sensing big currents of energy moving within and through me.

At one point the energy condensed in my heart center and then released and swirled some more.

It felt pleasurable, like heart-love feels.

I was in high coherence 84 percent of the time. I’ve spent time with HeartMath in the past, then forgotten about it. Now I’m back, using a sensor during my sessions and training in The Resilient Heart to have more skill doing trauma-sensitive work with my clients.

I’m a trauma survivor myself. I believe most of us are, to some degree. Maybe all of us.

Who has not experienced overwhelm or shock? If you’re fortunate, you have enough resources in yourself and from others to recover. That’s resilience.

If the shock is deep enough, or repeated before you can recover, it can leave imprints in your system.

Recovering your resilience is possible. Biodynamic Meditation and Craniosacral Biodynamics are so helpful at increasing resilience, releasing trauma imprints, and assisting in trauma recovery.

I’ll be camping at Big Bend for the next few days. Will take notes on my meditations and post when I return.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

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Busy day ahead, three sessions in two locations and a yoga class, so this post will be short and sweet.

Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone who loves, is loving, lovable, who cares about others.

The heart chakra is the most powerful chakra of all, extending at least 3 feet out.

I’m taking a class, The Resilient Heart: Trauma-Sensitive HeartMath Training and Certification.

To become more heart centered, breathe as if your heart is doing the breathing, breathing in and out with your heart center.

It really activates that chakra.

Whole body awareness with HeartMath sensor: 88 percent high coherence!

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I did something different in my Biodynamic Meditation this morning.

I stayed with whole body awareness during my 45-minute session.

I didn’t put much effort into labeling what was happening.

I just felt my life force moving within my body and field, and it felt great.

And wow! So much life force moving within me!

I noticed how pleasurable it was to simply be aware of my life force energy for that entire period of time.

I clipped my HeartMath sensor to my earlobe and set up the Inner Balance app for a session again.

I was in high coherence 88 percent of the time today.

I could see on the report that HeartMath displays after completing a session how my coherence fluctuated. It’s never a straight line. It is always changing.

I just signed up for a HeartMath training called The Resilient Heart: Trauma-Sensitive HeartMath Certification. I so love learning how we can influence the autonomic nervous system since there’s just so much unhealthy stress in most of our lives.

Let’s change that. Change that, change the world.

How self-healing works

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My Biodynamic Meditation today came after spending time in a friend’s hot tub and going for a walk, including a heart-pounding hill climb.

Now, rest, meditate, write.

My session this morning included radiance at my face, the Tide, and swirliness in my head, heart, and pelvic centers.

Swirliness shows up in several ways: seeking, settling into an area or spot in the system, and reorganizing.

This is how self-healing works. Attention is love, so you bring it inside and really pay attention to your sensations, rhythms, patterns. You feel the Tide regulating your system, then you may have a stillpoint, a pause that acts as a reset button. When swirliness happens, your system frees stuck energy, increasing your vitality.

You always start with where you are today, in this moment.

L’chaim!

I heard some great music Friday night at Sahara Lounge. This is Atash. They’ve played Carnegie Hall. Amazing musicianship, danceable music!

I dreamed I was pregnant

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I dreamed that I was pregnant, and that I was preparing to go into labor with lots of support, even from people far away whom I didn’t know.

I am preparing to teach Biodynamic Meditation, and this is a good omen!

My Biodynamic Meditation this morning started with my posture, then breathing physiological sighs (sniff sniff ahhhh) until I yawned.

Radiance at my face. Then sensing the Tide ascending and descending my central energy channel.

Spacing out (heard the first mockingbird of the year singing outside — joy!).

Noticing the Tide had gotten swirly and was investigating various areas: abdomen, sacrum, throat without settling long anywhere.

I decided to pose a question to the healing energy: If you could find the most optimal place for healing in my system today, the place that’s most ready to heal, where would you go?

It settled in my spine in the mid-thoracic region and stayed there.

It was still there when my timer went off after 45 minutes, but it didn’t feel “done” so I waited 5 more minutes until it felt done.

Sometimes “done” is clearly done, and sometimes it’s “done for today”. I will find out which as the day progresses.

I have a slight reverse S curve in my spine, and this is a place where the vertebrae shift directions. I’ve been doing PT exercises for months to straighten my spine…

Yes, you can communicate with the healing energy. In my experience, it takes time to build energetic rapport with it, to develop trust and familiarity.

Even now, when I ask it a question, sometimes it doesn’t answer, and sometimes it consents…by simply doing.

It doesn’t speak English, but it understands intent.

It’s mysterious! So much more to learn! This communication comes after a lot of listening.

It might be Biodynamic Meditation 201 or 301. I’m focusing more on preparing to teach 101 now.